Symbiosis
by Candy Crackpot
Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. The story of Allen and Crowned Clown.
1. Chapter 1

Symbiosis

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: grammatical mistakes, since my first language is not English.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen

Rating: T

A/N: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience. By the way this will be short.

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Chapter 1

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It was in pieces. It was failed to be saved by the Exorcists. It saw the hopeless attempt to save the Innocence shard, however it turned out to be futile. It got in the clutches of a Noah and ended up destroyed, reduced to ashes before having the chance to join its Master.

Its Master. The for-now nameless Innocence wondered who might that be. It was on this globe for so long... Centuries and Millenias passed since "the Great Flood" and its separation from its siblings. It watched the always changing world in interest – since it had nothing else to do – it was the only constant being in this world. For the Innocence piece the world was too big, and cold and to be honest, horribly lonely. It watched empires rise and fall without being able to do anything about it. It saw humans kill and sin in the name of God, something it despiced. Sometimes it wondered why bother saving such destructive creatures? Why saving them when they are as evil as the ones they need protection from? Why did humans turn their backs on God yet annihilate in His name? Why living to save these hypocryts?

No wrong, without an Accomodator it only existed. It could see the world, but could not touch it. The only reason it went rampant since it felt the presence of an awakened Innocence and it hoped that maybe its sibling could help. But its impatience and carelessness caused it to get smashed. Now all it could hope that its Master would be able to revive it.

When will its Master awaken? When will they call out for it? Was its Master even born? So many questions bombarded its mind.

It was a little frustrated. It hated the fact that it was powerless without its Master. It was a strange thing really, it may have the force to defy the laws of nature and physics, but without its Wielder it couldn't fulfill its original duty. The Innocence may be a great force, but it didn't belong to this world. It was as if it was separated from the human world by a transparent curtain, showing everything, but not letting touch anything. It needed an entity of this world that could act as a medium – an Apostle – so it could be used. Until that it was as if it was asleep or in a kind of trance, so it acted on impulse. It had no conscious, no name.

It hated this meaningless existence. It wanted to be used already! To free the Akuma, to save humanity, to defeat the Noah clan and to erase the Dark Matter! It wanted to join its Master already, but it couldn't without being called. Without its Wielder it was practically useless, or in addition harmful. Moreover to be reduced to such disgraceful state! It was truly shameful.

_Hurry! Please hurry up and show yourself! Be born, grow up fast and call me Master! Accept me, use me, love me! So that you and I can protect this world together as one! And when Your time comes and you leave this plane I'll cerish your remains by completely assimilating it inside me._

As if on cue it felt a tug. It froze and stayed completely still, not wanting to believe it happened. Then it felt the tug again. If it had a physical form it would jump around screaming in joy like crazy. Finally! Finally it was summoned!

Not wanting to waste any more time – its Accomodator maybe in serious danger after all – as fast as it could it headed in the direction it felt the tug. It wooshed past the landscape, earth and ocean, like a shootingstar, ignoring everything else, only concentrating on the pull that intensified as it approached. As it reached the islands of the United Kingdom it slowed down. It definitely felt the call!

Ah there! London, England. The most populated city in the world. The Innocence reduced its speed again and in the form of fog it envelopped the city. It was late night, around 2 or 3 am. At time like this noone was awake. That's better, it could sneak in unnoticed. It didn't want to risk re-encountering a Noah in this state, moreover, it didn't want to risk the life of its Accomodator.

It squeezed itself in small gaps scanning the residents of each house of London. So far it didn't succeed, but it could feel getting closer. The first sunrays were already peeking at the horizon, but it still didn't want to give up. Its Wielder had to be here somewhere!

The Innocence froze when it saw a particular woman. She was civilian lying in her bed alone. Her frame was light and fragile-looking, her face still baby-like, framed by unruly auburn red hair. She was lying on her back with a relaxed expression, her hand over her flat lower-belly.

The Innocence felt the tug come from inside her body. Could it be that she was to be a parasytic type wielder? The tought made it shudder in excitement. Secretly it always used to long to fuse with the flesh of its future Wielder, so that they could much closer than any Equipment type could only dream of. Even if it didn't have a developped personality, it was a little possessive, it wanted to be the closest to its Host, the one who loved its dearest Wileder the most.

If it could it would snicker. In this fog-like form it could easily enter her body, who would have thought that getting smashed by a Noah could come in handy?

The Innocence gathered its scattered particles in the room, then through the woman's nostrils it invaded the body. Its particles shook at the feeling. The inside of a living body was so warm, the source that called out to it was so inviting. It wanted to rush in at once, but it didn't want to overwhelmits dear Host, so it continued to flow in a steady pace.

It flowed down on the windpipe and divided itself in the pair of lugs. It squished itself through the cells and joined the bloodstream. From the bloodstream it could reach every single part of her body. It flowed in the slowly beating heart of the woman and followed the great artery when it was pushed out of the ventricle. It followed the pull, navigating in the veins that became narrower and narrower. It surfed lower and lower, maybe the Innocence had to morph in her legs?

This theory was denied when it felt the tug lead it to the lower abdomen. That consfused the Innocence, it had to fuse with an organ maybe?

This suspicion was cancelled when it _entered _her womb. It was thoroughly confused. What could it do in a woman's-!

Its thoughts were cut of when it spotted a small form floating. The Innocence stopped. A _child?! _An unborn one over that?! How was this possible, the kid practically wasn't even _alive! _How could a fetus call out to Innocence?! There most be a mistake! There's no way that a baby called out to Innocence!

But it felt it acutely, this unborn human's weakly attached soul called out to it stubbornly. That sweet sound the soul emitted was intoxicating.

Hesitantly it continued it journey, meanwhile it inspected the baby. There's no denying it, no human made it feel like this before. It trembled in excitement as it approached. It couldn't help strange thoughts invading its mind.

First of all, for some unexplainable reason the baby seemed really cute. The child was so small it couldn't help it! The next thing the Innocence noticed that regretfully the poor child's left arm wasn't developping normally. Worry swelled within its heart. Now that it thought of it, the mother seemed pretty small too, probably didn't have enough money to eat as much as she needed.

Without further ado it invaded the baby through the umbilical cord.

For a moment it stopped and let the feeling wash over. It felt expuistite warm fill every particle of it. So this it what it felt like to be _alive?_ There was no more cold, no more loneliness. It was warm, it was heavenly, it was pure bliss. As if in a trance it let the invisible string pull it towards the child's left hand and assmiliate into the warm flesh. It squeezed itself as much as it could in the cells and melted into the skin, the distinctive cross took shape on the child's left hand. Lastly it connected itself to the child bloodstream and nerve system. In time it could send its signals and inform the child of their mission.

The Innocence was mildly disappointed with the outcome. The child's skin got deformed from the intense heat as they fused. It seemed like a gutted wound, deep red skin and black nails. It hoped at least it didn't hurt. Sadly it fried the nerves a little too, the child won't be able to move his – checking the rate of hormons it turned out the infant was going to be a male – arm, or only with great effort. But that was all it could do, his small body instinctively rejected the invader. It couldn't do much else until its Master understood and accepted its presence. It felt a little guilty because of this.

But in order to gain something you must go through hell for it first. The Innocence suspected that the boy's life will be hard with such handicap but it was determined to make it up for him. In exchange of the time it takes it will provide great power and protect him. It will make sure that the boy will enjoy its presence as much as it enjoyed being one with him. And if it's needed it will follow its Master to the depths of hell. Until that time it will patiently reside in the boy and stay put, so that poor boy wouldn't meet a Noah or Akuma before he was ready.

Yea, until that time it will sleep and send its signals to the boys brain so he knew he was loved by others than his parents. It was so impatient to work with its Master. It was really looking forward to that time.

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><p>Good? Bad? Continue? Banish to the lowest circle of Hell? Tell me your opinion in reviews please!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Symbiosis

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes. Allen-mental-torture.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen

Rating: T

Disclaimer: abraca-dabra disclaim! Own nothing! Hail Hoshino!

A/N: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

I would also like to thank you guys the follows, favorites and the reviews.

NVCiel: Thank you for the compliment, the review, the follow, the favorite, both the story and me as well, it feels really good to know that you like my story so far :)

thor94: It'll be posessive Innocence-chan so it'll be reeeally mad o.O

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Chapter 2: Secret Late-Night Meetings

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Another harsh slap cracked on the boy's already bruised cheek. "Didn't I fucking tell you to shut the fuck up?!" his furious abuser – his _father –_ snarled at him then took a big gulp of the cheap beverage he drunk. The Innocence was furious, the child only asked to be fed already and then this this this-! Insolent fool, who doesn't even deserve to be referred to as a parent hit its poor Master!

The child gave up on trying and left for the streets in search of some food he could find tossed away. It didn't approve of this source of nutrients but there was no helping it, that disgusting man spent all their income on alcohol.

The child looked terrible. The baby-fat melted away, revealing thin bones; the small frame that should look plump was akin to a living skeleton. How he managed to stay alive was an enigma. The boy did have fighting spirit despite the hunger pains it had to admit. Maybe this fighting spirit of the boy's was calling out to it. Even the first time it laid eyes on the fetus, he was fighting to survive in his malnourished mother's womb. It remembered their time in the urethra, those intimate moments, when only its Master and it existed and developed together. That time he zapped the nutrients from his mother, now it did the same way. No wonder the boy was so skinny.

It infuriated it to no end that its Wielder was forced to even go near those trashcans full of bacteria, not to mention eating from them. All it could do is to dull the pain in his wounds. And dear god, this child had horrible wounds.

It all started when its dear Host was finally born. In the minute the midwife cleaned away the blood she started screaming, almost dropping the baby. Hearing the screech the father of the child rushed to her child, only to be horrified when he laid eyes on the disfigured left hand where the Innocence resided.

They were reluctant to keep the child, but since the news of 'the boy born with that freakish arm' spread in the neighbourhood they had to keep him as noone wanted to adopt him. Again human hypocrytism: no one bats an eye at a baby's suffering, but once said baby is dead they point their accusing fingers on each other. It seems they love to poke their nose in other's business, however when trouble arrives they flee. It was pretty ironic that the human's hypocritism saved the child's life, after all the parents were scared that they'll be called child murderers. But regretfully that didn't mean they cared.

The mother too, was so disgusted that she refused to breastfed the child, instead she forced her child to drink some artificial milk from powder. Needles to say it didn't provide the proper nutrients for its Master's proper growth.

They reduced human contract to the boy to an extreme minimum, to the Innocence's great loathing they didn't even name him. Here they are, its Host and itself, the saviours of mankind, the hope, the light, the flesh and blood of that drunk fool and that vain woman, their own child mistreated like this! Poor boy is so frightened of his own parents, he barely talks, hence his speaking skills are almost non-existent.

But they were far from done. The first act of phisical abuse happened in the boy's second year. Seeing other, happy families' smiling faces childlike jealousy welled in his heart. He blocked the way of his mother, reaching out his thin arms towards her, asking to be picked up, to be held, to be loved... Seeing his hopeful eyes dread and disgust settled in the woman's eyes. With a harsh backhanding she shattered her son's fantasy.

From that point things went downhill drastically. The cruel beatings became even harsher as the father picked up on drinking. Soon the pale skin was littered with cuts and bruises. The scars were a different story, even though they would fade in time they were still present, an eternal reminder of his childhood abuse.

Being the coward she was his mother put all the blame on the boy, who had no idea what was going on. All he understood was the pain of his throbbing flesh and having those cold, piercing eyes glaring at him.

The Innocence hated this. Its Accomodator was exposed to such torture – because of something that was entirely out of his control – and it was powerless to stop it. It couldn't activate itself, it couldn't fight against humans. The most it could do was to act as the child's danger/survival instict and whisper soothing words in his dreams, where all mental barriers were down.

…

The boy has finally fallen asleep despite his hunger. Unbeknownst to him and his parents, the Innocence gave off a soft glow as it connected to its dear Wielder's subconscious to scult soothing dreams for him.

The Innocence prepared a landscape similar to the one the boy lived in. Not far away from the periphery of London's East End was a dried out forest the child frequented during daytime – sometimes even at night –, when he wasn't in search of food. He would walk deeper in the forest until he found a clearing, in its center a pond. Even though the trees were dead the boy found peace in the silence. Noone hurt him here, there was no pain, no suffering, just him. Alone...

The Innocence felt the loneliness eat away the child's heart. The more the child suffered, the more sentimentally attached it found itself. The abuse – that like it or not the Innocence's presence caused – made it more possessive and more protective over the child. It wasn't thinking of its Master as a partner anymore, that was too businesslike. It started to view him as its possession, its child, its other part. They were one. And it would make sure that it made up with love, even if the boy didn't remember.

There he was roaming in the fake forest. He was heading for his favorite spot by the pond. However, he stopped when he spotted an unfamiliar figure there, under the crown on a particularly big tree. He slowly approached the motionless figure. It looked like a strange statue, like a head and armless human body. Although the pair of wings sprouting from its back betrayed its non-human nature.

Driven by curiosity the boy approached the figure. Firstly he studied it at arms length, taling in its details. The Innocence tried not to fidget under the boy's glance. Even though this is not the first time they meeted like this it couldn't help its excitement. Besides the boy didn't remember anything after he woke up, so every night was like a fresh start. Only the sense of deja vu remained.

Hesintantly, the boy reached out to it and it slowly moved to nuffle itself in the child's hand. That desire was rejected when the boy let out a scared gasp and ran away. However as he noticed no footsteps followed his ones he stopped and hid behind a tree. Swallowing the nervous lump in his throat, he peeked out from behind the tree... Only to find that the creature itself disappeared too!

Frowning lightly the boy stepped out of his hiding place as he continued to eye his tree. Sudden movement caught his eye, the creature peeked out from behind his tree! Gasping again the boy hid behind the tree for refuge again. After a few moments he peeked again, but the creature was gone. Though not for long, it peeked out again, but this time it hid before the boy would. Now the boy was utterly confused, could it be that the creature meant no harm?

Meanwhile the Innocence waited paitently for the boy to reapproach it. It's not the first time they've done this. At first it randomly appeared before the boy, who in fear ran away. Seeing that this tactic didn't work, it settled for another one. Thus it posed under the boy's favorite tree waiting for him to come and then pounce on the unsuspecting cutie. Another alternative was that it appeared behind the tree where the boy was hiding. The plan failed miserably, the child woke up screaming bloody murder and successfully wetted himself. That hurt the Innocence's pride a little, it wasn't that scary looking. Okay, maybe seeing a mummy-like head and armless body with wings wasn't promising.

It realised that it couldn't chase after the boy, since he woke up, waking the whole neighbourhood, thus receiving harsh berating. That didn't do. It had to achieve that the child came to it. So it made up this game of hide-and-seek, to show the boy that it didn't feel superior towards him.

And as planned the boy did follow it. The Innocence could barely contain the urge to jump at him, but he didn't want to scare him off – again. The child was finally in front of it warily eyeing. Slowly he reached out his hand again to touch the creature. Soft skin met the warm exterior of the Innocence. It let out a hum of delight. At an excuriatingly slow place – but it'll be worth it! It reminded itself – the Innocence stretched its long neck in the child's direction, not stopping until it nuzzled itself in the boy's neck. Its Accomodator tensed, but when nothing came, just warmth he eased up. Seeing that the child calmed comewhat down, it enshrouded the boy with its wings, giving him an awkward hug.

The child's mercury eyes widened and tears ran down on his hollow cheeks. The small form trembled in its embrace then reciprocated it squeezing his face in the creature's chest. The Innocence let the poor boy find his much-needed comfort. He was young, small and weak, he needed it.

With each tear the Innocence's determination grew. Yes, it would protect its child and comfort him, even though that's not part of the standard Innocence-Apostle relationship. That doesn't matter, there are no restrictions on that. It would be by his side forever.

Okay, so this is Allen's early childhood till he's five-ish. I know I'm really cruel to emotionally torture him like this, please don't kill me! R&R&F&F me please!


	3. Chapter 3

Symbiosis

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes. Allen-emotional-torture.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen

Rating: T

Disclaimer: sadly I don't own anything. Characters and story belongs to Hoshino Katsura. I heard that she broke up with Jump SQ – because her chapter are too long – and now she's in search of a new editor. Let's hope that she'll find supporters and continue -man.

A/N: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

About the reviews, firstly I am really grateful for all of them, I'll respond to them imediatelly:

Kiki: Thank you for the support :) Yep, poor Allen's story is always sad, he probably has untreated trauma and depression. I think that's why he smiles all the time, to hide his very disturbing problems. The worst is that he can't even ask for help, not only his friends are wary of him ever since the 14th stuff, but they can't even relate. Maybe Kanda, since he killed someone he loved too (Alma) to stay alive, or Lavi, who changes persona every time. (Maybe even Krory as he too was called a monster. But I plan on dissecting this in another fic.)

Fruitloop-chan: I'm sorry that you lost appetite because of me :'( Sadly it's true that fear and ignorance gives birth to hatred, and sometimes we don't even want to understand what's going on. I hope that one day, such thing as deformity won't be an issue.

Guest: Why thank you, I hope you'll check in other times too :)

Snippertia: I'm glad you like it, I too think that there's not enough fics where Crown Clown is acting as a seperate being. My favorites are:** Transformed** and **Critical Point**. Oh and of course **Innocent love**. It's only a coincidence that I came across those fics, they're awesome. If the author labeled Allen's name on the previous two, I'm sure they'd have more follows and favorites. I hope you'll like them as much as I did :)

NVCiel: I'm glad you like it, I think that this is the same reason why it stayed with Allen – and called out to Apocryphos – even though he's turning into a Noah. I'm eager to see how will Allen settle the balance between Innocence and his inner Noah in the manga.

CloudCarnivore: I'll try updating regularly :)

Also I'm pleased to see that we have three times as many visitors than last time, thank you very much for reading me :)

Lastly, sorry for updating this late, but since there are renovational works – and I live in a block of flats (made of concrete to make sure its loud as hell) – I indulge in the pleasure of waking up to the noise of drills tearing the walls apart. And of course they won't stop 'til afternoon. I can't focus. I hope the quality of this chapter won't deteriorate from my lack of sleep.

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Chapter 3: Runaway

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"The Black Mamba strikes again!" the newspaperboy shouted to the gathering crowd. "7 people were killed in the incident!"

The Innocence's little Master was again in search of food when he heard a boy a few years older than him started advertising.

"7 people?" A passing woman gasped worried.

"I heard that it was only a few blocks away." another gossiped. "What if we are next?"

"Just what the heck are the police doing? Aren't they supposed to protect us?!"

In the past weeks mysterious deaths occurred in the neighbourhood. The victims were found sprawled over on the floor with pale face and blue lips, choking for unknown reason. They were all taken to hospital, but in a few days they inevitably died in unimaginable pain. It turned out that their blood became solid in their bloodvessels. The composition of the poison is unknown, how they got infected is a mistery, but experts likened it to a snake's venom.

And said killer always managed to slide out of the crime scene without any useful eidence, disappearing in the darkness. Thus the name "Black Mamba" was invented by the press – just like Jack the Ripper.

The Innocence was confident that it could nullify all kinds of poison's in it's Wielder body. Although it didn't want to expose its dear and damaged Master to such trauma, such as encountering a killer at this tender age.

The boy found a half-eaten sandwich which stinked a little, but he'd rather have an indigestion than starving to death. Satisfied with his small gain, the boy retreated via the alleys back in the dead forest.

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><p>A bottle crashed loudly to the wall. The boy cradled his throbbing head as he cowered on the floor. Above him his parents loomed, their hating gazes piercing him. The child whimpered in pain when a harsh kick was delivered in his stomach. "Admit it!" his father growled. "You stole it you little shit!"<p>

The excuse of today's beating was a missing pocket watch. The boy's father probably already sold it, just forgot about it. And the mother would be damned to point put her husband's obious mistake, she'd rather sacrifice her own child to keep herself safe.

Tears streamed down on the boy's bruising cheeks, but that did not deter his parents. Finally, the father hoisted the boy up by his collar and threw him out of their tumbledown hut. "Get it back or don't come home at all!" he shouted than slammed the door in the boy's face.

The Innocence's host stood on his shaking legs and wiped off the tears. He had no choice but sleep outside again. Right now he couldn't go and sleep in the forest, it's too cold for that, he'd die from hypothermia. Rather he'd go in the small alley he discovered lately. It was a small space between the bakery and the green grocer. The chimney of the bakery's oven was built there, hopefully it could provide some heat.

Even though it was only around 11 pm the streets were deserted. Anyone who could retreated in the warmth of their home. Shops were long closed, the only ones on the street were drunks and the homeless.

The boy took the next corner and hid in the shadows. If noone saw him, noone would hurt him. He may be lucky for once and steal some bread in the morning. He sat next to the chimney, back pressed to the wall as he curled up in a ball. He was about to nod off when a sudden shrill scream jolted him awake. He snapped his head at the end of the alley.

Against the Innocence's protest he carefully approached the corner and pressed his body up against the wall. Slowly and carefully he peeked out to have a look at what happened.

His eyes widened at the sight and the Innocence felt as if it was breathless. A strange snake-like monster was curled up around the now choking victim. Through it's Accomodator's eyes it saw the distinctive pentagram on the side of the beast's face. _Akuma. Level 2. Shit. _The boy was nowhere near ready to face an enemy.

_Run. RUN!_

Thankfully comprehending the desperate message the boy decided to retreat as his survival instincts told him so.

Good. If they remained silent the Akuma will leave, or some Exorcist will come and defeat it. It didn't like the idea of letting those people die, but if its Wielder died then another ray of hope for humanity would diminish. And it doubted that another human would be able to revive it. Not that it would accept any other person to use it.

"My, my what do we have here?" an ominous voice asked. The child's breath was taken when an iron tail curled around him and hoisted him up, his small feet dangling in the air. The Innocence cursed their luck. They have been found.

"What are you doing here puny little brat?" the creature mocked. "Shouldn't you be at home?" Yea, the Innocence would like to know the answer for that question too. "'Tis a pity for you. If you didn't come here I'd let you live some more, so that I could kill you right before your parent's eyes" 'Tis a pity, the Innocence agreed, since most likely those inferior humans would't bat an eye. They'd either rejoyce the boy's death, or use it to their advantage to flee or worse, join the forces of the Earl. It already knew that they didn't hesitate to use any methods. They even attempted to sell the boy to a brothel, but they said no customer would want him. But back to topic, it didn't have time to forsake those fools, it had to act so that its lovely Host would survive. He was already choking pretty bad. "Well it's not like it matters, since you'll die here and now."

Quickly it had to activate, it had to protect the little Master. But the child couldn't synchronize, he had no energy at all. If it activated now when the boy was starved to half-death he'd definitely die. What should it do?! The beast opened its maw ready to attack! Damn. There was no helping it. It must be activated!

Just as the Innocence made up its mind arrows tore through the Level 2's body. The Akuma in its surprise let go of its victim, accidentally grazing the boy's cheek in the process. The Innocence recognised the familiar presence of a sibling.

Not much later a black-clad man arrived. He stole a glance at the boy on the ground and cursed. "Damn, the kid's done for." he muttered then ran off acting as a bait. Nedless to say the excited Akuma followed him, completely forgetting about the child. The boy didn't understand what the man meant first, but then he saw black pentagrams appear on his skin. The pentagrams expanded over his skin, until his skin turned completely black.

The Innocence was quick to act. The cross lit up, emitting a bright green glow that seemed to flow in the child, making the bloodvessels visible to the naked eye. Slowly the poison was sucked inside the Innocence, making the boy's skin pale again.

The boy wanted to stand up, but collapsed to the ground. Unbeknownst to him, the Innocence swapped a lot of energy to heal him.

"Impossible...An Accomodator?" the child snapped his head up only to see the man that was trapped in the monster's clutches. Because of the fight the Akuma and Exorcist pulled the lights went out so it couldn't see the features of the man.

The Innocence tensed up, something was seriously wrong with this man. Even though he was attacked by the Akuma, he showed no sign of being poisoned. Also, it couldn't feel the presence of Innocence in him. But there was something, a very faint, familiar scent.

_Don't tell me..._It thought horrified as it stimulated its Host's fear center. They had to get away from this guy NOW.

He was approaching them. The boy tried to stand up but he collapsed again.

He panicked when he spotted a glinting blade in the man's hand. He tried to crawl away, but the man crouched down and grabbed him by his leg. With one swift move he yanked the child back, so he was facing him and rose the knife as he spoke. To the Innocence's terror, it transformed into a familiar black broadsword. The sword of the Millenium Earl. "I'm sorry kid." the man said, but didn't sound apologetic at all. "But I must carry out my Master's wishes. You have something at you he needs. You were just unlucky to meet me. No hard feelings 'kay?" The boy and Innocence screamed when the broadsword tore trough the child's small chest. The man was quick to cover the boy's mouth with his hand.

Blackish purple light erupted and invaded the body of the trashing child. _No! NO! _The Innocence tried to repel the invading Dark Matter, but it was too fast. It reached the boy's very core, tearing his molecules apart then rearranging them, while some kind of data got ingraved in the boy's brain.

As soon as the assault started it ended. The black broadsword returned to its dagger form and fell to the ground along with the man who wielded it. The boy panted hard as he scrambled out of arm's reach. However, when he spotted that the man was unmoving he stopped. Then something unexpected happened. Pentagrams appeared on his skin. It seems that he was hit by the Dark Matter too and now he will perish.

_Good. If he aids the destruction of mankind he deserves no mercy. _On top of that it wasn't going to forgive what he did with its Accomodator. Whatever he did.

But it seemed that the boy had different ideas. Seeing the man lying face down – even if he was attacked by him – he approached the man, putting his hand on him. "Err, he-hello?" he asked uncertainly as he tried to shake the unresponsive man awake. He didn't know that it was futile. "M-Mr. Human? A-are you alright?"

"Hey! What are you doing over there?!"

The boy snapped his head back to see a man in sleepwear and a petrol lamp. Behind him was a woman, probably his wife and a girl around its Accomodator's age.

"I-" the boy tried to explain himself, but flinched when his attacker crumbled under his small hand. The specators let out a gasp of fear. "He killed him! Mary, take Liza in the house! Quickly! Call the police!"

"What's this noise out there?!" another irritated voice asked. Lights flared up in the neighbours' window as they groggily but curiously glanced outside.

"He killed him!" the man repeated as he pointed at the boy. "I saw it! He put his hand on him, then his skin became black and eventually he crumbled right before my eyes!"

"That little freak?"

"What just like that?"

"What? That little monster possesses such force?"

"Will he kill us too?"

"A demon! It must be it!"

The more these hateful remarks accumulated, the more the tension grew in the crowd the more the child felt himself on edge. Yes, ever since he's been born he's been balancing on a hairstrand, over a bottomless pit of fear and despair. Since he posed no actual threat the citizens tolerated – ignored – him. They didn't want to end up in hell for killing something... something. However, to the Innocence's worst predictions, they seemed to have fund the perfect excuse to get rid of the child.

Sensing the dread of the other entity inside him, the boy – forgetting his tiredness, hunger and near-death experience – sprung to his feet and ran as fast as his small feet brought him.

"It escapes! Don't let it get away!" someone in the mop screamed as he ran after the boy, the others following him. As the Innocence's Host navigated to the small forest, the crowd swelled. They lit torches and grabbed scythes, hoes, pickaxes and prongs to "defend themselves".

The young Apostle passed the dead trees and the lake, the only comfort he had in his forsaken childhood, determined to escape this nightmare. However, he had to stop, the land ended and under him the river of Thames blocked his path. The boy frantically panted as he looked around for a place to run to or a place to hide to. Unfortunately, his tormentors were quick to catch up.

"Surround it! Don't let it flee!"

"Finally we can put an end to this!"

"At last the this curse maybe lifted!"

The pursuers were closing in on him, forcing him to retreat backwards on the small land. The ground was soft from the lot rain, so it easily slipped under the child's small weight. Feeling dread fill his senses as he fell, he quickly shot his hand out and grabbed the root of a dead tree. The water was running wildly under him as he dangled mid-air.

The boy looked back up to see his father looking down on him. He reached his small hand out to him, in hopes of finally being saved from this hell. Istead he had a gun pointed at him. A lump formed in the child's throat. For the first time ever since he was born his father smiled.

Gunshot rang through the dead forest and a small bleeding body got swallowed by the waves.

* * *

><p>I know I'm worse than Stephen Spielberg hunting dinosaurs, dragons, unicorns and Bambi's Mother, or Simba's Father. Please don't kill me. R&amp;R&amp;F&amp;F. Thank you.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Symbiosis

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes. Allen-emotional-torture.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen

Rating: T

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

A/N: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews :)

Fruitloop-chan: yea, a cliffhanger cliffhanger... I'm awful... Well, originally that man is not meant to be Neah, but a servant of his. You know Neah Walker's original name was Neah Campbell, a Lord or an Earl, I suppose – since they had a huge mansion. And that mark, that sits in the Ark's music lyrics, is the family crest. It was on Mana's cuffs too, that's how Allen found out that Mana had to do something with the Ark and the Noah.

Guest: yep those guys are loons. But did I accidentally call them villagers instead of townspeople? Sorry for the mistake... Those guys live in East End, the gutter of London... That's why the forest is dead too, it's heavily polluted.

Snipperita: I'm glad you liked them. One last with similar concept I know of is "I am Walker!". That's a little semi-AU though.

Kiki: Sorry to disappoint you but that guy was not Nea. You know Cross said he died 35 years ago and he's been searching for the host for 30. So I think there was someone before Nea, who preserved the memories, and when he found the perfect host – a human being wielding an Innocence, so that this time he could surely kill the Earl. As for the pairings, I like those too, but not in some stories it feels so forced. I like friendship fics, the best I read so far was **The clown in your dreams**. Characters are perfectly captured, feelings are displayed, it's funny and dramatic at the same time. It was the first time I cried reading a fic.

Kanrei: Good phylosophical question. Thank you for the compliment :)

Also, sorry for my tardiness, my uni is 150 km (~93,2 miles) away. I had to move to an apartment nearby and right now I'm in search of a roommate to cut expenses somewhat, so things are pretty hectic here. I hope by September things'll go smoother. Until then here's chapter 4 for you.

Chapter 4 – Sinking in despair, drowning in hate

The filthy water of the Thames flowed with great speed. After many days and nights of heavy downpours the river overflowed its course and washed away dirt, branches, bushes and even uprooted some trees. Because of the mud (and the inustrial wastes) the water was coloured to an ugly shade of grime-brown.

Suddenly a small head broke through the uneven surface of the water. He sputtered and gasped, taking in as much oxigen as he could, meanwhile he reached out to grab onto an uprooted tree. The water was tossing and turning him, but he always fought his way back to the surface. Something inside him was thumping through his veins, screaming at him to not give up.

Eventually the boy was thrown over the railing of the dam thanks to the unusually great flood. The boy pushed himself on his knees and coughed out the water he accidentally sucked in his lungs. After somewhat composing himself the boy straightened up. It seems he was still in London's East End, but in a more populated area.

He had no idea what time it was, his inner clock was messep up from today's events. The moon was already high and the streets were empty, so he assumed a rough 2-3 am.

The boy raised his right hand over his left shoulder. Fortunatelly, the bullet only grazed his left shoulder. His father was drunk so his aim was off. The shot and the following pain startled him, that's why he let go. He was lucky that it pierced his already malfunctioning left arm, if he had shot his right, he wouldn't have been able to survive. By now only a dull pain remained. Unbeknownst to the boy, his Innocence was blocking the signs of pain, and with its undevelopped feathers it woved a pin in the boy's skin, so he wouldn't bleed out.

But what now? He had nowhere to go. He was alone, abandoned and so horribly lonely. He lowered his head to hide his tears. Was he such a bad child that his parents didn't want him? He knew that for some reason they were angry at him, but going as far as killing him? Did he do something bad to incur their wrath? Is that why they neglected, then abandoned him? Is that why they turned their backs on him? Is that why they attacked him? Is that why they abused him? Is that why they tried to kill him? Their own flesh and blood? All because of his strange arm?

Silent tears streamed down on his bruised cheeks. He has long ago learned to keep his sorrow to himself, wallowing seemed to attract more trouble in the form of beatings. Crying was a weakness, if he didn't hide it he would be taken advantage of.

Inside of the young Accomodator, the Innocence desperately tried to soothe its little Master. It wasn't overly persistent, just made sure to make its presence obvious: it radiated warmth from the back of the boy's mind. Unfortunately it did nothing to mend the child's broken heart.

It was infuriated. First being branded as a demon, then being neglected – not to mention abused – and now banishing a child from his so-called home. He was seen as a burden, a curse, just an obsticle that they needed to be rid of... Hunted by bloodlust-driven lowlives as if he was some kind of animal. It was utterly unacceptable. It wished it could activate or snap at them to prove the presence of the Holy Spirit in its young Apostle, but it knew – and feared – that it would only make things worse. These morons would accuse him of witchcraft and would torture-kill the boy.

Over anything, it hated the fact that such a young boy had already faced the fear of death.

The sun rose over the horizon, illuminating a small and wet figure at the river bank. His unkept auburn hair hid his eyes. His tears already dried when he glanced at the sunrise with a sober, grim expression. How many times will he see the sun rise?

He felt so pathetic. Worrying over his life, when he had nothing to live for... Maybe he should just give up... Just disappear... Leave the cruel world behind.

He turned back to the river, watching the even wilder waves. A small fist tightened over the cold railing. If those waves swallowed him, he'd never resurface again.

At this thought a small twingle of electricity shot in his left arm, making it twitch lightly. The boy turned his surprised eyes at his left hand. With the help of his right hand he raised the limp limb to his face. Thin fingers danced over the rough surface of the red skin and the sensitive area where that black cross was burned into.

He wanted to know why. What was this? Why was it him who beared it? Why was HE of all people chosen?

He bit his lips harshly and squeezed the skin. It made him see sparks. Those brilliant silver orbs that displayed pain, sadness and loneliness dulled. As if the steams of emotions were abruptly forced behind a massive dam of those hurtful feelings and steadily growing anger. He began to hate, thinking that the burning anger may evaporate this choking sorrow.

The Innocence felt the hate directed at it, but it didn't mind. It had its part in derailing the child's fate. Although the pain it put its Wielder through made him guilty, it couldn't back out now. The boy's sacrifice would be meaningless and the force of the Heart would decrease again – not to mention that it would return to dust again. Even though the boy hated it, even though it felt such pain that puts its destruction by a Noah to shame – it wondered if humans referred to this feeling as a heartbreak? – … As long as he hated he had a reason to live. If he has a reason to live, he'll undoubtly survive and banish that horrible thought of suicide to the darkest depth of his mind... On his way his reason can be changed. One day, when the child would be old enough to understand his – no their – mission, it could finally convey everything to him.

That's right. He cannot be held back. There's so much to do. There's no time to cry, there's no time to feel. There's no time to love.

Now, that the last bits of protection was gone, he was completely open and vulnerable to the world's threats. It was only a matter of time before he's caught. The only way to escape is to grow up and get strong, he had no time to waste, if he dawdles he'll be found and get killed.

So what if those two were gone? It's not as if he'd miss those useless guys. Up until now he basically lived independently by himself, he wouldn't miss them. Now it's official. If they didn't need him, then he wouldn't need them. He'll run and hide – too weak to fight – till time was up and the tables were turned. Yes, there would be a time when HE was the stronger and THEY were the weaker, ever shoved in fear.

With new determination to continue his existence, the boy disappeared into an alley to start the his new life in another hell.


	5. Chapter 5

Symbiosis

Ok, first of all, I'd like to apologize for disappearing of the radar for the past weeks, I just returned from my family vacation and now I'm in the middle of moving back to the city where my uni is (I moved home for the summer). Oh yea and apart from a futon I have no furniture at all, so I'm writing lying on my stomach and typing – which is pretty uncomfortable by the way, but everything for you guys. I hope you'll still like this chapter too.

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

A/N.: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

Thor94: No, this is not a DarkAllen fic, this will eventually follow the original story line, sorry if I got your hopes up, but I do plan to write one, that's Dark!Allen, more than one actually. One of them will have Dark!CrownClown. ;) I don't know yet if the two of them will meet.

Kanrei: Yup, lil' Allen, just like Kanda, is in search of answers. He won't die 'til he finds them.

Kiki: I'm actually very glad to have such an eager reviewer, your comments always make my day :) Do keep this habit of yours :D I'm too confused about that stuff with Allen, how did he become young again? Is this some kind of timetravel thingy or somehow the time after he turned 7 disappeared? Could that be the answer, that Allen is the Destroyer of Time? Regretfully we'll still have to wait for update :'( I was told that for some reason – I think because her chapters were too long – she got in a fight then broke up with JumpSQ. Right now she's in search of a new publisher and in the middle of recruiting a team to help her(those are usually granted by the publisher, but she wants her own so this won't happen again.). To be honest I haven't thought about a reunion with his parents. I don't think that'll happen, sorry :(

Chapter 5: Empty, busy streets

Throbbing pain pierced the boy's skull as he groggily woke up. He raised his hand up to nurse the pained area, only to find his hair sticky. He didn't need to look at it to know it was blood. Slowly, to do not get a dizzy fit, he raised himself on all fours. He blinked, clearing his vision, to take in his environments. Firstly he felt a cold weight on his ankle. He glanced at it to confirm that it was a cuff attached to a chain. Next he noticed that he was sitting on cold stone, and that he was enclosed by bars. A cage.

When his vision returned to somewhat normal he slowly looked around. It seemed he was in some kind of basement, since he saw no windows, and the only entrance/exit was a massive iron gate. The whole place was illuminated by candles. There were other humans, children in there. Some was crying, others simply looked utterly defeated; some of them were already dead.

He bit his lip in fear and disgust and cursed his luck. This was a den of humantraffick. Correction, childtraffic.

How did he end up here? The last thing he remembered was fighting a straydog for a piece of meat then the dog suddenly retreated. He found it highly degrading to fight an animal, but food such as meat was very rare to find. Living alone with no income or constant shelter meant that he didn't have the luxury to _choose _what to eat, he devoured simply everything ebidle he found.

He had believed that it was his victory, but a piercing pain proved that this was not true. Fuck, when he was about to actually eat after days of hunger. How was he supposed to survive not to mention escape from here?

Suddenly the iron doubledoors creaked open and two man came in. One of them carried a huge saucepan with a ladle sticking out of it, the other simply held a metal horn.

"Evening sniveling brats." the one with the horn sneered at the whimpering children. "Fro' now on we are ya masters. Ya shut the fuck up 'n' do what we're tellin' you. Ya'll noone, ya'll nothing, ya'll jus' possession. Ain't noone searches for ya neither gives a rats ass if ya die. Da rules 'r simple. If ya don' get sold for slave ya'll be whores. If ain't anyone wanna fuck ya in a week, then we'll dispose o' ya. Pray whateva god ya b'lieve in to avoid dat." He stepped next to the cage where a child cowered. He opened the cage and yanked the poor girl out of the cage, who was paralysed from fear. He roughly shoved the piece of mestal in her mouth, while the other poured a spoonful of food(?), making her almost choke. "Don't dare ya spill it ya damn bitch! Now da next one!"

The boy knew better than to mouth back when his captor forcefed him. He was smaller and weaker than the man, and while he might be faster he wouldn't get far with that damn chain confining him. Though it was ironic and quite annoying that he had better living conditions captured.

He had to think of a way to get away, since it was quite unlikely that anyone would want him with his freakish arm. A few times he tried to tag along with other homeless orphans like him, but he was always refused. He learned quickly that his arm attrackted the abuse so he always wrapped it up with rags he found.

After finishing the feeding of the children the two man retreated, the metal doors creaked closed as they left. The nameless Apostle waited for a while seeing if they returned. A good ten or fifteen minutes later his mercury orbs inspected the room more carefully. There had to be a way out other than the door – it was probably guarded. Even if there were none of them here – they probably assumed that the cage was impossible to escape – there might be on the outside. Better look for an alternative way.

Though the walls were cracked the stone wall was massive, he saw no loose piece. _Maybe if he could take a closer look... _But he had no time for that, he couldn't dig himself out in one week. But he had to find a way, since he was 100 percent sure that noone would buy him for any reasons.

Something snapped above him and he followed the sound. He scooted closer to the bars and looked at the ceiling from where the sound came from. There was a huge chandelier hanging above them, unlike the candelabra on the floor it seemed to be functioning by electricity. A bulb must have snapped. Electricity had to be let in via a hole so maybe...

The metal doors flied open again to reveal the two previous captors, who now seemed to carry a cage that was fixed on a small car or carriage or whatever it was, it didn't matter to him. "K ya little shits we're goin' to the market where hopefully we can make some money out o' ya."

He pointed a gun he pulled out of his pants, pointing at the kids as a warning, while the other opened the doors – and undid the cuffs – so they could move the children.

The boy obediently followed the orders but from the corner of his eyes he carefully watched the two. He had to find out their weaknesses, so he could steal the key or a piece of wire to pick the lock, then hopefully make a run for it.

XXX

The young Accomodator didn't see a thing from the blanket that hid the cage – and inside that him – from public eye, but he knew that they were somewhere in the outskirts of London, he recognized the stink. He also knew that it was evening, since the air was gradually getting chillier.

He heard some unfamiliar voices, probably customers', but none of them actually peeked in his cage. He also noticed that he was the only one in a cage alone – his captors probably thought he might infect the others with a disease that made him like that. But maybe that's better, he didn't want to watch the others' pathetic faces.

Suddenly he heard voices very close on his left.

"Imma tellin' you he's a though little brat. He fought with a dog twice 'is size 'n' then I practically had to smash mai bottle on 'is head b'fore 'e passed out."

The other hmped. "Very well, let's take a look at him."

The blanket was carefully lifted to reveal a serious looking stuffy man next to his grinning captor. Unlike the captor, whose clothes were torn here and there the clothes were somewhat well-kept. The man eyed him up and down, in the end his eyes glued to the boy's covered left hand. ""Why is he bandaged? I won't buy damaged products." _Go shove your products and your ugly clothes along with your fucking irritating voice up in your arse you motherfucking %* #+! _

"'e ain't got no problem." the man assured as he roughly grabbed the Apostle's left and yanked off the bandages to reveal the Cross ebbed in his skin. The customer looked mildly disgusted but didn't push the matter. "He will do, with that arm of his he'll be perfect for a freak show."

Innocence and Host felt disgusted alike but kept silent. This man would save the Accomodator from the hassle of escaping the clutches of humsntraffic and that's all that mattered.

Once he was free, he followed his new owner. He looked around to see armed man following him with their eyes. _If he made a run for it like he originally wanted he'd be surely dead. _He swallowed the bile back when he saw a girl not much older than him lying on the ground with her skull smashed. She's been dead for a while since flies were busy around her. _Must be rotting already, _he thought; in the outskirts a mutilated corpse of a child wasn't rarity. Apparently he wasn't the only one trying. His mouth felt bittersweet from the thought that his despised deformity,the freakish arm as everyone referred to it, that ruined his life actually saved him.

The Innocence buried inside him felt the boy's anger and hate directed towards it. But who could blame him? It did have its part in its beloved misery. _I know that you hate me, but I won't leave you. I won't let go of you. I know that I caused you much pain – too much for someone so young. I know that I made your life hell, but I promise that I'll lead your way out of there. I'll teach you how to summon me, how to use me. I will never ever leave you. I'll stay by your side and protect you until the very end._


	6. Chapter 6

Symbiosis

So after gods know how long I disappeared the sleep-deprived me decided to launch a new chapter for my lovely readers.

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

A/N.: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

Responses to the lovely reviews:

OneDayPineapple: Well in the sense that right now Allen is resentful towards humans in general you can interpret it as a DarkAllen moment, however, the meeting with Mana and a mistake Allen made – or will make – led to his change of attitude.

Thor94: I think that when Cross mentioned "The Mask of Mana" he meant exactly this. Allen feels terrible after reviving, then destroying Mana. He can't forgive himself for this mistake, that's why to ease his guilt he tries to save people.

Yaissa-chan: From your words I interpreted: 'This is beautiful, get it updated soon, I'd like to read more, and sorry, my English is lousy'. Don't worry about your English, as long as you understand what I write I think it's okay. Thank you for your support.

Kiki:Yea, I ended up like that too, just the time I got addicted it stopped :/.

Ok I'm sure I confused a lot of you, the past I made up until now was what I thought might have happened to Allen. In the -man: Reverse series, third volume: Lost Fragments of Snow, some of Allen's past is revealed, to be accurate the time he met Mana. I don't know if it's a big spoiler alert, but it was mentioned that Allen was bought by the Ringmaster. This chapter will prepare the meeting of Mana and Red.

Chapter 6

Thunderous applause broke the silence. The performers bowed one last time to the audience and retreated from the dazzling spotlight behind the thick red curtains. They chattered cheerfully among each other, today was succesfull as well. They didn't bother looking in the dark corner. Noone looked _him _in the eye.

At that cold part a boy was sitting on the freezing floor, strongly concentrating on polishing the tools the performers used. As if he was trying to rub off the frustration of himself – those guys really pissed him off. He was young and alone, he didn't even have a proper name, he was only referred to as 'Red'. God, how he despised it – the name and the associated crimson colour as well. It was the colour of death and agony, the dull and piercing, both physical and emotional pain he keeps experiencing because of his wrinkled – _useless – _ red arm.

He clamped the red rings between his legs, and continued to scrub them with his right hand, while supporting it with the left. He's in a hurry, he still has to wash the knives and sheets – a person doing odd jobs can never rest, especially if he's practically a slave.

The most humiliating past is that he doesn't even needs chains to stay here, he's got nowhere else to go. He tried running away in the first weeks, but he was found every time and beaten up as punishment. With the last one they went overboard – he still shudders when he looks at the scar stretching on his thigh.

Though this time his body was shaking for another reason, it was unusually cold in London(yea, they were back again in this wretched hellhole), the thin fabric of the tent didn't help much either. In order to gain some warmth, he exhailed his breath on his frozen hands. He, then, moved his small hands to his shoulders to rub some life in them – unfortunately his oversized clothes did little to keep him warm. But there was something inside him, some alien feeling that made his body burn up, as if fire was circulating in his veins. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, but the fact that this made him stand out from "normal" frightened him.

"You're still the same, so frustrated and hot tempered!" Red raised his head to glance at the familiar face without stopping his work. It was Cosimo, a clown of the circus. He didn't see his facial from the heavy make-up, but he did recognize the malicious glint in his eyes. "Every time I see your face I lose motivation." Red's throat constructed. This happened often, it reminded him of – _No! Don't think of them! They betrayed me, get over it!_ He knew what was coming, but he refused to show weakness to this bastard.

Cosimo kicked him in the stomach, making the small flung back easily. "You and your disgusting arm!" he spat, continuing the assault on the child. "Not only it's filthy it's not moving eh? How can such a useless fellow like you manage to stay here?!" Red balled his small hands in a fist. Burning cold wrath swelled in his chest. Like hell his will would be broken this easily, after all that he had to endure. The only ones who have the right to take his life-

Unable to contain his hatred his eyes fill up with hatred. Upon noticing it Cosimo's smirk faltered. "What's up with you and that arrogant look?" Cosimo changed the angle and aimed for the boy's chest, making him gasp from pain. It's been always like that, attacking places where the damage is not visible. "What are you saying, huh? You piece of trash?!" Red grit his teeth in pain. He mustn't scream. He mustn't cry. He mustn't beg for mercy neither for forgiveness. For who? For the cruel world that abandoned him? Noone would come anyway. This is the only way of rebelling.

He knew the reason for today's beating, it was bacause of the new clown that arrived. The rookie was much more talented, he quickly stole away his popularity. For one who always wanted to be the best this was hard to swallow. Red could only feel contepmt for the man who kept trying to break him.

After a kick in the face he hit his head as he was flunged back, crashing in the props.

"What is this noise!" the Ringmaster's booming voice kept Red from passing out. "Cosimo did something happen?"

"That bastard was lazing around. For the future of the circus I needed to teach him a lesson!" he said proudly to the ringmaster, as if he was flattering him. Red wanted to oppose but even breathing hurt like hell, he probably had his ribs cracked if not broken. Not that it mattered, the ringleader never listened to him anyway. His owner turned his cold eyes at him.

"Seriously, not only you make no money at all, you slack off. Forget about dinner tonight." he hissed as he hauled the boy up. "Who was the one who took you in with no memories and ugly look?"

No memories... Yes, he lied that... He whished it to be true... he really did. Although it wasn't a complete lie. He didn't remember much, only fragments, he was too young to remember correctly. He couldn't even recall the face of his own parents. But he did remember that he was sad and lonely. He remembered the pain of hunger burning his shrinked stomach, the humiliating beatings, the feeling of being unwanted. Also a burning anger that just wouldn't subside, instead it kept expanding.

He couldn't put a finger on it why but he sometimes recalled a dead forest and a statue of an angel's torso. Somehow thinking on that calmed him and cleared his mind. Also dulled the burning.

Though this time his cheek burned from another reason. He didn't bother holding his abused cheek where the ringmaster slapped him. Yea right, he was being humiliated _again._

"Who was it that gave you a place to live and job hm?" He knew that if he didn't answer he would he thrown out at best. Worst case scenario was being sent back to human traffic or get killed.

"...It was you."

"Who was the one who refused to go on the stage to perform and insisted on doing odd jobs hmm?"

"...Me."

The rigmaster nodded in satisfaction. "Don't forget that, I spent a lot of money on you. You should at least earn the money back I have spent on you! No more slacking!" he ordered and left with a humming Cosimo in tow. Other onlookers were quick to leave too, they didn't want to get involved. Red was left alone again.

After an unknown amount of time the abdominal pains lessened to bearable, he could shakily get up without collapsing. Noone cared for him, but it was alright, he didn't need anyone, didn't whish to care for anyone. Unbeknownst to him there was someone who did care for him, diligently working on repairing the broken muscles, tendons and cracks on bones. This was the least, really.

Red put the red rings back where they belonged, then left the tent. The outside was a calming colour of silver due to the drifting snow. His small feet sunk in the snow as he ventured. In a few minutes the cold air chilled him to the bone, but he didn't stop. He hated this place and wanted to leave, but he had nowhere to go. He whished to be free, but also whished for a place to belong.

He remembered trying to fit in, trying to make friends, but in the minute they saw his arm he was exiled again. The constant rejection felt like knives being stabbed in his heart.

Red jumped back when he felt something nudge his ugly left hand. It was a dog with clown ring around its neck – meaning it was one of the circus troop member's –, holding a ball in its maw. There was a mischievous glint in its eyes as it wagged its tail. Red finally realised what the dog wanted. He wanted to play. Well, it's not like he had anything to lose.

He reached his right hand out to the dog, who let go of the wall, so it fell in Red's hand. Red swung his arm back and threw the ball as hard as he could. The dog's eyes lit up and without hesitation it rushed after the ball. Red's eyes widened in wander as the dog caught the ball midair. The dog happily skipped in front of him, tail wagging in earnest, and placed the ball at the boy's feet.

Something inside him shifts, the gawking hunger dulled, he realized that despite the freezing cold his chest felt warm. As if the whishes and desires he locked away behind thick walls of anger and hatred melted somewhat. It felt good; he felt _alive._

He grasped onto the feeling and continued to throw the ball away every time the dog vrought it back. First he found himself smiling, then laughing joyously. He never felt this way before. Long forgotten feelings bubbled up as he continued to play with the canine. Was this the feeling humans called happiness?

The entity residing inside him rejoyced the growing feelings. Finally its lonely, so very lonely and pained host found a sparkle of happiness in the form of a new troup member. Its child was lively. Yes, it found itself referring to the boy as its own, since it was the one who stayed by his side, even before the beginning. There was no denying it, it grew really attached to the boy, even though they never really cooperated, and the communication was one-sided, not to mention very few of the messages reached Red. Though Red's last statement left it in distress. Red classified himself apart from humans?

When the playful urge of the dog was sated it jogged to Red and started nundging him lightly. Unable to contain his giddyness, Red reached out and stroked the head of the pet, without realising what he was doing. The dog let out very pleased sounds. Encoured by them, Red unconsciously reached out with his left, not even noticing that there wasn't any resistance. When the familiar burnt red flesh and green cross embbed to it came in his vision he fearfully snatched his hands back, right one tightening around the disfigured. The fear he learned to feel upon seeing that hand rushed through him without mercy.

The dog feeling the boy's distress approched him. Fearing that the creature might bite him he took a step back, as he did so he tripped on a rock hidden under the snow and fell on his butt. The dog started whining and wagged its tail slowly, as if saying, I won't hurt you. It scooted closer and Red closed his eyes preparing himself from the pain. He could only hope that this dog won't hurt him enough to pass out, he'd surely die lying in the snow.

Instead of sharp canines sinking in his flesh, he felt something wet and warm garze his abused cheek. The boy gasped, taken aback by the odd comforting. Seeing that the creature didn't plan on attacking him, Red stood back on his shaky legs.

"You're a strange one." he commented as he swept the snow off his clothes before it melted. Pneumonia was not something he looked forward to.

He was brushing the snow off his left shoulder when the dog padded to his left. Instantly he froze, dreading the dog's reaction.

The shaky breath he didn't know he held left his lugs at the display. The clown dog licked his ugly, deformed red hand. Red was so surprised he didn't react when the clown dog nuzzled its head to the rough texture of his skin. A choked sob treathened to leave his lips. Although this time not from pain or despair, but pure relief. This canine didn't hurt him, even though it saw his abomination, it accepted him without hesitation. Tears pickled the corner of his eyes, he couldn't believe it, didn't dare to believe that someone overlooked his shame.

The dog continued whining, thinking that it worsened the situation. Red gave a friendly pat on its head with a small smile – god, he haven't smiled in years. Except maybe that one time when Cosimo dropped the props on his own legs. Of course he was beaten to half-death for laughing out loud, but it was totally worth it. Though this was different, this was genuine. "I'm alright. Thanks."

Sensing that the boy cheered somewhat up the clown dog continued to wag its tail in earnest. It once again picked up the forgotten ball and placed it in Red's hands and rested its nose close, staring at red with its big brown eyes. Even though no words were spoken and heck, they weren't even the same species, Red understood the message.

"Same time tomorrow, right here." he whispered, a small smile pulling at his lips. "Goodnight." he said then the two parted.

Red reentered the main tent to scrub the ball clean; Cosimo would surely complain if there was even a speck of dirt on it. Being in the horrible moodhe was in lately, another harsh beating would surely end him. He pushed that thought back to the deep recesses of his mind. He didn't want to think about that bastard, he'd rather concentrate on the dog, who made him forget the hunger and pain.

He let out a yawn as he put the ball back to its place. A small smile crossed his face. For the first time in a long while he couldn't wait for the next day.

Aaaaaand cut! I know I'm evil, but this chapter was longer than usual. So please continue the beloved habit of R&R&F&F! I love you all!


	7. Chapter 7

EEEEHHH? Only three reviews? You guys don't love me anymore? Or did the quality drop this much? T^T And for those who did:

yaissa-chan: With the help of Uncle Google I managed to understand what you wrote – sorry I don't speak Spanish, I learned French as a second language, and Chinese as third. Don't worry about Allen, now he'll finally meet Mana. :)

Kanrei: yep, Hoshino just loves to torture her characters and drive them into insanity. I personally think that our Allen darling is not 100% :'(

thor94: I'm sorry, I don't understand completely what you're trying to say, not only English is not my mother tongue, I'm an idiot too. Allen knowing that his arm is a weapon? (I think this is what you wanted to ask). Maybe you meant chappie 4, when he felt the incomplete Crowned Clown tingle him? Feeling it as a separate being? Well, while he knows that the cross in him is inhuman, he doesn't know yet what it means :)

Though thanks for the question, now flipping through the old chappies I realise that I unconsciously slipped into Red's POV, sorry about that, I'll try to direct it back to Crowned Clown :) This chapter is actually the mix of the two.

Is this a sign that I should carry on and write something original? But I love Semi-AUs :'(. Maybe I should start another story besides this one?

Or maybe because it rather Allen POV than Crowned Clown POV?

Either way I hope this chapter will satisfy you. This one will be pretty long.

Summary: Symbiosis: cohabitation of two entities, that is beneficial to both participants. Allen hated that his Innocence was referred to as parasite – he prefers to call their relationship symbiosis. After all power comes at a price. And that price is time. Events from Crown Clown's POV.

Warning: violence, swearing, grammatical mistakes.

Pairings: none intended but can be interpreted as Crown ClownXAllen or EveryoneXAllen. Though that's still far away.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

A/N.: length of chapters are uneven, sorry about that, I hope it won't ruin the experience.

Chapter 7

The next day the young Apostle handed out the breakfast to the ungrateful troop members while the dog from yesterday followed him. The boy smiled despite the fact that he had to run away from a very pissed off Cosimo, because he wasn't the first one having his food delivered. Red ran away, he was sure that if he got beaten up that would surely end him. As he continued his chores the dog followed him.

Red spared it a glance then continued the chores a little faster. If he finished early he might play with it more. He wants to be close to it. The elation he felt when he played with the dog replayed itself in his mind over and over. It was the first time in his life that he felt maybe he could feel happy after all.

Determined to finish quickly he folded the washed sheets, not even realising how much better he could use his infected arm. The other presence in him however noticed that the boy's eagerness eased the rejection. It seemed that the positive thinking and warm feelings made Red forget about his difference a little. He didn't even realise two members of the troop pass behind him.

"Strange? What happened to the acrobat?"

"Oh, him? He resigned yesterday."

Red halted his movements and clenched his teeth. It was difficult to say when a member leaves. The dog's owner too, will probably leave one day. He would not see it again. He stole a small glance at the dog who sat on the ground, its big eyes boring into him. Something warm gushed out from the depth of his soul, he felt very warm inside.

He tore his gaze away from the dog. He can't get close to it. The dog and its owner will leave him behind one day. The thought felt like cold knives being thrusted in his chest. Once it leaves it will only increase his feeling of loneliness.

Red ignored the dog for the rest of the day - he feared that if he looked at it he would break down and cry. Even then, the dog kept following him.

* * *

><p>Red stumbled back, letting out a surprised yelp when a hard object came in contract with his face. Cosimo angrily tore the wig off his head and threw it on the floor.<p>

"Drat!" he cursed. "It's because it slipped from my hand! Having been touched by such a dirty hand of course the ball becomes dirty! It's all your fault!"

Red masked his disgust with cold indifference, the other entity in his battered body sharing the sentiment. Blaming his own fault on an object, really people knew no shame these days.

Lately the clown has been really angry, another clown arrived who was better than him. The dog's owner. Red refused the urge to smirk, it'd only make things worse.

Even if he had smiled it would have withered under the intense glare Cosimo assaulted him with. He understood that look, he's going to be badly beaten up again. He didn't dare to make a run for it again, that would only make things worse. And no one would protect him. No one bothered to waste time on something as troublesome as him. The Innocence in him was ready to catch the signals of pain so that the little master's distress would be eased somewhat.

However it seemed Cosimo had different plans for now. "You seem really close to that dog."

Red felt like as if his empty stomach has jumped up to his throat. What did he want with it? "D-dog?" he asked back uncertainly.

"The stupid mutt that keeps following you." he confirmed. "Now listen, you mustn't tell it to anyone." He took up a pouch, that rested on his bed and shoved it in Red's bruised hands. The contents felt sharp and cold through the clothe.

Wait. Sharp and cold?

_No, it can't be..._

Red's heart skipped a beat when his fears were confirmed. They were tiny shards of glass. "Mix this in the dog's food." he ordered with a cruel glint in his eyes.

Red felt his insides shake. This man was serious about killing for his own personal gain.

But... but...

"But-" he was silenced by a harsh slap delivered to his bruised lips. His split lip reopened. _Fantastic._

"No nonsense from you! It'll be fine until you do as long as I say, you useless brat!"

He lied. Everyone would know that Red did it. And he'd be more than happy to put the blame on him, he'd kill two birds with one stone – literally. If he did he'd be thrown out, or worse, get killed. But that's not it, that's not the reason why he doesn't want to.

He remembered it nudging him. He remembered playing with it. He remembered when unexpectedly it licked his hand in a weak moment of his. He remembered how warm it felt, both his ugly hand and his chest. He remembered the tingling sensation that remained. It cared accepted him. The dog _cared _for him.

...He can't!

"...I won't!" he declared easily.

Cosimo blinked in surprise, then an angry flush spread on his face. "What?" From the tone Red knew that this didn't mean I-didn't-hear-right, it was a chance to kneel down like a worm and beg for forgiveness.

He'd never do such thing.

"I won't do such thing!" he repeated boldly as he threw the bag at Cosimo's feet. Cosimo ran his hand through his hair and let out an impatient exhale. Red braced himself for the pain.

As expected Cosimo kicked him in the stomach. Red collapsed with a groan, but Cosimo wasn't done, he continued to kick the fallen boy. But Red wouldn't give in, he wouldn't hurt someone who showed care for him. Something no one wanted. Something who's been branded as a monster, a freak who had to flee from the parents who wanted – and probably still – want to kill him.

And finally, after so much misery and humiliation he meant something to someone. And god, it felt so nice. Even if the dog left him, he couldn't betray it. He won't turn on the one who cared for him, he would never become like his parents who cracked under peer pressure.

He will never say yes, even if they kill him. His vision blurred.

The Innocence panicked when it felt Red's presence slip. If this went on he WILL die!

No they can't end like this, an Apostle can't go down like this, its precious boy cannot die! It felt so incompetent, its master was taking all this pain and it was powerless to stop it. It felt helpless, it briefly wondered if this is how non-Apostle humans felt facing an Akuma. It tried to force itself in Red's nervous system, so it could move the arm that housed it, but no matter how much it tried Red's mental and physical barriers were too strong. Someone who was slowly dying, enduring such agonies had to build walls to maintain some of his remaining sanity. His _parents – _the words felt like a spat – had seen to it. It cried out in frustration. No one was coming for Red's rescue.

'I am going to die.' it heard Red's disappearing voice. It felt that its Wielder was at his limit, any more and the damages will be permanent. _No! I can't, I won't, I need you, you are my-!_

Suddenly the Innocence felt a familiar presence, accompanied by angry barks. ..._It can't be!_

Red registered the sound of barking before he slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>The young Apostle groaned in pain as he woke up; since it took care of most of his injuries the Divine Substance let its Host awaken. Since it was much more powerful than its host it couldn't use all its power to heal its Master, fearing that it might do more damage. It never had a Host before so it had to be extremely careful. On top of that, the Host was only a child, his small body could be crushed under too much.<p>

Red remembered Cosimo taking him outdoors, trying to bully him into feeding the dog the shattered glass, getting beaten up rather harshly, thus pushed to the verge of dying – and then the sound of barking before he blacked out.

Despite the pain Red shot up into sitting position, eyes wide, the strange foggy feeling in his head cut in half by the cold realisation. The dog came to his rescue. In any other situation he would be elated, relieved and even happy to have finally someone who did care for him.

But not this time. Cosimo wanted to kill it.

He had a very bad feeling.

Ignoring the throbbing of his flesh, he dashed to the main tent as fast as his shaking legs could. Entering the tent, he crossed the backstage. He sighed in relief when he spotted the dog and its owner performing. Unlike himself, he remained and continued to watch the show also paying attention to the reactions of the audience. Their eyes too, were filled with light, they laughed until they fell over and wouldn't stop clapping. They were all absorbed in the show.

Being able to make the hateful crowd cheer must have been a really hard thing. The dog wagged its tail rapidly; it was so full of light, so bright...too bright. Red had to squint his eyes. The dog and the clown were loved by the crowd.

To him this was an incomprehensible thing; to love and being loved, this had nothing to do with him. Even though it was right in front of him, he couldn't touch it. It was as if he was forced behind a window, he could see everything, the things behind it were taunting him, but he could never ever touch anything.

A warm feeling rose in his chest. He tried to keep it down. It was pointless to feel. He who was neglected, abandoned and almost-killed by his parents, isolated by others because of this arm... It was clear as day. He could never join that velvety world of light. No matter how much he wants to believe it's alright to be alone, deep inside he was still longing. He wanted it too. He envied the ones who had it. He was unable to obtain it.

A familiar bark snapped him out of his thoughts. When he came to his senses he realised that he was crying. He started to panic as the dog approached him. His thoughts were on haywire and his emotions swirled uncontrollably. 'What should I do? What should I do?' The image of the dog and the brightness flashed up in his mind.

Before he realized what he was doing he cried. "Go away!" Something landed on the ground with a dull thud. Red's breath had gone away as he realised what he had just done. In fear he kicked the dog away. He hurt the one who cared for him. No, he didn't mean to! Without thinking he turned on his heel and dashed away. He kept running unable to control his emotions: envy, jealousy... He didn't know what to do anymore.

* * *

><p>Ever since that day the dog didn't visit him anymore. No surprise, Red sent it flying to the ground.<p>

It was better this way. He didn't feel that lonely, he was fine. He felt no pain. There was no point in getting attached to anyone in this cruel world. He kept trying to convince himself... However he just couldn't shake off the feeling that he had just lost something important.

As he entered the kitchen to wash the dishes he spotted the dog lying next to the heater. Concern flared in his chest. What was wrong, it didn't feel well?

He couldn't keep off the choking worry, he slowly approached it. He was extremely careful, the pain he unintentionally caused him to feel guilty.

He kneeled down next to the small creature. It was lying on its side, a coat covering him. It must be its owner's. Even though it was pretty old, Red could see that it was high quality. As it laid there broken it looked older and weaker and usual.

...Would it be alright to touch it? It could hate him already. Even though he felt uneasy he gently touched it. It did not move. As he gently started to stroke its side, the dog's eyes cracked open. It stood up and shook itself. Red didn't move as it stepped closer.

The Innocence felt a familiar warmth sweep over on its surface. It licked the Cross that everyone else was disgusted of. The otherworldly thing sent an equally warm message back to the canine. It was grateful, since the dog managed to bring some minutes of happiness in its Master's life. It felt the rushes of joy and relief coursing through the boy's body.

Red felt warm inside. He knew he had been forgiven. He continued to stroke the dog. "I-if you're healthy again, if you get well..." he whispered, as if he was reciting a prayer. He completely lost track of time.

Soon he was jolted out of his trance by the sound of bell ringing. It was a signal for the performers to gather, the show was starting. The dog gave one last lick to Red's hand then ran off to join its master.

Red remained kneeling on the ground as he watched it run. His right hand gently took its twin, holding it tenderly. If it's possible he wanted to touch it more.

* * *

><p>The sky was clear of clouds today, so Red was given the task of washing the sheets. Strangely he didn't see the dog today at all. However he did see the owner from where he was working. He was a strange one. He crouched next to the ground unmoving. Red found him strange, it was as if he was a puppet whose strings were cut. 'What is he doing?'<p>

Curiously he approached the clown.

He almost stopped breathing. In front of the man was a hole - with the dog inside it.

"Is it dead?" he asked, completely disregarding the fact that the man might snarl at him or hit him. His only concern was the dog.

The man stared at him with a rather shocked expression. The white make-up gave a sharp contrast to the golden eyes.

_Wait golden? _The Innocence questioned, humans didn't posses golden eyes, and what in the world was this feelin- _O, hell no. _Connecting to its Wielder's nerves it hastily it stimulated the senses of danger. _Get away from him! _It cried, but the grief of his poor heart droned it out.

The dog he played with, the dog that cared for him, that licked his ugly, deformation, the one who has forgiven him after he had done something horrible to it-

"He's dead." _You will be too if you don't run NOW!_

"He's covered in bruises." True, it had ones that would make anyone wince.

The clown turned his gaze back to his small ex-companion and covered him with soil. He formed a dome of earth and placed its favourite ball with star patterns on top of it. There was only one possibility - Cosimo. The burning anger he fought so hard to force behind the walls of indifference lashed out. _Forget about that good-for-nothing and PLEASE run! You'll be killed! _"It was definitely done by Cosimo, because you're more popular than he is. As long as someone is better than him, he won't let go. His performing skills are bad, this is actually the only thing he's good at."

Compared to the agitated Red, the clown replied blandly. "He was an old dog. Forget it."

Forget it.

**Don't forget. Don't forgive.**

He shook his head, this wasn't the time to think of _them. _Even so, he couldn't calm down. "Then you're not taking revenge?"

"If I did that, I'd be chased out by the Ringmaster, which means that whatever I did before would all be in vain." He replied as he put his palms together in a mute prayer.

_Your sacrifices will be in vain if you remain a second longer!_

Red clicked hi tongue in annoyance. What was with this guy? His partner has been murdered! How can he stay so calm?!

"I'm an outsider anyway, I'll be leaving for another place after Christmas tomorrow."

"...I see." Behind his emotionless words his inner world is in turmoil. He had long learned how to keep his face straight when he was angry. He regretted admiring the man as he performed with the dog. A man who didn't even shed a tear, it was too much. So he was this kind of person.

_A very dangerous kind of person who'll slaughter you in the minute he notices me! _No matter how much it poked the fear-centre, the boy did not bulge. But he had to get away from this man, who wasn't human!

He looked back at Red. "Then again who are you?"

"I'm the one doing odd jobs here. I'm the one who bought you meal before." Red replied plopping down next to him. _What are you doing?! You're supposed to run away, not idly chat with a monster!_

"I'm not good at remembering faces. And now that I look closely I see that you're covered in bruises too." He raised a pale finger to his mouth, licked it and rubbed it on a greenish-yellow spot on Red's cheek. _No! Don't wipe your stupid Noah genes on him!_

Finally Red agreed on something. He raised his left to his face to wipe away the saliva, not even noticing how natural it felt to move that normally immobile arm. "Wah! That's gross you idiot!"

The clown's eye stopped on the green Cross.

It tensed up as it sensed the clown's gaze on it. If it had breathed, its breath would have been caught in his throat. They ran out of luck, this time its Little Master will surely be killed. They stand no chance against a Noah.

It cried. Frustration, hopelessness, sadness and despair coursed through the Divine Substance.

It should have waited. It shouldn't have attached itself to a mere infant. It should have waited until the boy was old enough to understand it. Maybe this way he could have had a somewhat normal life, living with his family as he was supposed to.

But it was hasty and impatient and made a huge mistake. By joining him so early it meant to protect the child from all harm, but in the end it was the Innocence itself, the one who treasured the boy the most, who hurt him the most. It was so cruel. Maybe finally it could show some mercy by taking the boy's life quickly and enclosing inside the Cube, so he wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

However to its greatest surprise the clown started smiling. It lacked malice, but it was still taunting. "It's antiseptic." He explained. "You're covered in bruises too. Were you beaten up by Cosimo too?"

"Shut up!" Red snapped back at him. Its master was feisty as ever, even in front of a lethal enemy. It seems Red would fall fighting in another way than the Innocence imagined. The thought made its heart clench.

"Do you have friends?" _Is this some kind of perverted, sadistic Noah mind-game?_

"SHUT UP!" he turned away glaring at his feet. "...When I grow up, I'm getting out of this place as soon as I'm strong enough, so I don't need any friends." He remembered humans who he tried to be friends with. He remembered trying to please his parents. But in the end they all left him. He didn't need something like that.

"What are you doing?" he asked irate as the clown squeezed his own cheeks. _He doesn't mean harm?_

"You didn't think it was funny?"

"Sorry, but I don't like clowns. In fact I hate 'em."

"My, my" the man turned his head away humphing in mock hurt. "I dislike audience and children who don't laugh." Red reciprocated the humph.

"...Aren't you going to cry?" Red asked in a soft voice as he watched the pile of earth. "He lived with you for a long time didn't he? Aren't you sad?" he glanced back where the clown was... only to find that he was gone. As he turned he saw the man used a rope to hang himself from a tree. "So sad I could die."

"QUIT IT!" Something about this guy doesn't felt right. _Yes, yes, finally! Now get up and disappear from his sight!_

"But I can't cry." The man replied as he unhooked himself. "Maybe my tears have dried up. They just won't come."

Now this person was hard to understand. "What's up with that?"

The clown was silent.

"What was his name?" he asked. "He licked my hand yesterday." The dog licked him happily, the dog who did not care about his ugly hand at all. "It felt warm." His body was shaking by now. "So today I also..." He wanted to pet it again. "Even if it lasted so short why am I crying over it?" He couldn't hold it anymore, he broke down crying the first time in years.

A small sad smile pulled on the clown's lips. "I see." He breathed softly. "You were Allen's friend too."

Allen. So that was his name. He never called it on his name before. Even though he knew the pain of being nameless. He wanted to call out his name.

He cried until he was exhausted and eventually fell asleep. The Cube let the boy fall asleep, but itself was alert for any move the clown did. But he didn't. He just sat there like a broken doll.

It made the Innocence wonder just what happened to this person.

Crappy ending but I needed a non-cliffhanger one. And it's you liked it or not please don't hesitate to give me feedback. Feedback, favorite, follow me please~


	8. Chapter 8

Yay more reviews! I'm improving! Also, I think with this chapter I'll finish the Reverse novel part.

XHikariSoraX: No, it's not wrong to laugh, no harm done to little Red. I'm glad you like Crowned Clown(the reason why I refer to the Innocence as 'it', because I don't think they can copulate, so dividing them into genders seems pointless to me. However it would be legit to refer to them as 'he' or 'she' if we give them the same gender as their accommodator.) If all goes well, then know another significant meeting will take place :)

Yaissa-chan: I'm glad you like it and reviewed, I hope this chapter will please you too.

Jazebeth: When I read your comment my heart practically melted, thank you very much, I hope you won't lose interest.

Alaina Kuski: Glad you like it stay tuned :)

Kanrei: Yea, poor dog, it's sad that it died :'(

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and follows and favourites. I didn't even dare to dream that I'd hit 30, much less surpass it :) It makes me really glad that you guys like it :) I sincerely hope that I can keep up winning even more readers - I personally think that a fic is has good potential if the follow/favourite figure is above 50. Lots of love and kisses for you~

Chapter 8

Red let out a low grumble. At some point he fell asleep, and now he was awakened by a gentle swaying. It was strange, it felt warm and smelled like sun wafts out(A/N: I have no idea what this is, but according to the Reverse Novel he smelt like that).

His mind instantly cleared. He flinched with an undignified "Huh?!" He's been carried by the clown! Furious blush coloured his cheeks. "P-put me down!"

The clown didn't respond, only smiled as he entered his tent. Red noticed that his legs were shaking. "Are you cold?" The Innocence in him however knew that it was not the temperature that made him shake. It was distress, he was trying not to appear sad.

The man took out a coat and draped it around the boy. It was the one he covered the dog with the day before. It was warm. Warm like the dog's tongue. He felt tears pickle his eyes, but he blinked them away. Trying to focus on other thoughts he snuggled into the warmth of the coat and returned to sleep.

* * *

><p>The streets were even more crowded due to Christmas. Street lamps were decorated and the smell of freshly baked bread mixed in the spice-scented air. The circus was moving. Performers showed off their talents as Red distributed the flyers.<p>

Even though he was not used to such crowds he felt at ease since the coat of the clown covered his left arm. People around them stopped in their tracks and smiled at a clown's performance. Children gathered around him and demanded more. Red glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. Noticing the gaze on him the clown smiled and did a handstand with only one hand. He turned once then started dancing around in circles. Then suddenly he spread out his arms and used two fingers to point at Red. Yes, like he meant 'He's up next'.

The attention of the audience turned to the gaping Red. The clown then straightened up and shrugged as if saying he can't help it. Seeing this the mob laughed, they thought he had no courage.

Red, competitive by nature flares up. He's always been a passionate person with strong emotions, but that was what the Innocence loved the most about him. And it was all too happy to give him the moves to counter the clown. It showed Red's mind what to do, and his body followed it only a second late.

Red put the fliers and stepped on the ground. He did a back flip, trusting his nimbleness and landed on his feet like a cat. The audience clapped and cheered. The clown pretended that he was so shocked that he fell over. That resulted another round of laughter.

The clown got up slowly and smiled at him. Red realised that he was smiling too. The clown bowed deeply and Red followed, the people clapped them. The clown handed the silk top hat to Red, where the audience threw the coins. So this was the feeling of being wanted. Red started to blush.

The Innocence felt a familiar tingling. Another Accommodator was nearby! Finally someone came to take its Master and tell him their mission!

An unfamiliar voice startled Red. "Kid, what's your name?" Turning around he saw a man wearing a coat on top of his priest clothing, a silver cross shining on his chest. The man put a coin in the hat. His hair was deep red, the colour of blood, covering half of his face and tied in a ponytail. His eyes were sharp, taking in all detail. For some reason Red felt really exposed. The man had a cold and scary aura, his stare not leaving him. His Innocence tried to soothe him and suggest, that this man was not danger. It was someone who was a Critical Point Breaker and carried an Equipment-type Shard of Cube, which he baptised as Judgement.

"Didn't you hear me? Your name." He repeated impatiently.

He didn't have one. He refuses to consider himself 'Red'. So he ignored the guy.

The priest however was having none of that. "Hey!" the man tries to get his attention, but he continued to pass out the flyers. "Are you called Allen?"

Red frowned. What was this man saying? "No." Allen is the dog's- "Not a dog."

The man's calculating gaze doesn't leave him. "...If it's not your name then forget it. Listen up, brat, don't get too close to Mana." And then he disappeared in the crowd, leaving Red to wonder what kind of person was he.

_What?! He left?! Just like that?! _The Divine Being was flabbergasted, did he not come to take Red away?

Once he finished with the flyers he found the clown. What name did that guy say? Oh right it was- "Mana?" The clown reacted to him with a nod. "Are you called Mana?"

"Yes." The clown replied. "How did you know my name?"

"Just now a strange red-head guy in priest robes talked to me. He told me not to get close to you-" Hearing that, Mana's expression became strange. For the first time, he looked serious. Without a word he turned on his heels and ran off.

"Mana?" Red followed him in panic. "Mana what's wrong?"

"I need to find that person." He said hastily as he looked around frantically. But the priest was gone.

"Mana, he can't be found anymore!" he tried to convince the clown to stop, but he doesn't listen. He ran around the city aimlessly, Red following him like a shadow. He continued until the sun set. The circus performance was starting soon, they had to return. Mana's shoulders slump in disappointment.

"Why do you spend so much effort into searching for them?"

Red was surprised to see loneliness in his eyes. Red found himself sympathizing with Mana. His Innocence too, would provide assistance if he could, however Judgement's wielder was out of vicinity. "That could be my little brother." At that, Red felt jealousy flare in him. Even though this person was lonely, he still had someone left. He didn't have anything. Nothing at all.

A determined look settled in Mana's eyes as he stood on shaking legs. With small steps he headed to a random direction. Just then a horse carriage appeared, heading in their way.

Red didn't think, he jumped to his feet and pushed Mana in a nearby drain. The carriage zapped past by them. "Careful hey! You could have died!" Red reprimanded, but Mana's eyes didn't leave the crowd. Red felt a little guilty, the man was only trying to search for something worth living... just like him. "Seriously, I can't handle you." He muttered under his breath.

Red took Mana's hand and led him to a nearby park where he could clean up. Mana removed the wig and the clown makeup. Red couldn't help but stare at him, this was his first time seeing Mana's real face. He had sharp nose, face wrinkled by age. However, the feature that had the biggest impression was his eye. Now that the makeup was washed off the amber eyes seemed golden.

Mana met Red's gaze, but a few minutes later he turned away in embarrassment.

"Really, you need to be more careful!" Red insisted. "If I didn't save you, you'd be dead."

"Death is such a dislikeable thing!" he laughed with no humour.

"That's why I said you have to be more careful!"

"I guess you're right, I apologize. Ah, today's weather is really good."

"What does the weather has to do with anything?!"

_Seriously, what?_

"The evening sun in this time of the year is always beautiful."

_Is this guy ok?_

"Are you even listening to what I'm trying to say? You need to be more careful! I know you miss your brother but-"

"You know I'm only seventeen."

_Yep, he clearly lost it._

"Huh?" No matter how Red looked, the man seemed to be in his fifties. Noticing Red's confusion, he continued. "One morning when I woke up, I realised that I became a middle-aged man. I don't know why though. The day before I was a seventeen year old youth. At first when I saw myself in the mirror I was shocked!"

What? Noah's were also well-known for their long-lasting youth, how come this person aged so much in such a short span of time?

Maybe... maybe he used to be a Noah, but was exorcised? As far as it knew the host went down with their Noah.

Could he have lost his position as Noah's Follower? No, that was highly unlikely, when they turn the Disciplines lose their emotional ties with humans, there's no way one would go against his or her nature.

Or maybe this person was related to a person who turned into a Noah? That seemed to be the most possible answer. However... Didn't the newly turned Noahs murder their family as a pledge of loyalty to carry out Noah's mission?

Red shared the sentiment, this was weird. Mana felt that Red was waiting for him to continue.

"I have a little brother, but he is nowhere to be found." Mana leaned forward. "I will say this to you only." The Innocence and Red tensed when the man leaned to whisper in his ear. "I'm on the run. If I get caught I'll definitely be killed."

Red couldn't help his childlike curiosity. "By whom?"

"The Millennium Earl." What? He _is _an outcast Noah after all? "He is a person who can turn people into Akuma. They are everywhere so you need to stay alert." He then retreated, his finger on his lips, signalling that this was meant to be a secret. Red felt that not only this person was abnormal, but suffered from some illness. "My brother must have been separated from me. I must find him. Because I have turned into this sort of middle-aged man, even if he sees me, he won't recognise me. I need to go and find him... so I need to be alone and begin my life of wandering."

"Is that so?... Your little brother could have abandoned you." As the words flew out of his mouth he mentally kicked himself. "If it's true what do you plan to do?"

The man doesn't look at him, but at the white snow that bathes in the setting sun's light. "...How beautiful. I like beautiful worlds the best." Even though he smiled, he looked like he had been crying.

* * *

><p>It was already dark when they returned to the circus. A long queue extended in front of the circus, the crowd eager to see the performance.<p>

As he entered the tent Red was shocked to find Cosimo waiting for them. He was ready for his act, clothes and makeup in place, smirking at them.

The peaceful feeling he felt with Mana vanished. This bastard _killed _Allen. Yet he got away with it. "What happened to your partner?" he asked mockingly.

Mana tilted his head to the side. "...Who are you? I'm not very good at remembering faces."

Cosimo looked flabbergasted. "I'm Cosimo!" But Mana ignores him. He walked past him saying something about visitors and left. He acted as if everything was alright, that Allen's death didn't matter.

However Red was not so forgiving. "You killed him didn't you?"

Cosimo looked down on him (in both meanings). "Huh?"

"Allen is dead. He was covered in bruises." Red spat. "The only person who would have done it was you!"

Cosimo laughed, but in his tone it was clear that he was nervous. "Of course, that's impossible. Calm down Red." Something devious sparkled behind those eyes. "That's right. Hey everyone! Let's hear what Red just said!"

Hearing the commotion the other members came. Cosimo surveyed them with a conceited smile. That bastard always loved to be the centre of attention. "It looks like the cute dog is dead." The members let out horrified gasps. "And Red was the one who killed it."

Hearing this Red sucked in a breath of cold air. Just as he predicted, Cosimo would put the blame on him.

"You were performing some tricks during the day with that clown, weren't you? Maybe... you felt that the dog was in the way so you killed it to be its replacement."

"How could I have done that?!" This arsewipe was spitting nonsense! The dog was his friend!

The troop members looked down on him coldly. Red grit his teeth. They were bound to know that he was supposed to perform, but he was the one to refuse it since he hated crowds.

But in this place he was just a burden. In their eyes he was just a monster child. They would never believe him. All the feelings of anger and hate reached its breaking point.

Blinded by rage Red grabbed a plank that lied innocently on the ground and swung it at Cosimo like a sword. His body instinctively moved to suit the developing Cube inside. But since he was a scrawny child he couldn't strike with too much force.

Cosimo cries out in pain, clutching at his sore shoulder, but Red knew that he was exaggerating. Hearing the commotion, the Ringleader rushed there. "What's wrong Cosimo?"

Forgetting his "pain" Cosimo jumped to his stomach. "That bastard, he actually used a plank to hit me! Argh, my shoulder."

The Ringmaster turned his glare at Red with fury in his eyes. He slowly picked up the plank Red hit Cosimo with and swung it at the boy with full force. The blow knocked the child over and scraped his temple, letting his blood escape through the wound. He continued the assault on the defenceless boy, until the plank broke in half, then threw the end at him. By now Red could barely move and his vision was hazy from blood loss. "You bastard!" he snarled at him. "You're completely useless! I can't stand it anymore!"

Red knew that tone, this man too, was going to abandon him, without listening to him. To him and the other troop members the truth is not important at all. Just like-

"Throw him in the animal cage!"

Throw him to the beasts. Then he would die. Die by his hands. Die like Allen. Die because of Cosimo. The anger returned tenfold.

No! He won't die by his hands! Isn't that enough that this bastard made his life living hell, now that he can protect himself - he can counterattack, so that counts as protection too. And now that his "fun" is over he disposes of him?

No! He won't stand being oppressed anymore! Cosimo won't have this one! _**He**__ was going to be the one to get killed!_

With new-found strength he sprung to life, escaping the Ringleader's reach like an agile fish and lunged at Cosimo again. As he jumped he twisted his body in the air, using the hard and lead-heavy ugly red arm, which he so despised and swung it, aiming at Cosimo's temple.

The green cross flashed. The cross Allen licked. The Allen who played with him, disregarding his deformity. Red's first and only friend. He remembered the light in his eyes.

He also remembered a pile of earth next to a hole in the ground. He remembered as his heart broke when he saw his friend in it. His friend who was covered in bruises.

Even if he was killed now he would take revenge for Allen. Despite the fact that he wasn't Allen's owner. Despite knowing him only for a short span of time. But such an ungraceful and cruel death cannot be overlooked.

With a loud noise, his arm collided with warm flesh. Green sparks escaped the cross. They attracted Red's attention. Red gasped. The one whom he collided with was not Cosimo. It was Mana. "Mana!" He didn't notice the shards disappearing on Mana's head.

_What? My essence affected him? He is a Noah after all? _

"No." Blood was flowing from Mana's head. "You can't cause a tragedy."

_What? A Noah showing _mercy_?! Just what on earth was going on here?!_

Mana was smiling. Blood flowed from his head, but he kept smiling and crying bloody tears.

This, this... IDIOT! He saved the prick who killed Allen! With that stupid smile on his face! "Why are you so calm?! Why do you protect a bastard like Cosimo?! WHY?!" He doesn't understand it. Not at all. These mixing feelings clouded his judgement. Without thinking he struck Mana again. Mana's bleeding intensified.

_Hold on a sec. Red didn't hit that hard. Why would he bleed? Noahs don't bleed this much without regenerating. Only when they-_

_No. NO! Noah can only be exorcised when they are in their true form. Only then can the power of Innocence purge them. Could it be... that even though my power is sealed... some of it seeps through... and affects the follower of Noah?_

_No! He can't be transforming now of all times! We can't even activate!_

_Stop! Red, please stop!_

_Don't provocate him, you'll get killed! MASTER!_

Not hearing the frantic pleas of his Innocence Red continued his assault. Why why why why?!

"Thank you..." he mumbled, clearly struggling to not lose focus. "For making my friend so happy..." Red stopped. He was completely exhausted. As he hit Mana his wounds bled too. He could barely support himself. His body felt heavy.

Mana gently placed a hand on his head. "Allen... was very... lonely..." he panted hard, struggling to form the words. "In the... beginning... he didn't know... any tricks... he was treated... as a... a burden... at... that time... he was... probably... very... lonely..."

What? Allen, the dog who was full of so much life... was like him?

"After... meeting you... he was... very happy... But please... don't spread... tragedy... Tragedy... trage...dy..." something was seriously wrong, Red knew it. He kept repeating the same words, just like a broken doll, a broken record. His face was blank. Something broke in him.

A cold feeling freezes over Red. Broken. That's right. He hit him. With his heavy and deformed left arm.

Red looked at Mana, really looking at him. And he saw. Mana was covered in his own blood.

The Ringleader's voice cuts through the haze in his head and yanked him back in the ungrateful reality. "Red stop right now!" Two member's hand grabbed him, eager to follow the Ringleader's earlier order. He tried to get away, but his body was even weaker than usual from his own blood loss. "No, Mana!" he tried to reach out to the clown, but he was dragged away. He barely heard Mana's last words.

"Tra...ge...dy... att...racts... the... Earl."

* * *

><p>The sky was dark. Upon entering the storage Red was pushed in front of the animal cage. He didn't object. On the way he lost consciousness once and his mind was still a bit fuzzy.<p>

From the cage the sounds of the fierce carnivores could be heard. Not only they were hungry, they were agitated from being stuffed in such a small place. Also the sweet scent of fresh blood drove them mad.

If he was thrown inside he's surely get killed. He'll die for sure.

...Death?

In this sort of place? Because of that insignificant person? For that foul reason? Condemn him to death again for something he didn't even do?

_It isn't your fault._

Then what was he born for?

_Because I wanted and needed you._

What was the purpose of his existence?

_To bring salvation to mankind._

_But no matter what I do, you can't hear me... You shut me out... You won't let me tell you... If only I could tell you... If only you heard me..._

He heard cheers coming from the main tent. It was an ominous feeling, as if they cheered his fall. He was thrown in the cage, door shutting behind him, lock clicking. Then the fainting sounds of footsteps could be heard.

It was dark inside, but he could see the outline of the beast. It growled. He heard it beside him.

There's no escape.

His Innocence gave off a powerful aura. Red's eyes widened when the creature flinched.

Just as it did a huge yellow orb which seemed to have wings crushed through the bars. The beast let out pained cry and collapsed.

Red stared at the huge winged ball. What just happened?! Did it protect him?!

The creature chewed a hole in the bars and backed away so Red could climb out. His nervousness heightened when he heard a dull thud. Two bodies laid on the ground, silenced forever.

Behind them was him. The red-headed priest he met earlier this day.

His Innocence almost shouted out in joy. He came back! They were saved! However the joy was short-lived as it realised the menacing aura Judgement's wielder gave off. His breathing was irregular.

Red couldn't help but stare. The man just killed those members. He was so stunned he didn't see the punch until it hit him in the temple. "You stinking brat!" he screeched at him. Red fell on the ground from the hit, his vision swimming.

Suddenly a gun was pointed at his forehead. Red breathes in sharply. The priest was full of killing intent.

_Judgement what on earth are you doing?! You guys are not supposed to kill people, let alone another Accommodator! Get your Master to his senses!_

The man's piercing gaze however didn't falter for even a millisecond. Fuck, Equipment types couldn't be influenced. Those eyes... just how many people did he kill to have such eyes? Eyes of pure bloodlust?

"I told you not to get close to Mana didn't I?" the man's hand tightened around the gun, ready to fire- but the huge golden orb smashed into him. "Tim!" the man's gaze returned to him and he clicked his tongue. He pulled his gun back. "Ran out of bullets."

_Sheesh that was close..._

The man forcefully yanked Red up by his oversized shirt. "Don't forget, this is all because of you." He spat then shoved the child to the ground. Black spots obstruct his vision. He was losing consciousness. The only thing he heard was the growl of the priest. "Disappear."

Red trembled from fear. What should he do? If he stays he'll surely get killed.

He couldn't take this anymore. With the remaining strength he had left he pushed himself on his feet and ran. He fled. He wanted to escape all the pain, the grief, the endless humiliation. He ran without looking where he went, he disappeared in the alleys. Not much later his legs gave out. He stumbled and fell in the snow, panting heavily. He was out of there. He was free again. He was nameless. He only belonged to himself. He was alone, he didn't have friends-

He gasped. The picture of Allen swam in his view. He grit his teeth in frustration. He didn't avenge him after all. But he had to get away. If he remained he'd surely get killed. It's not like there was anything worthy staying for. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on something else.

"Thank you for making my friend happy."

His eyes snapped open. No! In the commotion he completely forgot about the clown! He was injured! Moreover that crazy killer priest could still be there!

With quivering arms he tried to push himself up, but his weak arm easily gave out. He tried again but no results. "No! Mana! No! Hang on! I'm coming! Uh!" Pain shot through him as he accidentally fell on his injured left arm. The bitter emotions resurfaced. "Fuck!" he cursed at the arm. "Move! You are my arm! Do as I say and move damn it!"

_I'm sorry I can't. _He_ is nearby. I can't let you face _him_ yet._

For some reason warm numbness coursed through his body. At this rate he'll fall asleep. With his last strength he tried to pull himself on the ground. "No, Mana, please!"

With a bitter feeling the Innocence disregarded its Host's pleas and pushed him into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>He awoke for the smell of freshly baked bread. Ah, what a lovely scent it was. This morning wasn't so bad after all.<p>

As his mind cleared pain and the memories of the previous day shots trough him. Mana and him performing. The red priest. Mana and him in search of the Red priest. Return to the circus unsuccessfully. Get picked on by Cosimo again. Cosimo putting the blame on him for Allen's death. The cold stares. Anger. Hitting Cosimo with a plank. The Ringleader picking Cosimo's side and beating his up with the same plank. Another wave of anger. Attacking Cosimo with his red arm. Mana protecting Cosimo. Him hitting Mana. Mana bleeding. Mana thanking him for being Allen's friend. Being thrown to the beast. Getting saved by a golden orb. The red priest killing some of the members. The red priest's eyes glaring at him, wanting to kill him. Red priest retreating. Him running and fainting. Mana...

Mana! No! He left him there when that bloodthirsty priest was probably still around!

Ignoring his dizziness, he pushed himself on his hands and knees. He jumped into standing position and rushed in the direction he thought he came from. He couldn't stop the guilt closing in on him. While he was concerned for his own safety when Mana was still there. He cowardly ran and left an the injured owner of his friend behind when that murderer was still around.

If anything happened to him Allen would surely grow to hate him.

If anything happened to him Red would never be able to forgive himself.

Finally after so much dead-ends he finally saw the top of the tents. When he saw a huge crowd gathered at the entrance. Red squeezed himself through the mob so he could see what happened with his own eyes.

As he arrived to the main entrance a horrible view greeted him.

It was as if a storm tore the place apart: most of the tents collapsed, and the bloody gowns of the performers were scattered around. But there was no human there. As he tried to get inside an arm blocked his way. "Hey kid, this is a closed off area." It was a police officer. "Go back home, this is not a place for kids."

Home? He had no such luxuries. Cowards like him deserved to drown in the mud. But he had to know if Mana was alright. That's it, when the guard was looking away he would sneak in. And he could find Mana... Or what's left of him - he thought with a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Disappeared you say?" some woman behind him asked. Red stiffened.

"Yes, most of them did, only very few is still around. The others just vanished. It seems they can't perform anymore."

Disappeared? But last night he could hear the cheers of the crowd while he was in the cage. How could they disappear so quickly.

"And it seems they didn't run away. The performers' clothes are still around. From what I heard they were shot." A lumped formed in Red's throat. So that priest killed them all? "Rumours say that they were attacked. But there are no bodies, just some kind of strange rubble."

_Akuma._

Red's heart beat very fast. The members disappeared. Did Mana fall a victim too? Did the gun carrying priest killed him too?

Don't forget, this is all your fault - his voice still rang loud in his ears.

Red gasped in surprise when a familiar clown stumbled in his way. "Mana!" He looked even worse than last night. Dried blood clung to his forehead and his clown suit was dirty. But he was still alive! Red wanted to jump up and down with joy, until Mana spoke that is.

"Where have you been, Allen?"

Red was shocked. "Eh?"

"Mana...?" Allen was the dog's name.

Mana didn't notice his uneasiness. "Today is Christmas, so let's go to another place!"

"Mana!" He didn't hear Red's cries, he took his hand and pulled him away. "Where should we go?"

"Instead of that shouldn't you take care of your wound?" That I caused - he added mentally.

"Do you have any place to go?"

"Mana!" Mana was very strange. "Hey!"

"Where should we go?" Mana tilted his head to the side. "Strange, why am I travelling?"

Hearing this statement Red froze. "You said you were looking for your little brother."

Mana stops walking. "Little brother? What's that?"

Red stiffened. Mana completely forgot his goal. ...Why? Is it because he hit him too much?

Don't forget, this is all because of you.

Because of him? Because he hit Mana too hard?

"I feel like... I'm looking for something really important." Even though he was smiling, Mana's voice was even. His whole body was shaking. He was sad, because he lost his memory.

Red fought the urge to cry. "You're looking for your little brother! You little brother who was separated from you! You yourself said it, just yesterday!" But Mana didn't react. In one night, he changed entirely. He can't revert back anymore. He had this feeling. Unable to fight his emotions any longer Red let his tears fall.

It was all his fault. He should have controlled his anger. He shouldn't have hurt Mana. He shouldn't have left him here while that priest was still around. But like the coward he was he ran. He fled to save his own skin. He abandoned someone who needed him. He abandoned Mana, just like he was abandoned. He destroyed Mana. He became what he despised the most.

Mana reached his hand out to pat his head. "Don't be sad. If you are sad, the Earl will come." His hand slid down to wipe his tears away. "Allen, you're really warm. And strange. When did you grow this big? And your tail's gone too." Red was mixed up with a dog. He wanted to laugh at the whole ridiculousness of the situation.

It can't end like this. Mana's brother was still out there, probably searching for Mana as Mana searched him. Red wiped away his tears. Yes, he mustn't cry. He had no right to cry. Sinners deserve no right to maintain self-pity. The damage was done. He can't revert it. But he can still atone. He knew the person, the red-haired priest Mana was looking for. His image was engraved in his mind. This would be his reason for living.

"Take me with you Mana." He pleaded. "I'll tell you what you have forgotten, I'll remember it for you. So please... Take me with you."

Allen and Mana were the first ones to give hi happiness. The ones who made him feel needed. The ones who made him feel like he was a human being. They gave him what he desired the most.

Now it's his turn to pay back. He'd make Mana happy. He will be Mana's Allen.

"We will always be together Allen." Mana said innocently, unaware of the impact of his words.

"That's right." Red replied with a shaky voice. "We'll always be together."

This was the day 'Red' became 'Allen'.

As promised, uneven chapter lengths. Ok, sorry I little altered the story end, but I think it's better like this. If you have complaints don't hesitate! Also I welcome tips, my describing skills are not the best, the atmosphere needs to be improved. Any ideas are welcomed. Follow&Favorite&Feedback please!


	9. Chapter 9

Hey, s'been a while guys, so I decided to drop by and finally publish a chapter between finals. It was hard for me to decide what to include, but it's done! XD Though

I've seen from the reviews that some of haven't read the Reverse Novel, so here it is: view/qqz02qq3qbjbj8i/Story+

Also here are the responses:

XHikariSoraX: What can I say? I'm a bloody sadist.

Thor94: Well, first of all, Mana is dizzy - maybe nauseous from being hit by the Innocence, and he possibly passed out. Also I mentioned that Allen's Innocence sensed the presence of Akuma and "Him", so Mana had enough trouble trying to save himself while Red faced the beasts. And don't worry, I'll give a good reason why Allen would follow Cross. (I have no idea either why he really did, this is just what I think Allen would do.) His hatred lies somewhere else.

Kenzie Pert: I'm planning on sticking to the plot, but I'll make it as exciting as I can.

Sticy17: Don't worry, I have no intention of abandoning this story, I'm just busy with my studies so updates take long :( I have tests almost every week and the subject - while not unaccomplishable - but needs your complete focus.

The Allen Walker: Woa, I love your profile pic, I have that as wallpaper^^ I'm glad you like the story, I hope you won't lose interest.

I can't thank you guys enough for the all the support: reviews, follows, favourites, I'd never thought I'd made 45 followers and 40 favourites, I'm grateful. I hope you'll like the following events. :)

Chapter 9

Frozen snow crumbled under the small feet as Red- no, Allen struggled in the ankle-deep snow trying to keep up with Mana. It has already been a year since they left England. Right now they were in Prussia, currently in a small town called Warcz. The weather was colder than London's, but at least there were no such powerful winds as in it was in Denmark. The pair has travelled through a good part of Europe, stopping at cities that were neither too small nor too busy.

He had learnt much in this year. At first he was really excited to finally leave behind the circus and the town that only reminded him of painful things. Also, he couldn't help his natural curiosity, his body tingled all over from excitement and the desire to know, to see how other people at another place lived. His enthusiasm however faded seeing the striking similarity. People were still disgusted of him or plainly ignored him, it seemed some things never change.

However he did learn a few tricks. He learned what places to evade at all cost, he knew which places are the best to eat at, he learned how to cook, he learned how to find a safe place to sleep at - despite his horrible sense of direction mind you. The clown training boosted his speed and agility a great deal, which he could put use at khm... extra-cullicular activities. Yea, he pick-pocketed now and again, so what? If society didn't accept him he won't obey it, simple as that. Laws crafted by society never mattered to the companion he didn't know he carried.

The training also improved their connection. The more he used it the more the arm felt like a part of himself. It was still pretty stiff and numb, but he could move it much easier and could touch objects without accidentally crushing them.

From time to time he would inspect the limb when no one was around, his Innocence relishing the light touches - and secretly wished for more. His thin fingers curiously ran over the scale-like skin, as if the answer why, _why_ did humans despised him so much was written hidden under the folds. Other times, when he felt bolder than usual, he would explore the part when flesh and that... _thing_ met. He didn't know where did that sense of thrill came from touching it but it made goosebumps appear on his skin. (A/N: Woa...underage Allen exploring his body... I feel like such a perv...But let's not go that way, it would make the fic M-rated - and illegal. Just remember that you guys must have poked and prodded healing wounds like scratches and scrapes - sometimes opening them up again - and had a strange sense of accomplishment. Or I'm the only one?)He would quickly yank his fingers back, the rational part of his mind convincing him that he shouldn't feel so normal about something that made him look like a freak. Consequently touching the centre, that pitch-black cross-flower-or-whatever-the-hell-it-was, was out of question.

Since he spent most of the day with Mana he got to know a few things about him. He would often talk about the places he's been at, the best dishes he ever ate or even tell a few stories about Allen, the dog. When they finished practicing for the day and took care of dinner and bed Mana would teach him. In a few days he already knew the alphabet and could read the easier words. He didn't have pens or pencils or time to write, so he'd just draw the letters in the snow.

Even though he was reluctant he gradually opened up to Mana. He became such an integral part of Allen's life that he found himself _missing_ the other's presence when they were apart. And he could tell that Mana too, was happy to see him.

So this is what it felt like? Having someone by your side?

Being wanted?

It was nice...

Allen was snapped out of his musings when Mana suddenly stopped. Allen too halted his steps and watched Mana. He followed his gaze but he saw nothing worthy of attention. It seemed he was looking at the church. No, Allen realised he was staring at the drawings hung out. They were obviously children's work. Allen frowned in confusion. They all were depicting a huge ship and different kinds of animals. In some the creatures boarded the ship, in others the ship was already on water. Is this some kind of biblical story? Sure he knew about the book and its relevance, but he himself never read it. Mana too said that it was very difficult to read so he would tell some of the stories like the apple of sin, Jesus Christ and God. Not that Allen believed in his existence, he just wanted to know who was the one people referred to when they wanted to banish the evil from within him.

He took an involuntary step back when he saw Mana shake. Allen gasped in horror seeing Mana's eyes lose focus. "No...Noah...the Earl...must get away...must find _him_!"

Allen bit his lip. Mana had 'it' again. Allen knew that he must distract Mana, before his condition worsened and he attracted attention. They were on the run after all.

But what could he do? There was nothing worthy of attention here in the potentially dangerous part of the town. Few people were around and since it was winter it will get dark soon. They had to find an inn where they could spend the night. He might be young but he knew that darkness was the reign of all evil. He needed to think, fast.

He looked around, expecting to find the answer written here somewhere. The blinding whiteness of the snow was broken by a brown spot. A stick.

"They why not leave him a message?" Allen wanted to slap himself. How could he blurt out such idiocy?

It seemed to work though, Mana's eyes focused and watched him curiously. Allen quickly padded over to the innocent stick lying in the snow and handed it to Mana. Mana stared at the stick then him, then back at the stick. "If you write in the snow you can leave a message to him. If he's close by then he'll most likely see it."

Mana contemplated for a few seconds then nodded and sat on the cobblestone. Allen let out a sigh of relief as he crouched down facing Mana. He observed with mild curiosity as Mana drew some strange symbols in the snow. They weren't part of the English alphabet, they didn't even resemble... Allen was sure that this was the first time in his life he saw such marks but for some reason they seemed... familiar.

The other entity in him was instantly alarmed by the that. It felt something shift in Allen... that was and wasn't quite Allen... and definitely not the Innocence itself. Even though it couldn't hear Allen's exact thoughts, but the feelings accompanying it always gave Allen away. It tried to remembers seeing such marks too, but despite seeing seven millennia, it haven't seen anything relatively similar. Then how?

Mana stopped writing, but his hand still hovered over the snow. It seemed as if he forgot the symbol he wanted to write. "M...M..." he closed his eyes trying to remember, ignoring Allen's gaze.

Seeing the symbols and hearing the letter "m" an image flashed in Allen's mind. Without realising what he was doing he took the stick out of Mana's hand and mechanically draw the character.

"Ah!" Allen snapped out of the trance like state hearing Mana's overjoyed voice. "Thank you Allen."

"You're welcome." Allen replied with a small, relieved smile. Mana's episode passed without much hassle. "Do you want me to continue?" Mana nodded eagerly at the offer.

For some reason Allen felt really light and content drawing in the snow. His worries slowly faded away in the back of his mind. For once he didn't worry about food or shelter, he was just a kid playing in the snow with his friend. A smile spread on his face without noticing. He was smiling much more lately.

When he was done he patted the snow off his pants and glanced at Mana. "Done. Now let's go and search for a place to sleep at okay?" he reached his hand out to Mana, who took it without hesitation, then led the way. It was usually like this, despite being the younger of the two Allen often ended up as the parent in most of the situations. Not that he really minded, he liked Mana. Even though the man had seen his deformity he didn't turn away from him. That was more than Allen could ask for.

Soon enough they found a decent inn and settled down. After cleaning up they had dinner and Allen crashed into his bed, instantly falling asleep without a care in the world.

* * *

><p>Allen groaned as he felt himself wake up. He didn't want to. He still felt drained from walking like what, 30 km with little rest and then deal with Mana. Who dared to disturb him now of all times? He wanted to go back to sleep, damn it!<p>

He snuggled into his pillow, ready to drift off when he was interrupted again by some muffled voice. Irritation overwhelming his sleepiness he shot up from his bed ready to stab the poor soul who dared to disturb him. However he froze at the sight. Mana was out of his bed. He whipped his head around as he heard the muffled voice again. His eyes widened. Mana was huddled in the corner, trying to seem as small as possible as his choked voice escaped his throat.

Allen pushed his blanket away and left the warmth of his bed. With slow steps he approached Mana, with each step he heard him better. He crouched down in front of Mana, the same way he did earlier that day. He cautiously put his human hand on Mana's forearm. Said person snapped his head up, his fearful and teary gaze meeting Allen's concerned ones.

Mana's mouth opened and closed, his jaw clenched. Clearly he struggled with words as tears overflowed from his eyes. "Ne...ah...?"

Allen's eyes narrowed. It seems Mana had hallucinations. If he tried to tell him the truth he would start wailing again, attracting unnecessary attention. So he played along.

"What is it Mana?" Allen whispered in a deep, reassuring voice. "Did you have a bad dream again?"

Slowly, as if he was afraid that Allen would disappear Mana reached his hands out to him, cupping his cheeks. The hands then slid behinds his neck as Mana pulled him in a tight embrace, sobbing silently. Allen raised his hand to pat Mana's crown of hair gently. "Neah... where are you?" Mana asked whispering. "I'm so lost... Please, brother... tell me... where can I find you?"

Allen quickly racked his brain for an answer that would satisfy the elder. "Brother...Mana... I can't tell you where am I... The Earl... his eyes are everywhere.. So follow Allen. Allen will lead the way for you." Mana nodded and Allen continued to whisper him reassuring words until Mana fell asleep.

He sighed in relief - geez, it seems sighing became a habit for him. Two episodes in one day... he didn't understand it, usually they happen once in a month so how come it happened twice in a single afternoon? Tough luckily he could ward them off before things got serious.

The first time Mana got like this was still vivid in his mind. Mana stopped when they were walking through a village. Allen realised he was watching two boys, twins sitting on a leafless tree-branch. Since they didn't have time to waste Allen dragged him away forcefully. Mana kept wanting to go back to the leafless tree - going as far as shoving Allen out of the way not gently at all - mumbling words Allen couldn't completely recall, only fragments like 'Earl', 'Noah', 'little brother' and 'always watching'.

That night Mana got out of control. He was screaming on top of his lug for his brother meanwhile Allen was doing his best to calm him down. But Mana didn't listen to him, on the contrary, he was angry at Allen for standing in his way.

Allen tried to snap Mana out of it, he thought that maybe if he tried talking sense to him Mana would calm down. He didn't see it coming, he never dreamt that Mana, his beloved Mana would grab him by his throat and squeeze. With choked voice he begged Mana to stop, tried to scratch and bite and kick and hit, but the anger and despair clouding Mana's senses cut him off of reality. Black dots were dancing at the corner of Allen's eyes, closing in on him, but Mana still didn't let go. Allen was terrified, he was sure that he would die. Then, probably from the insane amount of adrenaline roaming in his veins, his numb left arm clamped around Mana's. Mana let out a pained yelp and let go of Allen, who fell to the floor and heaved. Seeing that Allen was no longer trying to stop him Mana quickly lost interest and headed for the door.

As if possessed Allen screamed out. "Brother wait!". Both of them stilled. Mana slowly turned around, his eyes glinstening from tears. Allen, still panting on the floor, was speechless. Where did that come from? And how come it worked? Allen never found that out, however he did realise that for some reason Mana actually _believed_ he was his brother.

His chest constricted at the thought. It was his fault. He was the one who did this to Mana. He never felt so ashamed and disgusted of himself. He was the lowest of the low, attacking someone who didn't fight back just because they were in his way. He can never be forgiven for that, not by anyone, not even himself. All he could hope for that when they reunited with Mana's brother he won't kill him or chase him away.

Was here something in this town that triggered something in Mana's mind? Perhaps he was reminded of his brother?

He knew who were they looking for. It was the read-headed priest, whose name was Neah it seems. The dangerous man who almost finished him off without hesitation. But if he was this important to Mana then he'd put his dislike aside. If it was Mana, he'd do it without hesitation.

He carefully pulled Mana's torso on his back and practically dragged the adult back to his bed. It wouldn't do good if Mana caught cold. He sucked in a deep breath then lifted Mana up, so he could lay him on his bed, then let out a big exhale. He tucked the unmoving adult in and return to his by now cold bed. He didn't get much sleep afterwards.

XXX

"Good Morning~!"

Allen groaned and pulled the blanket over his head, trying to block out the sound to continue sleeping. However the covers were swiftly pulled off of him.

"Get up Allen! Wakey, wakey~!" Mana cheered, ignoring Allen's groan. "It's Christmas!" Allen's brain finally processed Mana's words. So finally he's back to normal. Well... as normal as he can get.

Begrudgingly, he kicked the covers off, to meet an overly excited Mana bouncing as he held two small clumsily-wrapped packages. Presents. Christmas presents. Allen could only blink. Soon Mana got impatient and practically shoved the gifts in the boy's hands. "Open them!"

Hesitantly Allen undid the ribbon on the top and the papers practically fell apart to reveal checked material. Allen held his breath as he pulled it out.

It was a coat. A thick, tightly woven material, that would keep him warm. The cloak that covered his body to his mid-thigh - which effectively covered his left arm - was already quite ragged. So Mana, he, he brought him a new one?

"Come on~ Try it, try it!" Mana sang. Allen complied, he got out of bed and trotted over to the full-size mirror hanging on the wall. With quick fingers Mana undid the buttons and helped him slide the coat on. "Perfect fit~!" Indeed it was. It was warm and light, easy to move around in. The best part is that it reached to his knees, so it would keep his thighs warm. He already had a nice pair of boots that would keep his feet warm so he wouldn't feel cold. Allen's porcelain cheeks flushed. It was awesome, but... but-

Allen whipped back and grabbed Mana's cheeks. "I don't wanna wear such childish clothes!"

Mana wasn't outraged by his outburst, on the contrary, he seemed really amused. "It's fine, you're very cute."

Allen's cheeks darkened another shade. He was a boy, he wasn't cute for crying out loud! "Wah?! But I wanna be a cool clown! Gimme a break!" He pulled away his hands from Mana's face to cover his own. Stupid Mana! Buying something so expensive for him when he should have bought something of more importance! He wasn't worth this much!

As if reading his thoughts Mana's eyes softened as he patted Allen's head. "I'm glad you like it. Now the other one~!"

Allen uncovered his face when he deemed that his cheeks weren't so red anymore, but he was still too embarrassed to meet Mana's gaze. He carefully unfolded the paper. He gasped. It was a-

"A glove..."

"A mitten~!" Mana corrected. "I know how embarrassed you are because of your left hand, so this should solve your little problem." Next his eyes softened again. "But you need not to hide it from me."

Allen casted down his head. "I... I don't have a present for you Mana." He admitted. He didn't expect it, he had never celebrated Christmas before.

"Don't worry about that, it's your birthday after all!" Mana laughed.

"M-my birthday?! Since when?"

"Since it is exactly the day we met, the day you became my Allen!" he smiled warmly at the boy. "Even if we don't know your real birthday, I just want you to know that I'm glad you were born."

Allen's blush returned tenfold as he unconsciously tightened his new coat. "E-enough! Let's go get breakfast." _Thank you. For everything._

"Yes~!" Mana sang approvingly as if saying you're welcome.

After a meager breakfast - but at least breakfast - they were quick to head out to the main street. Since it was Christmas people were basically flooding the streets. Mana chose a busy spot and quickly dressed up for his performance. As he started people slowly formed a ring around him. More and more people gathered, cheering for the White Clown. Mana smiled at him, his eyes pleading for help. Allen sighed but nodded. The "competing" from their very first performance together always seemed to attract more, so Mana always "challenged" Allen. Needless to say, the crowd loved it.

As Allen performed he could feel the joy buzzing through his nervous-system. Even though he usually disliked being the centre of attention, for some strange reason it seemed really satisfying now. Even though all eyes were in him, the crowd didn't look him in distaste, they actually admired him. Their cheering made Allen's lips twitch in a smile. They loved that he performed, they loved him.

Their gain was surprisingly much, Allen has never seen Mana's tophat so full before. He could see silver and golden coins rattle in there and cash wasn't rare either. With this much money their next weeks won't be so hard to get by. Allen was overjoyed, it was as if happiness itself was flowing in his veins. Without thinking he jumped at Mana, caging him in a tight embrace. Mana was shocked for a minute but he too started laughing.

For maybe the very first time in his life Allen was laughing from the bottom of his heart. He wasn't a demon child, he wasn't a freak or a monster. He was just Allen, a boy who performed with a clown named Mana Walker.

_Mana..._

_You gave this to me..._

_You freed me, you named me. I hurt you, yet you still forgave me. You gave me a birthday, you gave me gifts. Even though you too are lost, you took a lost child in. You brought light in my miserable life. You made me feel glad that I exist. You made me feel _alive_._

_I can never repay you for your endless kindness. _

_Mana..._

_You made me happy._

_So please, let me stay by your side until the very end. I'll definitely find your brother. From now on I'll be the one to protect you!_

XXX

_It was supposed to be like that..._

_So why? Why?!_

"Why?!" Allen whispered as hot tears slid down on his abused cheeks. He ignored them, he just tightly held onto the rapidly cooling body in his arms. He heard voices behind him, but they didn't reach him. He could only focus on the hollow amber eyes were boring into his. The pain was overwhelming. It crawled up on his throat and squeezed all hopes out.

_How did it end up like this?_

He shook terribly as the poodle of blood grew around him and the lifeless body. "P-Please... Don't leave me... Don't leave me alone in this world. Please! Don't go! Don't die!"

_Not alone! Everything but alone!_

A scream of agony ripped through the small shivering body. "MANA!"

XXX

Aaandd, I'm officially a monster...

Ok a little explaining. I hope you read the Reverse Novel, cause if not then spoiler alert for you. While Allen was dragged away by the troop to get disposed of the Earl appeared in front of the injured Mana. It is unclear what happened to Mana, but the next day Allen found him he forgot his goal. According to Cross Mana hasn't been the same since Neah died. We don't know if Mana knew whether Neah was alive. Or maybe he knew and the trauma caused him to forget. And when the Earl came for him he completely broke down, losing the little sanity he had left.

However our Allen didn't know this. He thought that by hurting Mana with his non-human arm caused him to forget and lose his grasp of reality. Cross' angered blaming too, made him think it was his fault. So in order to repent, he accompanied Mana to find his brother. Here's the catch: Allen thinks that Cross is Mana's little brother. I have no idea why Mana said it was his little brother at Allen's description, Neah has black/dark purple hair. Could it be that the three of them, Mana, Neah and Cross were so close to each other that they regarded each other as brothers? I hope we'll get to know it one day.

Anyway, thank you for the support, it means a lot to me. Please do keep your good habit of reviewing me :)

Later~


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys, what's up? You didn't like last chapter T^T? Well this chapter will be quite depressing, sorry about that. And there's going to be a lot of flashback, it'll be in _italics_, cause I don't like to write flashback every single time. And for now Crowned Clown will be _**bolded italics**_.

Warnings and others are the usual. Enjoy.

Chapter 10

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Not like this.

Allen had finally found someone of his kind who cared for him. So why? Why?

* * *

><p><em>Winter.<em>

_Two years after their first encounter the boy and the clown returned to London, where it all began. As always the week of Christmas was always busy, they were certain that they could gain enough money for a few weeks. _

_The weather was colder than usual and snow fell heavily. During the daytime some of the snow would melt, only to get frozen at night. It was a great slipping hazard._

_It was really late when they arrived, the snow slowed them down significantly. The streets were deserted as everyone was at home, only few people were passing here and there. Though, probably they too were in a hurry to escape the cold as soon as possible._

_They could hear the sound of horseshoe hit the cobblestone behind them. A cab was approaching. Allen who was holding Mana's hand - a habit he picked up lately - pulled Mana to the side, so the carriage would pass by them. He loved holding Mana's hand, it was big and warm, completely covering his small, freezing ones. _

_This is how it should have been, the carriage passing by them as they searched for an inn to stay at for the night. He had never seen it coming. He never expected that the horses would slip and in their panic, get out of control. Allen froze when he snapped his head back to see a horse towering over him, balancing on its hind legs. He could do nothing, when the creature lost balance and fell, endangering him by crushing him to death._

_His heart skipped when familiar warm hands pushed him out of the way, making him land in a pile of snow. The bloodcurdling cry of agony wasn't completely blocked out by the snow. Driven by a completely alien fear, Allen rolled out of the snow, only to see what would haunt him forever._

_The carriage was turned up, lying on its side, while the horses ran away. The cab driver, not even thinking about the damage he caused, ran after them. Their luggage opened from the impact, clown props scattered around everywhere. Behind the carriage, just like 4 steps away from him, laid Mana unmoving._

_Everything stopped. Allen didn't feel the cold wind making him shiver. He didn't feel his soaked clothes clinging to him. He didn't feel the pain of the impact. All he saw was those amber eyes slowly losing their light._

_After the initial freezing passed, he dashed to the victim and collapsed next to him. He pulled the man's torso to his lap, gently slapping him to keep him awake. He realised with horror, that it wasn't working. He tried to shift Mana, when he realised his hands were wet... with something warm. Petrified, he turned his shaking hands to look at his palms... that were covered by a very familiar copper-smelling red liquid._

_Allen forced down the urge to gag, but he couldn't help but choke. Scorching hot tears swelled under his eyes, blurring his vision and his mind. Mana's body was quickly losing its warmth._

_Mana's smile. Mana's laugh. Mana's voice. Mana's warm embrace. All of Mana was fading away, just like the light in his amber eyes. His light, his ray of hope was disappearing._

_He didn't feel his own blood leak out of a cut on his temple, nor the stinging agony he felt as he put his weight on his left leg. All the pain was sucked away into the suddenly appearing void in his chest, right at the place where his heart was supposed to be. His own heartbeat was deafening next to the screeching silence that was Mana. Even though he was surrounded by people... He was alone again._

_His lips trembled as his throat constricted painfully. "Mana..." he choked out pitifully. His tears broke free, rolling down on his frozen cheeks onto the lifeless body he held. "_ _P-Please... Don't leave me..." he begged. "Don't leave me alone in this world. Please! Don't go! Don't die!" All hope was gone. "MANA!"_

Everything else was a blur for Allen. He sat by the body unmoving, even when it was covered by a white sheet - that quickly became soiled by the darkening blood. He didn't know for how long had he watched Mana, the only thing he registered was the arms that pulled him away from him. He screamed, trashed and scratched against the offending appendages. Against his wishes - to be let go - more hands joined and pinned him to the ground. The last thing he felt was a pickle of pain before he passed out.

When he woke up he was tied to a bed with an IV attached to him. After that, a doctor came in who explained the situation with such indifference, that his insides trembled from it. While he got away with a few scratched, bruises and a sprained ankle Mana- his throat constricted at the very thought.

His minor injuries healed within days, so he was discharged quickly. They were also... "kind" enough to let him know where and where would be Mana's funeral.

Lacking proper clothes, he showed up in the clothes he had since their first Christmas: the black, tight fitting pants, knee-high boots and the checked coat. Only a vicar and the undertaker of the town showed up. Allen didn't pay attention to any word he said, he tensely watched the as the cheap coffin was getting covered by earth. Every time the dirt hit the coffin, it seemed like he was losing small pieces of himself.

That fool. That damned fool. He saved a foul-mouthed brat on the account of his own life. He gave up his life to save a meaningless life, when he had such a strong desire to live and find his brother. How was he going to face Neah now? How was he supposed to tell the man, that his long-lost brother gave up his only chance of reuniting with him, to save some orphan he took in?

As the last bits of soil was shovelled back the undertaker and the vicar left Allen alone at the pile of ground. The hole in the ground was filled, but the one in his chest was expanding, deteriorating him. Mana was gone. He was alone again. That thought resounded in his aching emptiness. He didn't hear Its sorrowful cries anymore.

_**You're not alone. I'm here. I'm still here. I'm not going away. I will never leave you. Please Allen, please listen. It's not your fault. Mana saved you, because he loved you. Please listen and remember, that I'm still here and I love you; I'll always love you.**_

But Allen didn't hear a word, his grief blocked out the soft Voice he sometimes heard whispering to him. Nothing but Mana mattered to him. Nothing really mattered.

As the night settled he finally turned his back on the gravestone and wiped off his tears. He let out a sigh as he looked up to the cold and cloudless December sky.

Mana was gone. He'll probably never see him ever again, even in the afterlife. He felt cold... He didn't know which way should he head. He had nowhere to go.

_Let's go together, Allen._

However...

_Never stop... _

That was what he always said...

_Always keep walking._

He glanced back at the gravestone. "I'll try." He promised with a broken voice.

He turned his back on the empty graveyard and left in search for a place to sleep at.

* * *

><p>Allen didn't sleep at all that night.<p>

* * *

><p>"Are ya sure ya can manage on ya own?" the Ringleader asked. Allen nodded. All the money he had left was taken by the vicar and the undertaker of the town. He had nothing but the props and the clothes he wore.<p>

"'k then, show me what ya got."

Without word, Allen started his act. First, he juggled with balls, swords and other items he had in his luggage. Then he walked backwards, stepping onto a balloon. He then let the props in his hands drop one by one in his trunk and did some other acrobatic moves like back flips and walking on his hands.

"'k kid, that's enough." Allen stopped and got off the balloon. The Ringleader sighed nervously. "Look, it's not tha' ya don' 'ave talent or anythin' 's just... ya'r a clown aren'cha? Ya shouldn' look that... empty. Ya shoul' be smilin' or somethin', this is a circus ain't a funeral."

_**Come on Allen... Smile... I love your smiles... You have such beautiful smiles... Smile for me.**_

Allen nodded stiffly as he collected his belongings. He turned his back to the stunned Ringleader. It appears that he didn't expect the boy leaving for such reasons. "'ey where ya goin'? Ya'r almost in kid, just show some emotion! 'appiness, ange', sadness, anything'll do, just don' look so dead, kid!"

Allen didn't turn back. "Forgive me. I don't think I can manage that right now." Without any words of goodbye, he left.

* * *

><p>Since the circus didn't need him, he returned to doing odd jobs. He planned to visit all shops, but everything was closed, it was still Christmas after all. No one was working, no one needed a job done urgently. Allen sighed. No food, no money, no shelter... This is the worst... It's just like the time before he met Mana...<p>

His stomach grumbled loudly. Damn, ever since he met Mana he was fed at least once a day. He had truly grown dependent on the guy.

There was nothing else he could do, he was cold and hungry. It was late and way too cold to perform; he could easily get sick. There was no choice, he had to plead for money like a beggar.

He spotted a corner that was relatively busy and unoccupied. Ah, there he was, the first person to pass., a well-off man, probably a father too. "Excuse me, sir?" Allen addressed the stranger. "Do you have some spare coins?"

"Go home, kid." the man grumbled, but threw some pence at him.

"Thank you sir." the boy bowed gratefully as he pocketed the meagre offer.

A good ten minutes later two ladies arrived.

"Excuse me, ladies? Do you have some spare coins?"

The two turned their nose up, disgust visible in their eyes. "You're filthy." One of them said, then they left without leaving anything.

"Merry Christmas to you too." Allen commented dryly.

The next was a stocky old man. His reaction was pretty violent. "Begging for money? Don't you have any sense of shame?! Go and find a job, you delinquent!" He screamed at him then stormed off. Allen spat after him and cursed the bloke under his breath. He tightened the coat around himself. It may have been winter, but why did Great-Britain has to be so damn freezing?!

The following potential benefactor turned out to be even worse. He came across with a gang. "Oh, you want some money?" their leader cooed with fake concern. It quickly turned into a maniacal grin. "Then drop on your knees and beg like the dog you are." He laughed, the others joining him. Allen only gave an unimpressed glare, which seemed to piss the guy off. He grabbed Allen by his nape and squeezed painfully hard. "Come now Doggy, on your knees!" Allen refused to yield. With a snarl, the bully swung a punch in his way, then came more by his companions. By the time they were done, Allen was lying on the ground, curled in foetal position. The bullies lost interest quickly an decided to head home. None of them noticed that their pockets were lighter.

Allen managed to compose himself somewhat by the time a couple appeared. The woman was horrified seeing the fresh blood and wounds on him, while her husband firmly held her in place. "B-But Marcus-"

"Don't." the man ordered his wife as he practically dragged her away.

"B-But" she tried to protest, but her husband cut her off.

"Don't Lara, that kid is probably out here because his old man sent him to gather money for booze. Look at those wounds. That guy is clearly a drunkard, who abuses his kid." _No, Mana was never like that! He never hurt me on purpose!_ Allen wanted to screech this in that guys face, but the bitter reality of Mana being dead, clamped his mouth shut. "Even if you give him money, that bastard will only hurt him more. It's for the best if you just leave him alone." Now that he explained his opinion, his wife's objection ceased, however, her eyes didn't leave the lithe form. "What a sick arse." The man grumbled under his breath. "Monsters like him should just drop dead." He yelped when an icy snowball connected with the back of his head. His flabbergasted eyes met stormy silvers. "Never talk about Mana like that!" the boy snarled with venom, that made Lara flinch. "EVER!"

"Why you!" Marcus, ignoring his wife's shouting advanced to the boy and slapped him across the face. The sudden blow took the exhausted boy off-guard, making him stumble and fall on the frozen cobblestone.

Before Marcus could land another blow, Lara stopped him. "Marcus don't! He didn't mean it! Let's just go okay?" she asked as she collected her fuming husband from the ground. Her hands quickly found her pouch and handed the very few coins over. "We're sorry." She apologized. "Please, forgive him." She asked for the last time, before she dragged her husband away.

Allen glared at the pouch in the ground as if it offended him. That woman... that overflowing pity radiating from her made him sick.

...But he couldn't be picky now, could he?

Sighing for the hundredth time that day, Allen pocketed his earning.

* * *

><p>His hands jerked quickly to catch the balls and other items he tossed in the air while he was balancing over three balloons placed on one another. He wore an oversized clown suit with baggy sleeves and pants, his face painted stark white, a big red smile painted on his face.<p>

Round and round the balls flew in the air, one after another. Other children; some of his age, some younger, some older, along with their parents watched his performance with unmasked awe. Allen forced himself to concentrate on performing. He mustn't look at how they fawn over each other, how they express their love, how happy and alive they look together.

"Father!" Allen snapped his eyes at a running little boy. He had short brown hair with hazelnut coloured eyes wide with joy. Those twinkling orbs were set on an equally enthusiastic man's. The child ran in the man's way, who in turn picked the squealing boy up an embraced him tightly; tightly as if he wished to choke Allen.

The audience disappeared from Allen's view, their sounds were drowned out. He was floating in a dark and empty place, where the only source of light was those too. He gasped when the two turned to leave. _No. Don't take away the light! Don't leave me in the darkness! Come back! Mana!_

_**Allen, watch out!**_

He snapped out of his trance, when a well-aimed stone hit his forehead, making him fall off the ball.

"Show something else you lousy clown!" a kid around 12 demanded. The others let out disappointed noises, and the crowd diminished, leaving behind very few tip.

"Ben!" a high-pitched girl voice reprimanded as the owner of the voice punched the boy's arm. "We're sorry!" the girl apologized, moving to Allen, who packed the props as fast as he could. She too, picked a few balls up and dropped it in his briefcase. He looked around. The boy and his father were gone.

Before Allen could register it the little girl next to him had taken his left hand in her hands and pulled back the glove. "Are you alright? Your hand seems stran-AAAH!" she screamed out in horror as she dropped the deformed limb. "Mo-MONSTER!"

_**No!**_

Allen cried out in pain when another stone hit him. It was Ben. "Get away from my sister you, freak!"

Stones and rocks hit him like heavy rain.

_**Stop it!**_

"Go away!"

_**Cease it, fools!**_

"Disappear!"

_**Allen's not a monster! He's your saviour!**_

"Get lost, we have no need for the likes of you!"

_**I do! You do! All of us does!**_

Allen grabbed his things and made a run for it, trying to block out the hating words and dismiss the burning of his eyes.

_**Allen, please don't listen to them!**_

"Drop dead!"

_**No!**_

"Useless! Worthless!"

_**Lies! You're strong! You're brave!**_

"Run and never come back! There's no place here for you!"

_**SILENCE! Don't listen to them Allen! Allen!**_

Allen passed the boy and his father he had seen earlier, rounding a corner.

_**Allen.**_

He ran until his legs could carry him, squeezing his trunk to his chest.

_**Allen.**_

As if it could make that horrible emptiness in his disappear.

_**... I'm sorry.**_

* * *

><p>Cold air blew over in the abandoned graveyard. No surprise, everyone was still celebrating Christmas and prepare for New Year. Only a gaunt boy shook as he stumbled to a familiar, freshly dug grave.<p>

He was cold and he was hurt; despite his best attempts, he just couldn't make a living. He couldn't do this.

_Mana..._

He collapsed next to the headstone, staring at the dirty snow. He couldn't live on like this.

_**Allen?**_

Feared.

Abandoned.

Hated.

_Mana..._

_**Oh, Allen...**_

He remembered, nothing specific, just the feeling. He had been alone before. So why? Why did it hurt so much _now? _Why was that no matter how much he ate, the emptiness didn't go away?

_Mana..._

_I'm sorry. I tried, but I failed. I can't keep on walking when I have nowhere to go._

Outsmarting his control, hot tears slid down on his hollow cheeks.

_**Allen.**_

He didn't understand. He knew that this feeling wasn't sadness.

_**Baby boy. Allen; please listen. Please, Allen, listen to what I say.**_

Nor was anger.

_**You're not alone. I'm here. I'm here for you, only you.**_

It was a numbing emptiness...

_**Allen, please-**_

That made him feel-

"Do you want me to revive Mana Walker?"

Short, but I wanted to update already. Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry in advance, this chapter will be short. And quite mourful. Tell me if I managed to make it angsty, if I failed tell me what to improve so I can improve my writing. Thanks :)

Thor94: Yep, That Fateful Night has arrived at long last. I'll try to portray Allen's and Crowned Clown's thoughts and feelings to the best of my abilities.

ShyMaryButterfly: I'm doing my best to make the story dramatic and full of suspense.

Also thanks for the follows and favourites, they make my day :)

Chapter 11

An ominous, plump figure was towering over him as he sat in the snow with a wide smile, that had no warmth. The colourful clothes of the strange goblin-looking creature made him stand out of the monochrome night. He wore beige trench coat and white pants with green stripes; he had white gloves, oversized black shoes and an eccentric top-hat that had a creepy crescent moon curl around its rim. Round glasses hid the malicious golden eyes perfectly. He looked like a devil manipulating a human into a twisted trade.

_**He IS the Devil! Allen, listen to me! You've gotta run! **_- his Innocence panicked sensing the overwhelming amount of Dark Matter pouring out from the person before them, not even that goofy looking smile could hide his bloodlust. Quickly, they had to get out of here, they had to survive! If Allen died now, how would It be able to face Its guilt for taking the chance of normal life away from the boy? What could he say Allen, what was all this long decade of misery was for?

The psychological dam the boy erected warded off his warnings, making them bounce in the emptiness. It shivered. It could feel it again, that horrible feeling of hopelessness It felt for seven thousand years.

The question echoed in the void of Allen's heart. He heard a silent cracking sound that overpowered the faint, almost non-existent whispers in his mind. Revive Mana. That's impossible. Mana is dead, he will never come back. This person was bullshitting him.

...But what if it's true? This individual... He can't be human. Humans abused or plainly ignored him. The only reason why Mana took him because poor fella was not right in his head. A crazy clown who was running from-

"The Millenium Earl..." Allen found himself whispering. His voice was coarse from not talking.

The Earl tensed a little, then tilted his head to the side. "Oh~? You know me, Allen?"

So it _was_ him. The boy turned his dull eyes to the grinning phantom. "I heard you can turn people into Akuma."

The Earl didn't seem offended by this, on the contrary, he looked rather amused. "That is true~ I can call back Mana from that hateful and cruel God." With a flick of his hands, he summoned a metal cage where a strange skeleton was entrapped. It had no hands or toes, nor eye socket, however it had unnecessarily sharp teeth, that rather looked fangs. "With the help of your voice, I can tie your Mana to this artificial body I made. The two of you can be together forever~."

_**What a twisted forever you offer! Allen, don't listen to his lies! Run!**_

Call back the soul to the other world and tie it to a new body? A tempting proposal indeed. The Earl must be very powerful.

But he wasn't stupid. He knew that it had its price. A huge one at that. He always knew that. Everything had its reason. Everything had its price. His parched lips parted. "His soul for mine... right?"

_**Allen, no! Don't dare you even think about it! Stop it!**_

Surprise could be sensed from the Millennium Count. A person - a child - who knew about him, who saw through him, yet not feared him. Moreover, he was willing to bargain with his life as if they were talking about the weather. "You're a smart child. But even knowing the price for my services, you're willing to trade your life, Allen?"

"One, people don't do charity." Allen said as he stood up. "The seldom occasions too, are just morsels, not what others would truly need. And certainly not when such value is on the line. Two, even if I were to refuse, I think you'd still kill me."

The Earl chuckled. "Yes, very smart, very interesting. Too bad you're right. Maybe if we met in my white form we could have had talked over an afternoon tea. But you know the saying-"

"Business before pleasure, eh?"

"Exactly."

A strangely comfortable silence settled between the two. It was a morbid and twisted amusement that hung in the air, joking about one's death with such nonchalance. It was strange, they only met, they didn't even know each other. Yet, Allen felt as if he was talking with someone he knew from a very, very long time ago.

"You're going to die, Allen." The forced cheeriness in the Earl's voice was gone, instead an uncharacteristical seriousness could be detected in his voice. "Aren't you scared?"

His reaper was caring for his mental well-being? The Devil sooner felt pity for him than God? Hah, what a joke. What a twisted and cruel joke this life had been. Enough. This life, it was enough. He didn't want more of this hell. He didn't want to be left behind _over and over again_, he didn't want to be mistreated and ignored and abused and hungry and cold and hurt and _ultimately and eternally __**alone**__- To be reminded always that you're unwanted, a curse, a freak, a monster, a no one; who has nothing and no one and has nowhere to go; nowhere to belong to, no one to belong to; to know that you're a fatal mistake; that you shouldn't exist, that __**you**__**should have never been born-!**_

Allen forced his haywire emotions back. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He lost the strength to struggle against the bids of fate. Mana died because of him, because he protected someone who should have just disappeared from this world long ago. Mana was so much better than him, he deserved to live. The idiot should have just let him die. He could only shrug. "There are things worth to die for." If he could see Mana's face for even a flash, for the final time... Then maybe he could say that his life wasn't so worthless in the end.

After a second of hesitation the Earl accepted his answer. "...As you wish. All you need to do is to call out to Mana's name from the bottom of your heart."

_**No! Allen! Please, don't do this to yourself! Don't do this to us! Allen!**_

The boy exhaled great, believing it to be his last. Then, he inhaled as much of the cold air - if things went well he didn't have to feel it ever again - as he could, before he screamed out the name of his beloved. "MANAAAAA!"

_**NOOOOOO!**_

His voice thundered through the silent night. Suddenly light darted into the metal skeleton, not a moment later Mana's name was carved on the skeleton's forehead in cursive. The deed was done. There's no going back now. Finally, he could do something good, he wasn't worthless anymore.

_Hello, Mana._

The jaw of the skeleton twitched. "A...A-llen." The boy's heart leapt with joy hearing the voice of the only person who ever cared for him. Mana was back. Allen can exchange his sorry excuse of a life for his, he can undo his horrible mistake. Now Mana could find his brother, Neah.

_...Goodbye._

"You've made me into an Akuma."

Tears burned Allen's eyes. It was so unreal, to have Mana by his side again, even if only for a minute. His only gift from fate, to see the man whom he came to love as his Father again for a final time... However, he flinched when he felt something dragged down on the left side of his face. The boy stumbled back, touching where he felt dampness on his skin. A lump formed in his throat seeing blood. His Innocence cried out in panic and trashed in the restrictions Allen formed upon sensing Dark Matter in the boy's system. Before either or them could react wires curled around the young Apostle's throat and lifted him off the ground, ready to choke him.

_**No! God, please, no! **_

"Allen!" Mana's voice boomed with anger. "You've made into an Akuma! I'll curse you! I'll curse you, Allen!"

Curse him? Why? Wasn't Mana happy? Didn't he want to see Neah? Why was Mana punishing him?

Could it be that Mana regretted saving him?

The thought made his chest tighten, and now he was unable to breathe for a completely different reason. He readied himself for the final blow...

.

.

.

_**CRACK!**_

The boy watched in horror as his defective arm came to life, transforming into a huge silver claw and attacked Mana. Mana was flying back from the force of the hit. Just as the claw landed on the ground it started dragging the boy towards the broken skeleton.

The Divine Substance managed to crack the dam the boy erected.

_**I made it! I actually made it! I finally activated! I can finally save Allen!**_ With that thought in mind, the claw lunged at the Akuma, ready to save both.

_**Destroy.**_

"Mana! No don't do this to Mana!" he begged. He just got Mana back, he could finally undo his mistake, he couldn't lose Mana again! He couldn't bear the thought of killing him again! Mana NEEDED to live!

The terror-laced words and self-despising thoughts shook his Innocence to the core, every tear the boy shed only added to the agony It felt, but It didn't stop. The Akuma needed to be destroyed, Allen needed to be alive, even if the boy grew to hate the crystal for that.

_**Destroy!**_

Allen shook when a foreign feeling practically set his blood on fire. The need to use this claw... to destroy... to end Mana. _No!_ He attempted stopping by sinking his other hand in the ground. His nails broke and flesh was ripped open from the effort to keep himself anchored to the cold ground. No matter how much he held on, it was futile, the huge monstrosity was pulling him too strong. Realizing that he couldn't stop himself, Allen changed tactics and pleaded Mana. "Run! Run, Dad!" _Please don't die again! Don't leave me alone again!_

_**DESTROY!**_

The huge claw stopped to give Mana a chance to say goodbye. "Allen...I...love you..." The boy choked on his sob. "Please destroy me."

_**DESTROY IT!**_

Dark Matter flowed in the left part of his face through the cut. The vertical injury came to life. It twisted and ripped the soft flesh of the boy, rearranging itself. It took on the form of a pentagram on his forehead, then came down through the blackened - cursed - eye, it twisted to the left before descending again and ended like a teardrop. It also had a shorter line just under his socket. And then he saw _Mana _in the Akuma.

In a swift slash, the claw ended the machine, cutting Allen away from the hideous view, but it was too late. It took only a flash to engrave the horrible sight in his memory. Allen cried out in both physical and emotional pain. Bile rose up in his throat and he vomited. The young Accommodator crawled away from the mess and leaned against Mana's gravestone.

Mana... Mana... he looked like a rotting corpse that had a chain dig into his already decaying flesh. His life was sucked out little by little. But worst is that Mana was crying. He did such a horrible thing to Mana...He betrayed Mana...And yet Mana...

Allen didn't understand.

Was Mana in pain?

Was he scared?

Was he disappointed in Allen for not walking forward?

Was he angry at him?

Did he really want Allen to die?

Or...

Maybe...his brother was already with him on the otherworld...?

Did he separate him from Neah? If so, would he able return now that Allen called him back?

But then, why did he said he love him?

Renewed tears were streaming down on his face freely. He was so confused. He just killed Mana! But then why? Why and where did this sense of accomplishment came from? Why did he feel that way? He felt so sick of himself. _What kind of monster had he become?!_

"There is no freedom for the soul within the Akuma." A familiar voice said out of the blue. His eyes refused to focus, but now that he spoke up, Allen registered the presence of a human. The read-headed priest, Neah, Allen realised. The person Mana kept searching. He was still alive?

Allen felt a little relieved when he realised Mana's brother was safe.

However, that absolve was short lived.

This person was Mana's brother. The person Mana had been searching for. How could he even look this person in the eye? How could he tell the man that it was his fault Mana died such horrible deaths?

"You're trapped within it for all eternity, and you become the Earl's toy. "

Trapped. The vision in which he saw Mana flashed before his eyes. His stomach twisted again at the image. No wonder Mana attacked him.

"There's no way to help it other than destroying it." Destroy it? Was Mana asking to be destroyed so he could be free again? In the otherworld? Free of worry, free of the need to live his life as a fugitive, as a pariah? As someone who doesn't belong to anywhere or anyone? Was he angry at Allen for taking his long-desired peace?

Did this mean, that he actually did good? His defective hand, the part of him that moved to destroy Mana was doing good? Did that mean that the rest of him was evil? The only good in him was his ugly arm that mirrored the his own hideousness?

"Being born with an Anti-Akuma Weapon... What a destiny you carry." Anti-Akuma Weapon? He was born with a weapon? What did that make him?

"You too are someone who has been given destiny by God." Destiny by a God who abandoned him? Who took away the only one he loved? Who made him a freak?

No, he didn't care about that guy. The only one that mattered was Mana and Mana was-! ... Mana was...

How could Mana ever forgive him? How could he ever undo this sin he committed against him? How could he atone for killing Mana again?

How did Mana even manage to love him?

_Mana... Mana...Please, tell me...What should I do?_

"You wanna become an Exorcist?"

XXX

On a scale of neutral to crying (maybe I aimed too high? Waaay too high...) how much did this chapter depress you?


	12. Chapter 12

Another short and depressing chapter. They are getting shorter and shorter. It' been a while, I know, finals are on our arses, so now I'm writing as a stress relief. You guys mean so much to me, whenever I am close to having a meltdown I reread your comments and wonder how the heck did I manage to recruit follows and favourites above 60! Even though this isn't even a love story! So yea, thank you again for supporting me, I hope you'll like the way I twist the tale.

OceanSprings: Woa, I never would have dreamed that my words would have such impact on you. I'm honoured. Here's a free ticket to Feeladelphia. Enjoy your journey.

Darke13: Thank you for pointing out my mistakes, but could you be more specific where I erred? English is not my mother tongue so sometimes I find it hard to express with words. Sorry about that, I'll pay more attention to it from now on.

Thor94: Well, it might look forced, but I'll make sure he chooses the right path. In this story I'll show you how the Mask of Mana and Allen's complex character develops.

Hidden Leaf Assassin: Don't suffer alone. Come, board the feels train, my treat.

Chapter 12

He was sorry. He was so sorry. The same thought was repeating in his mind all over.

Ever since that night, his mind and body detached. He could still sense the world faintly, but moving on his own was out of question. He was locked away from his own body, unable to even lift a finger.

It's been like this ever since he met the read-head priest again. This time his black clothes had golden accessories, matching the golden creature that sat on his hat-covered head. When the taller asked if he wanted to be an Exorcist he noticed that he couldn't answer. His tongue felt dry, his jaw was stiff and whole body unable to move. He didn't know if he ended up saying something, nodded, or just his silence was taken as acceptance. He couldn't move from the cold that invaded his every pore, tearing into the numb emptiness. As his vision blurred, he realised he was lifted up and held to a warm body. With every step the priest took his body swayed. After what seemed like hours of marching in the snowstorm, at long last they arrived to a secluded cottage. Just as the warm air hit him he passed out.

But even in his sleep he couldn't rest. And when he was awake even his wide eyes wouldn't move, they were gazing in the distance unmoving. The memories of that snowy night replayed themselves in an endless loop. He didn't dare to fall asleep, but he always passed out from exhaustion and remained unconscious for a few feeble hours. He couldn't think of anything else, he couldn't move, he couldn't speak or call for help. What would it matter? No one cared for him anymore. No one would free him. There was no escape. He was trapped... in his own mind.

* * *

><p>The pain was excoriating. His face felt like it was on fire. This agony was the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. He tried to bat away the hands and scream in their faces to <em>fucking stop touching him<em>, but the arms held him down strong and only howls of misery left his mouth. As the pain faded so did his grip on reality.

When he was finally left alone he curled back into foetal position and remained unmoving.

* * *

><p>He heard voices sometimes. They tried to coax him into talking but it never worked. He pretty much lost his voice from screaming out in agony. He didn't understand the words, only some ciphers of it.<p>

"Won't...ke up...thi...ver?"

This voice...? It's Neah's voice?

Another voice spoke. "Don't... no...Cross...I..."

Cross? That was his name? Not Neah? Then who was Neah? Was he dead? Then who was this priest and why did Mana want to find him? Maybe he hoped this man could lead him to where Neah was? Just who was this person?

_**An Exorcist.**_

His heartbeat missed. This voice wasn't blurred, it was crystal clear. As if someone was standing near him, whispering in his ear. But that was impossible, he was caged in the deep recesses of him mind.

_Unless there was someone else in there too._

* * *

><p>He long lost track of the time he spent in that room, but he did know that the priest - Cross Marian would occasionally come up with food. In his current state he couldn't even lift a spoon even if he wanted to. He didn't want to eat when he constantly felt like throwing up. Food would never fill the kind of emptiness he had.<p>

Nevertheless, the other was persistent and went as far as pushing the spoonful of stew to his mouth. To both of them were surprised when his lips parted and closed around the spoon. It was certain now. Someone else was moving his body. And it forced him to live.

* * *

><p>His mind was crumbling he could feel it. The memories that were once so clear were just blurry images. He couldn't recall how he got to that circus or what was his life like before that. His only knew that he was angry, sad and incredibly lonely.<p>

The faces of people were just faint outlines, the voices bled into one another.

Even the memory of his father's face had no mercy. He remembered the top-hat, that annoying moustache and gelled-back black hair, a flash of amber... but that was it. He could swear that he heard his voice resound his head, but that other voice, that inhuman one always banished it. When he asked who it was, he only met silence.

* * *

><p><em><strong>...<strong>_

It was here again, that voice. His heartbeat sped up.

_**-len**_

Who? Who was it?

_**A...len-**_

Whose voice was this?

_**Allen...**_

He withheld his breath.

_**Come back...**_

Come back? For who? For what? He had nothing, no purpose and no one. Why would he go back? Why should be continue living? No to mention in such degrading and worthless state... unable to feed himself or clean up...Being taken care for like an infant. He just wanted it all to end... He just wanted to die already.

_**Come back to me please...**_

No way... This person missed him? ...Just who?

_**...I'll be waiting...**_

With that the voice was gone, leaving a strangely empty feeling inside.

* * *

><p>It hurt. It hurt so much to have Allen in such state. Poor boy after the failed resurrection fell into depression and lost a great deal of his sanity. Unlike the Crystal's predictions the boy didn't form hate towards the Anti-Akuma weapon. Unfortunately that meant that he blamed himself for the happenings, his self-loathing was eating him away.<p>

After the crack the forced activation caused, he retreated in the deepest corner of his mind. Without hesitation the Innocence dived after the probably suicidal boy.

It searched for the boy high and low, but for weeks he didn't find him. Why did Allen have to be so good at hide-and-seek again? Oh, right, must escape the ones who want to kill him... Which is pretty much everyone...But still! They were inside his head for crying out loud!

It had to get to him. Allen must live. They had to start their duty as Exorcist, now that they were the wing of Judgement's host, a Critical one. This way Allen too can see that laying Mana to rest was the only thing that could be done. Now where could that boy be?

It wanted to slap itself with the realisation. His memories! Allen would be most likely reliving his moments with Mana.

Quickly It scanned through the possibilities and soon It found the young host. He was seeing that horrible memory over and over again.

_**Stop it. **_

The endless loop stilled at the exact moment before Mana slashed through him.

_**Enough already. You know yourself that it wasn't your fault. You had no control over it. Allen.**_

A twitch. The picture tore. Allen reacted to Its voice.

_**Allen.**_

Again.

_**Come back.**_

The boy was hesitant. He showed a morsel of willingness. With a little persuasion maybe it could yank him out of this swamp.

_**Come back to me please.**_

It could feel the anxiety rise within him. Not good, he had to be given space. Allen had to come back on his own, out of his own will.

_**I'll be waiting.**_

With that It continued to watch the boy form his decision. Until then It would act as a link between the body and mind and wait patiently.

* * *

><p>He often wondered what really happened that night. Why did the Earl let him live? Why did his arm decide on transforming there and then? How come Cross found him?<p>

His arm... the supposedly deformed limb was ebbed with an Anti-Akuma weapon. The reason he was a social outcast was because he was born inheriting a weapon; a weapon that was created to destroy Akuma, people who ended up like Mana. But why would he of all people inherit such thing? Who would entrust such a powerful tool to a child? As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't survive on his own in the long run. In the circus he realised it. The outside world had no place for a freak like him. He could only bite his tongue and endure the knowledge that he could never leave that circus.

But then Mana came and took him away from that hell. He thought him many things like writing and other useful skills. He even went as far as giving him presents on special anniversaries. Mana overlooked his anomaly and treated him normal. He treated him like his own, as if they were family. He could only regret not expressing his love and gratefulness. He was selfish and arrogant, he'd never admit his love for the older. And now, it was too late. For him it was already too late. Instead of his heart, Mana met his claw.

Why? Why did this cross attach itself to him? It was a weapon of God, wasn't it? What would God want from him of all people? Why did He make him into such monster?

Or was it that because he was born a monster that the cross was morphed in his skin? God branded him, so the humans would know that he was a monster and they needed to stay away? And Mana, who got close despite the warning has met his gruesome end... Twice...

But according to Cross, that was the only way to free him. He had seen it with his own eyes. Just as the metal skeleton chattered, so did the chains that held him down. For once, he did the right thing.

...Then maybe that arm wasn't so bad after all...It wasn't the evil out of the two... He was...

Did this mean that this weapon was a gift? A chance to atone for being a monster? Could someone like him hope for such thing?

No, probably not. He betrayed Mana. God might have betrayed him, but he was much worse, he betrayed his own father. Would Mana ever forgive him? For what he'd done? For being a monster?

The words he left him were "Don't stop. Always keep moving forward." In the minute he destroyed Mana he felt as if he had done a good deed. Freeing Akuma was a good deed in Mana's eyes.

If he continued to do so... maybe Mana would forgive him?

He examined Mana's crying soul in the stopped flashback. He closed his eyes frowning. Yes. Mana wanted him to live. He would live. He opened his eyes again and gazed at Mana sorrowfully.

"I'm sorry." With that the loop shattered.

* * *

><p>"-you live Mana that much?"<p>

Allen perked up hearing Cross Marian's voice. It was much clearer this time. His body was still numb but the sensation was starting to return.

"Come one Allen, you remember what he used to say right?" Mana's make-up covered face popped up in his vision. He remembered the time when the two of the were laughing carefree. That time they eared an unexpectedly huge amount of money. Allen was so happy that he rocketed at the old clown and hugged him with all his might. "Don't stop." Cross quoted. "Always keep moving forward."

At the familiar words and fond memories his eyes for the first time in a long while watered.

"Yea," his croaky voice stunned the Cross, who after so many failed attempts, didn't hope for result. Hot tears slid down on his right cheek while it stained the bandages on the left. "Tomorrow, I'll continue walking and won't stop. Tomorrow... It's a promise."

Even though this was like the third time they were talking to each other, Cross understood him. The priest - now in casual wear - stood up and left to give him some privacy.

Tonight he would cry for the last time about Mana. Tonight he would let it all out and cry himself to sleep. Because from tomorrow on, he'll start his training as an Exorcist.

* * *

><p>Wow, thinking about this gave me the vibe of a bad horror story. You guys have no idea how many times I reedited this chapter.<p>

Allen mentioned that he first became an Exorcist to punish himself, so I thought maybe this guilt was what it took to choose this path. With time, his motives change, but the concept of 'fighting for Mana' is still there. I don't know if it's intentional or it's just Allen's memories are broken, but Mana's real face is always shadowed or covered somehow, so I'll blame it on the trauma. Mana might talk to him through the curse, but he wouldn't see the souls yet, not until he meets an Akuma.

Before you ask, I won't follow the anime outline, so no Nalain or Narein or whatever he's called. The only reason I included Mana's death is because I don't know the canon version. Was it mentioned in the character book how he died, or only the anime version? Whichever is the case, I chose to keep it to that Allen would feel guilty for Mana's death, since in his mind it's his fault. And as I mentioned I think his guilt was the main reason he collected himself from that state he was in.

I don't even understand why they made that episode, Allen already destroyed his father who turned into an Akuma, even if it would hurt, he wouldn't be near as devastated. Also, I'm a little disappointed since this is a modified version of Lavi's Reverse Novel "The 49th Name". Even though I love Allen the most in the series, I still think Lavi deserves more screen-time. He didn't have any major role since the Noah's Ark arc.

Okay enough rambling. See you next time. Review please.


	13. Chapter 13

Firstly, I'M SO SORRY ZIMITHRUS1, I FORGOT REPLYING TO YOU! Thank you for reviewing, I appreciate it!

Tinypurplegiraffe: I'm glad you think that. I too, dislike fics that intends to have a great plot, but mixes in romance. True, romance is a lovely thing, but most times the characters just hook up and you don't even know what they love about each other. Also, I want to see fanfictions that shows and strengthens friendships.

Thor94: Yes, sorry that it looks forced, but even with his foul-mouthed words I don't think Red/Allen could hurt others. The last time he was physically violent was when he wanted revenge on Cosimo. In his blind rage he ended up hurting Mana (and since he doesn't know that the Earl came that time, he thinks it was his fault Mana lost his mind). Since then he is scared of hurting people or letting them get hurt, so seeks comfort in the fact that he is saving humanity from the Akuma. Also, you don't have to worry about Allen being like the anime depicted him, I'll stick to the behaviour he displayed in the manga (end of Ark arc and being told he's the 14th).

Hidden leaf assassin: Sorry about your feels, this one will be lighter :)

As always, reviews are welcome

Chapter 13

Yeah, starting his training as an Exorcist... HIS ARSE!

Cross Marian, the man who nursed him during his depression, who now was his guardian... was an alcoholic womanizer! That bloody oaf practically threw - or rather shovelled - the money he didn't have to pursue his outrageous lifestyle! He accumulated debts then shoved them on the poor, unsuspecting Apprentice!

What was wrong with him?! How did he expect from Allen to earn that much money out of thin air?! Damn, he left the clown props at Mother's house. But even if he was performing there was no way he could collect and settle them! Was this guy making him repay that ONE COIN he gave them? Or its millionth worth?!

Thank god, there were no interest rate on the debts... He shivered at the very thought. He petted Tim to ease his stress. The golem was reluctant at first and bit him a few times, but with time he came to seek Allen's attention.

Since it was already spring there were more than enough jobs. The shops, hotels and restaurants were overflowing with customers; building constructions, that were put on hold during the winter continued.

He opted for being a restaurant worker or a shop assistant. True, he wanted to be the waiter first, but it was understand that no one wanted to face a child with such imperfections, so he had to deal with the background works. He had a total 14 jobs this week.

On weekdays he would wake up early, have his progressively harder morning workout, have shower, dress up and eat. His first job was delivering newspapers and milk. At 8, he would tend to the plants in the town's centre. At 9, he joined up the blue-collar workers who renovated a mansion inside-out. He helped with peeling off the crumbling parts of paint, carried heavy objects and had the weaker parts reinforced with cement, soon it would be ready to be painted.

He worked until noon, when he had a smaller lunch. Timcampy would come and settle on his head, waiting for a few scraps. When he was done the golem would flutter away to watch him from distance. But he changed on that habit when he was devoured by the 4th cat that week. Since then he nested himself in Allen's hair.

In the afternoon he'd wake the idiot from his beauty sleep and prepare him his breakfast. He'd also do the household chores and supply the idiot with clothes.

Allen sighed. After being done here, he had to go to the local hotel and help with the washing and cleaning. In the evening he would wash the dishes in the self-serving restaurant (and also eat the leftover food so it wouldn't go to waste. The same at the bakery where he cleaned the chimney. Of course, he would take some for his teacher.) Usually when he got home he couldn't fall asleep immediately. Even if his body was exhausted, his thoughts were wide awake. Until around midnight, he studied with Tim on his head, so in the future he could find better-paying jobs. And then it started all over again. Except for weekends.

On Saturdays he'd work until 2 pm, then went to the theatre to clean it and prepare the costumes, tend to the actor's needs for the evening performance, where he handled the curtain. This also meant that he was free to watch. After they play ended he put away the costumes then finally went home. On Sundays he would catch up with the missed sleep and dedicate the afternoon to studying or looking for potential better-paying jobs. And then he would go to the bars where he would earn some extra with gambling, mostly poker. He made quite a few man hate him, but that didn't matter, he needed the money. Yes, he was a busy man.

Sometimes he would indulge in chat with Cross's current woman, but usually they only stay for the meal then leave. Not that he minded much, he would only hear them say how _lucky_ he was to have such a wonderful teacher. Yea, _wonderful_. He was soooo swept off his feet. Damn red-head and his sex-appeal.

At first, he thought the guy was ok. He knew not to expect anything like Mana - no one ever could be as precious as he was - but he expected the guy to have norms. True, he's always been grumpy and quick to get annoyed, but he was still by his side during those hard weeks. His speech was rough and edgy, but he knew that he didn't mean bad. Although he was quite a sadist (a quality of him, Allen was quick to recognise), but he didn't cause real suffering. Sure, he would occasionally hit him on the head, but never seriously hurt him or beat him up like Cosimo did. He tended to throw empty bottles, but thanks to his keen reflexes Allen could always dodge - it was still pain in the arse to remove wine stains from the wall though. His master was just like a misbehaving teenager, unruly and stubborn, one who sought freedom and the company of women just to prove himself that he can. So all in all, he wasn't so bad... just insufferably irritating (though he could tell his feelings were mutual).

But still, despite they spent like a few months together, they started to get used to each other. He managed to pull himself together in a week at Mother's, even if he still lacked some of his strength (and he was still underweight).

Before they left, Allen's sixth sense notified him that he should ask his Master how he could activate his Anti-Akuma weapon. If they were hiding in society, they could be anywhere. He could be attacked any time, so he needed to be ready to defend himself. Not because he didn't trust Cross with saving him if he were in a seriously life-threatening situation (all the hard work of nursing him would have gone in vain and Cross hated to do things in vain). No, it was that he didn't want to be a burden, also the thought that he needed to be protected wounded his pride as a waif who grew up on the street.

It was a very wise decision since it turned out not much later that Cross preferred to watch from the sidelines as he fought - just as Allen predicted - either Akuma or debt-collector.

The Exorcist said, that if he focused on feeling the arm, then with a simple order he could summon his weapon. Surprisingly he managed to do so with not much difficulty. He just had to picture his claws and the cross in his hand would flare up. The enormous claw luckily weighted as much as his hand otherwise would, except that it had enormous strength and could rip aged trees apart or uproot them. Mother and Baba didn't have to worry about firewood for a while...

In the minute he deactivated, he collapsed to his knees. Again, the claw zapped a lot of his energy, his bones and muscles ached terribly and he struggled to stay conscious. He made a mental note to start working out again, he needed to be strong if he had a weapon inside of his body.

On the plus side, he noticed that his left arm was much more flexible, his movements were no longer stiff, he could move fluidly. Also, he noticed that the left part of his torso was much stronger. He had to work on the right side a lot to have his balance back.

The "Father" as Baba referred to Cross, just snorted and told him loud and clear that if Allen remained a weakling he wouldn't mind ditching him. Though he expected something like this. Still, company, however lousy it was, he wouldn't trade it, even if he were to be freed from all the...debts that accumulated under his name. When he asked questions (mindful to avoid talking about other Exorcists, since it made a grave look settle on his face. No matter how annoying he was, Allen didn't want to see him like that. So where was he? Oh yea, when he asked questions) after some successful nagging me managed to get the desired info out.

What he didn't expect was the impertinence of shoving HIS debt notices and expect him to pay for them. All of them, each sum would have been enough to feed them for a week or more and then this idiot would waste this much in a single night. And when he rightfully called him to account for his scandalous habits he had the nerve of waving him off to find jobs. That unabashed brute. The man made sure to deliver the message of "I don't care how, but do it".

But worry not, Allen let the man know fairly quickly that if he continued to act like a bastard, then Allen could be the most annoying brat he came across. Even if he chose to become an Exorcist to repent for his sins, he could say confidently that he could never commit a crime as grave as to receive such punishment.

He would usually bother him with small pranks, barely noticeable nuisances, that got more annoying the more you paid attention it: an overly spiced meal, an incorrectly ironed shirt, objects go faulty as he touched them... small things, but as they accumulated they spiralled into anger, one the owner couldn't explain. Once when a lady came over, Allen "accidentally" have water spilled all over her and get scolded by Cross too harshly for something this trivial. Allen took the "frightened and innocent child" card, and broke out in (false) tears, which led her believe that he only wanted to meet his guardian's expectations and was disappointed he couldn't. He had to bite his cheeks not to laugh at the quite humiliating scolding Cross got from her. What's more the woman led Allen away and spent the rest of the evening with the boy.

Even though, he fully expected some very humiliating punishment, he was surprised how easily he got away (clean the whole house). Maybe under the many layers of annoyance he caused the man, said man in a very deep part of himself was impressed.

Before he realised it, they were having an all-out war. Cross kept being an insufferable bastard while he perfected the art of being the brattiest and sassiest.

The only time they had truce, when they targeted a third party, or they were targeted by them. Especially when they decided to sucker debt-collectors. God have mercy on their poor souls. Now _that_ was fun. He never saw Cross laugh that much before. Allen couldn't say he was guilty about it, they often demanded him to "pay back with his body" with malicious chuckles. With a well-delivered punch in the gut, a kick in the nut and another punch in the jaw they weren't so high and mighty. But soon, they went back to making each other's life hell.

Sure, they agitated each other to hell and back, but it made his exhausting days bearable. It reminded him that when he came back, there would be someone at his current lodging.

He was surprised to see the man in the couch alone, with no woman fawning over him. It was one of the times when he spotted an Akuma. When he did see one, it was usually evening, when he went to have his well-deserved rest. Once, he bumped into someone and his eyes revealed that it wasn't human. Before it could shed its human skin, Allen ran to the outer perimeters, so he didn't put citizens in danger. Naturally, the Akuma followed him, as if it knew that Allen could see him and thus, had an overpowering urge to kill him. In the minute he brought forth his weapon, the Akuma took on its real form. Destroying it was a little difficult, since it wouldn't stop firing and was too high to reach. He lured it in the forest, where he could climb on the trees, scratching himself as he jumped from branch to branch, higher and higher. Once, he was close enough, he jumped at the Akuma and tore it in two. He returned victorious but spent, the invocation tired him out more than any other form of physical activity.

When he pulled his drained body back, Cross was there. He probably knew what he had been doing by the way his eyes swept over him. Allen only spared him a nod as he targeted his bed. He was surprised to feel his hand on his right arm, where his shirt was torn, he had a quite nasty gash there. Cross silently ordered him to sit down. Allen was ready to doze off but jumped when a cotton pad soaked in alcohol touched his wound. He remembered hearing the sound of shuffling before he fell asleep, completely ditching his studies in favour of two supplementary hours of sleep. The next day he woke in the same position, half-hunched over the table, but had his Master's coat laid on him. He had a note on the table, that it needed a wash already, but he got the message. At times, he could be okay.

That didn't mean that he stopped being an arsehole thought. But Allen was thankful that he treated him normally and not as someone who might break from the smallest breeze. There was a mutual understanding between them.

Except when Cross went a little overboard with his crankiness. Like today, when he awoke earlier and was still hungover.

"You're still here?" Cross mumbled as he stifled a yawn. He pushed the boy harshly aside from dishwashing so he could throw up in the sink. Allen had to restrain himself from pushing his head in his own vomit. "Clean this up" he instructed at the mess he made and headed for the shower. As the door slammed shut, Allen raised his hand to squeeze the bridge of his nose, but he buried his face in his hands as he heard the sound of retching. "You need a new pair of boots brat." The cranky voice called out.

Allen's hand tightened on the tap. That. Bastard! Did he know how difficult it was to find a decent pair of boots? Not to mention how expensive they are! He would play dearly. He just had to find the perfect method. To soothe him, Tim rubbed his temples, which helped a bit. He would get back at him, but with keeping his cool. He heard the water run.

His eyes widened at a sudden idea. Cross told him to clean up... apparently he forgot about the fact that they lived in an old house with old water-heater system. And if someone opened the tap of the kitchen, then the water in the bathroom would freezing cold. If his Master chose to be especially snappy, then as his student he had to remind him just how irksome he could be.

He let a small smile cross his face as he opened the tap. Almost instantly he could hear his teacher's high-pitched scream. He chuckled darkly. Yes, living with Cross wasn't so bad.

XXX

So yea, I think Cross is just an asshole, not some abusive molester, in his own way he does care for Allen. And I doubt Allen would be scared shitless from him through the behaviour he displayed (setting a tower of paperwork on his head, headbutt Tim in his skull and this is just the tip of the iceberg, I'm sure of it.)

Well, that's for now, see you next time. Don't forget to review, please.


	14. Chapter 14

No... reviews? Ok... I can... totally live with that... *sighs wearily*

A REVIEW! FROM SYCOJAY!

SycoJay: *checks meaning of yandere* Whoa, that's pretty hardcore. I'll think about it. Maybe this chapter too, is a bit yandere. Thank you for reviewing :)

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Ok, not much reviews BUT I have 70+ favourites and 80+ follows, let's stay positive, this might end up as a tolerable piece! I hope you'll like this chapter. Please review.

Reminder:

_Allen's thoughts_

_**Crowned Clown**_

**Flashback**

Chapter 14

Allen groggily woke up from the gentle swaying. Where-?

Oh, that's right, he fell asleep on the train on his way to the Black Order. His Master finally deemed him ready to be an official Exorcist. And then, that insufferable bastard knocked him out with a mallet. His head was still throbbing from the impact, even though it's been a good two months. Damn sadist, did he intend to give him a concussion or something? And he didn't even tell Allen, where he could find the HQ.

Allen was excited to meet them. He wanted to get to know other Accommodators, fellow Exorcist who would actually answer his questions about the origin of Anti-Akuma weapons and whatnot. Or why did this particular Innocence decide that Allen should be its Host. Sure, after finally getting the knack of fighting with it he got used to it, but he was still curious as why such a powerful entity chose a powerless child like him.

_**Physical strength is secondary. What we truly seek is a strong will and a strong soul. The body can be developed much easier.**_

Cross would only answer if he was really-really drunk, and well, the what came after was too much of a hassle, so he didn't bother.

The train stopped at a small rural town with beautiful landscape. He figured that finding Cross would be impossible, he might ask Mother, his supporter for guidance. Tim seemed to have problems with navigating him there.

Following a gently winding unpaved path, Allen found his way to a tiny church next to a lake. In the graveyard of the church a robust man was working. Allen recognised that person. "Long time no see Barba."

Said giant (with an unexpectedly cute face) upon seeing him was bewildered for a second, but then he dashed towards Allen, making the ground tremble with force. Unable to avoid him, Allen was squashed to the ground, right under Barba's iron grip. "Allen~! Huh?" he looked around confused. "Where's the Father? He didn't come with you?"

Noticing that the boy was close to dying, he got off him and hoisted him up to his feet.

Allen spat some blood out, secretly thanking whatever deities that the blow Cross inflicted was healed. "He has gone missing."

"Oh, I see!" he turned back to the church and shouted. "Mother! Allen has come back!"

The church door creeped open. "Allen, you say?" It was a short, white-haired old woman with a cane. Although she only reached Allen's chest, her demonic aura could make grown men falter.

Allen smiled at her. "It's been a long time, Mother."

* * *

><p>"...I thought that maybe you would know where the Headquarters are located." Allen finished his explanation as he picked up his cards. Mother invited him to a 'friendly' poker game. Which means he might get away with a few broken ribs. She wasn't bad person, really.<p>

"I'm in charge of this place while your Master is gone. I know Headquarters."

Allen sighed in relief. Finally, luck found him.

Mother gave him a stare. "You're really going to be an Exorcist? You prepared yourself for it, right?"

"Yes." He glanced at his left hand. Sure, he might have been born with an Anti-Akuma weapon, but he didn't decide to become an Exorcist, because it was his fate or he wanted to atone. Not anymore. What he truly wanted was-

He yelped in pain when an iron fist connected with his head.

Mother was looking down on him menacingly. "Did you think you can cheat against me?"

"I-it was just a force of habit!"

"Just what sort of life had you been living?!" the woman exclaimed then sighed. "You don't have to become an Exorcist you know. You could just defeat them on your own."

"True." He nodded. "But if I become an official Exorcist I can track the movements of the Earl and his Akumas using their intelligence network. I can even get into a lot of normally restricted places. The title of an Exorcist is really convenient."

"Well, I don't give a damn what happens to you." With that she began collecting the cards.

Allen was used to such blunt words, so didn't took it to heart. "So going back to the subject of where HQ is located..."

"Yeah, I'll tell you." Her smile sent shivers down on Allen's spine. "But it won't be free."

Yeah, she wasn't a bad person either...

* * *

><p>Night fell. The countryside was deserted except for the lone figure standing in the graveyard.<p>

"It's that girl." Mother explained as she pointed at a woman in black, outside the small church. "About a month ago she lost her lover to an illness, she comes here every night in tears. Her name is Riza. You will help her get back to her feet."

"Wha-? Me?" Allen asked in disbelief.

"Yes, you. Do it and I'll tell you where HQ is. Now GO!" she accented her order with a harsh kick. When he looked back, the old woman was raising her staff threateningly.

Yeah, he'd better go.

He left the church and approached the weeping figure. "G-good evening." He called hesitantly.

Large brown and teary eyes looked in his direction. Like a frightened kitten, the girl slowly started to back away. No wonder, females of rural towns usually feared him because of his scar. Luckily townspeople were more openminded.

"A-ah, it's okay! I'm not a suspicious." He reassured. "I'm a member of the church, I have just arrived recently."

She stopped. "You're a monk?"

"Yes, I am." It was a lie, but he had to stick to it. "It seems you come here every night. Are you alright?"

Her expression froze. And in the next moment new tears broke through.

Allen internally panicked, he didn't know how to deal with crying woman.

No, he can do this. Women are human too (geez, that came off pretty bad). Man, women, in the end they were humans with strong yet fragile hearts. He would hear her out.

As if she heard it, Riza began to talk. "I'm the lover of the person who is buried here." She gazed at the Cross tenderly. "When we first met, he already knew that he was dying from an incurable disease, but decided to spend the rest of his days loving each other. It was painful... I loved him so much, I stayed by his side until the end...

When it was time for us to part he said 'goodbye' with a smile on his face. Even through my tears, I managed to say goodbye too."

_So she's been left behind too, huh..._

"That... must have been hard."

_Losing someone precious... is always hard. _

_**But we still have each other.**_

Yes, he had a purpose, he had a mission, he had his Innocence. In order to stop the circle of tragedies, he must prevent the birth of an Akuma.

Riza turned her wet eyes at him. "Yes, it was. But, I accepted his death. If I don't live happily, he will feel sad in heaven." She moved to cover her face with her hands.

"But... your heart isn't ready, is it?" he asked soberly.

Riza looked at him. "Well, I was ready to accept his death, but-"

"Riza!" an unfamiliar voice resounded through the small graveyard. A fat, middle-aged man was approaching them.

"Doctor."

"I've been looking for you!"

"Sorry." The girl apologized.

"No, it's alright, as long as you are safe." The Doctor finally noticed him. "Oh, who you might be?"

"He's a new monk." Riza introduced him.

"My name is Allen Walker." He said as he bowed his head.

"A monk?" the Doctor wondered. "You are very young."

He smiled at him. "I was worried about Riza, so I talked to her."

"I see, how generous of you. Thank you for your help, but I took it on myself to bring her back on her feet." He gently laid a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Let's get you home. He won't come back even if you stay here."

Something changed in Riza's posture. "...Doctor." she started hesitantly. "I've been meaning to talk with you about that."

"Tomorrow, alright? You need rest right now. Please excuse us, Mister Walker." The man lifted his hat.

Riza bowed her head. "I'm sorry for making you worry."

Allen smiled at her. "Not at all, I'll be happy if you wish to speak with someone. I'll be here in the church."

* * *

><p>Since the problem was seemingly solved, he decided to leave. However, for some reason, he just couldn't shake his worry off. Riza just lost the love of her life, she's a perfect victim for <em>him<em>. He had to make sure she was alright. Well, it's not like he was in a hurry, he could drop by.

When he told his intention to Mothers the woman was smirking at him as she gave him Riza's address. Allen really hoped that she wasn't thinking of something in the lines of "well, it seems you _are_ your Master's student". Yea, Cross wouldn't hesitate to _comfort_ a mourning woman...

He was passing by a bookstore in the shopping district when he spotted a familiar figure. It was the Doctor from the day before. He had a paper bag with him (returned from shopping perhaps?) and a small paper in his hand as he looked around nervously.

His suspicious behaviour irked Allen, so he nonchalantly followed the man.

He walked to the corner of the shop where the telephone booth was. He took a newspaper to cover up the fact that he was eavesdropping.

"Yeah it's me!" the man shouted desperately in the receiver. "Yes, I'll make sure I'll transfer you the money by the deadline!"

Was he in debt? Allen lowered the newspaper to watch the man's reflection on the window. His posture screamed tense, he was even tapping his foot on the ground. "Yeah, I know the day after tomorrow. Just don't come to the hospital please!" with that he hung up. He sighed. "That damn user." he murmured in a malicious voice, filled with resentment. It was completely different from his attitude from yesterday.

The man once again pushed coins in the slot. Allen noticed that he was even more anxious than before, he was sweating. "Yes, it's me, sorry for intruding, knowing that you are busy. Today, I'll put everything in order for sure. When the time calls, I'll call you right away." He promised and yet again put down the receiver. An angry frown settled on his face as he kicked the wall. "Damn it, it's because Riza is being stubborn!"

_Riza? Just how did she end up in this mess?_

The worry he felt for her intensified. He decided to find her immediately.

* * *

><p>Riza's house was situated in a residential area, separated from the town centre. He was a little nervous about visiting the home of a woman he just met the day before. But he couldn't leave her alone. He took a deep breath as he knocked on the door.<p>

Riza stuck her head out. "Yes?" upon recognising him, she smiled. "Oh, the monk from yesterday. Allen, right?"

"I'm sorry for turning up uninvited." He apologized. "I was still concerned about you, since you left so abruptly yesterday. Here." He extended her the flowers Barba cut.

"Ah, thank you, they are very pretty, I'll put them in a vase right away. Come in if you'd like, I just boiled the water for tea." Allen thanked and entered the small house. He sat down on the chair as Riza bought the tea. To occupy himself, he looked around in the room until his eyes were attracted to framed pictures.

"He looks pretty worn-out, isn't he?" Riza asked as she settled poured some tea for him. "At that time, he could no longer get up from bed."

So this was the guy, who was buried.

"I'm sorry for leaving you just like that."

"No, I'm sorry for talking to you out of the blue." He remembered the face of the doctor. "Miss Riza, may I ask what is your relationship with the Doctor?"

"I'm a nurse." She explained. "He's a doctor at the hospital I'm working at. Ever since I lost him the Doctor would give me counselling."

Then judging from today's happenings...

"I-is your counselling expensive?"

Her face was blank. "Eh? No, he said that I don't have to worry about the money. He only said that I should do my best working."

"I see. Does he loan from you?"

"No he wouldn't. I don't have relatives so I have to make ends meet. Could it be, that you have heard of the rumours?"

Allen leaned forward, his interest piqued. "What rumour?"

"I heard that the hospital lacks funds, it might go bankrupt. The Doctor said it was fine, but I'm still concerned about it."

It made sense now why he was so angsty. But then how did Riza fit into the picture?

"Where did you meet your lover?"

"When I started to work as a nurse, he, Lenny, was already hospitalized." She fondly gazed at a photo. "Even though he was only 21 years old he took his fate. He even comforted me when I was depressed. Even though his body was growing weaker and weaker, he still remained strong."

She gave Allen to have a look himself. "Is this woman your sister?" he asked pointing to a brown-haired woman.

"Oh, no. She's Sara, my colleague. She's been looking out for me since her lover too, died two months ago."

"Really?" Now that was dubious. Two lovers die in such a short span of time?

Riza nodded. "Yes, he was a shoe craftsmen named Richard. He was run over by a carriage." Tears brimmed her eyes. "He was such a nice friend."

She wasn't only mourning for her lover, but her friend too. In a situation like this...

"I'm still... okay." She forced the words out. "I always knew Lenny would die soon. Richard died so suddenly, I can't even imagine what she's been through..."

Allen wordlessly handed her a handkerchief.

"I'm sorry for always crying in front of you."

"Cry if you fell like it, I still have several handkerchiefs." He reassured. "Yesterday... You wanted to tell me something."

Riza's eyes turned fearful and she turned her head away. "I-I can't tell you."

"Try me." Allen insisted gently.

The girl squeezed her dress until her knuckles turned white. "I... I want to see him..." Tears continued to fall from her eyes.

Was she spending her days like this? Crying all alone?

"Excuse me, do you have any business to take care of?"

"No, the counselling is in the evening, I'm free right now."

In that case, Allen had to cheer her up.

"Great. Could you give me a tour in the town then?"

* * *

><p>After eating and visiting some of the shops. As they left the shopping district they climbed up on a hill. Since Riza was a nurse who often carried bed-ridden patients. They sat down on the top. The hill overlooked the peaceful countryside. Fresh wind caressed their faces.<p>

"We often came here, Sara, Richard and I. In the summer this place would look like as if someone had spread out a yellow carpet. In the summer, the green colour of the grass intensifies. And then the tassel flowers, the whistle flowers and the british yellowheads would bloom." She plucked a purple flower between them. "Whenever I came here I would bring flowers for Lenny. I wanted him to feel the changing seasons..."

"I lost someone important too." Allen spoke up. "His name was Mana, my father. He adopted me. I was abandoned by my parents, he picked me up. Although, we weren't related by blood, he raised me. He loved me. He was irreplaceable for me. When he died I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I wanted him back since he was the only one I had." He got a curse in return.

"How did you get on your feet?" she asked timidly.

"There was a person who picked me up. Though it's still hard for me to remember him. Even if he's dead we had a wonderful time together. That's why I can still smile and live on."

A particularly strong wind blew past them, taking the flower out of Riza's hand. A shy smile settled on her face. "...You're right. The days I have spent with me haven't disappeared."

The two smiled at each other. They remained until sunset. Realising the time, Riza stood up. "The hospital! I still have an appointment with the Doctor."

"Let me escort you there." Allen offered.

In about 15 minutes they arrived to the rather large building. "This is a fine building." The young soon-to-be-Exorcist remarked.

"Isn't it? We have equipment that is rare for a rural town like ours." She said proudly.

_Building and managing a huge hospital like this is sure costly. Just how on earth do they plan to pay it all back?_

When they entered the building Riza turned back to him. "Thank you for keeping me company. I'll be going now."

"My pleasure. Take care." He said as he waved her off. The girl looked like as if she was freed from a huge burden.

"Riza!" It was the Doctor. Allen turned his gaze away, but he still listened to their conversation. "I've been looking for you." The man said frantically. "We need to talk! This way!" he said as he started dragging poor woman non too gently.

He had a bad feeling about this. Without hesitation, he followed the pair.

The two entered a room. Allen opted to watch them from outside.

Riza was sitting on a bed while the Doctor sat in front of him. "Riza... Isn't it time that you decided?"

She looked down with a frown. "Doctor... I really don't know."

"What are you saying? This is the best for your healing heart." The Doctor insisted.

_Healing heart... Bankrupt Hospital... Doesn't take her money..._

He placed a hand on Riza's shoulder. "The two of you were in love back then. Don't you want to see him once more?"

_Once more..._

"You can see your beloved again. Don't you want to hear his voice? Don't you want to see his smile? I'm sure he wants to see you too."

_Don't tell me..._

"Everything is ready. You only have to make a reservation through phone and then he'll come to bring you back his soul."

_He'll come? Bring back soul?_

**-malicious golden eyes glinted behind round glasses-**

_Could it be...?_

_**The Millennium Earl**_ - a Voice - THE Voice spat with venom.

Riza shook in her seat. "I want to see him... I want to see him so much, I could die..."

**If he could see Mana's face for even a flash, for the final time...**

_No. Don't. Don't do this, Riza. That path... is empty. It only leads to destruction._

The Doctor's face immediately shone. "Great! I'll call him right away!" he turned to take the receiver so he could call that person.

"I want to see him..." Riza repeated, stopping the Doctor in his tracks. "But... you don't have to revive him..."

At that moment, the Doctor's expression changed completely. It morphed into undeniable fury. He looked like a completely different person. He pulled out a cloth from his pocket and held it in front of Riza's face. Riza's stunned eyes met his cold ones. "Tenacious little crybaby. I'm at my limit! I don't care about your consent anymore." Riza's eyes were using their focus. "I've kept him waiting long enough. I'll make you cooperate no matter what." Riza's eyes dropped and she collapsed on the bed with a dull thud. Breathing heavily, the Doctor grabbed the phone to make the call.

As if Allen would let him do that! He jumped over the windowstill, grabbed the telephone dial and tore it out of the wall. The Doctor stared at him in astonishment. "Making a phone call to the Millennium Earl, Doctor?" he asked as he let the torn cable fall to the ground.

The Doctor's hand disappeared in his pocket. Allen kicked off the floor and grabbed the man's left hand, which held a gun. He squeezed it until he was forced to drop the weapon. Even though he was smaller with two heads, he easily overpowered him. He trained to be a soldier and take on opponents much stronger than him for 3 years after all. Meanwhile, his own left hand caught his double-chin and held it in place, maybe even with more force than needed. The Doctor made a gurgling sound in his throat, he was obviously suffering.

Good.

His ice cold eyes glared holes in the petrified man. "I've heard of people like you before. In exchange for money, you prepare the 'ingredients' for Akuma. You're a minion of the Earl." His hand tightened around his already choking throat. "You're called brokers aren't you?"

"Wh-who are you? A messenger of the Earl?" Since Allen stayed silent, the Doctor continued to talk. "I-I know it's my fault for passing the deadline! But that man just wouldn't die!"

Since he was a doctor he was bound to meet people at their death-beds. That's how he met Lenny too.

"I worked hard with the ingredients."

Ingredients? Those were _lives_. _Human lives_.

"That woman didn't expect a thing as I served him poison bit by bit... So I could speed up his death. I created the best tragedy! Even the Earl would be interested in these two."

Hot. Anger was boiling inside his veins. "It wasn't a tragedy. She was ready to accept his death." He spoke in such a low voice, he didn't even recognise as his own. "You were an interference while she was trying to heal her heart." The strength in his hand wouldn't lessen, his fingers dug cruelly in the man's throat, making a grinding sound.

_**Destroy him. Destroy the enemy of mankind. Destroy the enemy of the Apostles. Make him disappear.**_

The door was thrown open. Allen recognised her, it was the woman from the picture, Sara. "Release your hold on him!"

Allen's eyes softened. "So you're also a victim of the Doctor."

"What are you talking about?" she asked nervously.

"My left eye can tell Akuma from humans apart. You're Richard, the craftsman who wears Sara's skin."

"Silence!" she roared. With low groaning voice wrinkles appeared on her face and spread around her body rapidly. Bloody tears fell from her eyes as she flung away her human skin, leaving only the Akuma behind. The cannons were pointed at him.

_**Here he comes!**_

With nimbleness he dodged all the bullets flying in his way. He landed on the bed where Riza was sleeping.

_If she stays here, she'll get hit!_

He had to put an end to this. With that in mind, he raised his left hand to his hand, right above his heart. "Cross that dwells within me, give me strength to destroy the Akuma."

The cross on his left hand let out a dazzling light. Shifting itself into lightning, it ran up on his entire arm, wrapping it all up. His left was now covered in an armour. His arm grew as large as his body, his fingers curved into claws. "Richard, Sara, I'll free you know."

_Let's go._

He jumped up and swung his arm down like an axe. His claw broke through the Akuma's skin with ease. "Rest in peace this time." With that he yanked his arm out, tearing the Akuma in half in the process. He saw the chains break and a peaceful expression settle on Richards face. Then the Akuma blew up.

Allen gazed at his left hand.

He put them to rest. They weren't suffering anymore. He did the right thing.

"UWAAAAA!" he came to his senses seeing the Doctor crawl out from wherever he hid. He had some awesome luck to avoid getting hit. He scrambled to his feet as he targeted the exit.

Allen's left hand twitched.

_This... this... IMBECILE! MONSTER!_

Killer of his _own_ kind!

_Traitor_ of humanity!

If Allen let him go, then the cycle of tragedy would never end. He'd just continue where he let off. He had to be punished. This grave sin cannot be forgiven.

His claws itched. He desperately tried to calm his wildly pounding heart.

...But his anti-Akuma weapons weren't made to kill people. They are meant to destroy Akuma.

However, this person... he allied with the Creator of Akuma. He had to face judgement.

Just as the Doctor reached the door, it flew open by itself. Mother thundered in. "YOU SHAMELESS MAN!" she cried as her fist sunk in his face, knocking him unconscious. "I'll beat some sense back in you!"

If he didn't see the tiny woman knock down a guy at least three times bigger than him, he would have never believed it. "U-um Mother, what are you doing here?" he asked hesitantly.

"You were late coming back, so I came looking for you. Then I saw this whole fiasco."

Mother held her hand up with a folded paper. "Here, HQ's location."

Allen took the memo from her.

"Geez, what disgusting times are these...? It's a good thing that you came. Go, leave the rest to me." She gave him a sharp look. "Why did you decide to let him go?"

Allen wasn't sure himself. He wanted to kill him, yet he feared it. Did he have the right to kill? Could he kill in the name of humanity?

Or maybe... he trusted that the Earl would do the dirty work for him?

Brokers were easily replaceable after all, if one failed he'd just find another one.

"Because he was human? You're naive. I thought you said you were prepared. Your enemies won't just be the Millennium Earl and the Akuma. There will be considerable amount of humans too who will side with the Earl. Some of them might not do it for the money. There might be those who actively want to annihilate humans or those who think they should destroy this world. When you confront those kinds of people, what are you going to do?"

He couldn't tell if he was able to kill another human...

_**No worries. That 's why I'm here. **_

He didn't know... "I'm sorry."

Allen fell back as his face was punched. "You idiot! You're still completely weak! I thought you wanted to become an Exorcist! You think you'll be able to overcome the Millennium Earl the way you are now? If you can't treat yourself more valuably, you won't be able to treat others the same way!"

_**No, the problem is that he values others too much, you see. He's quite a handful, my baby.**_

"Do you want to be an Exorcist just because you want to destroy Akuma?! Gain true strength!"

Allen was taken aback by Mother's speech. To him, the concept of humans siding with the Earl has always been unreal. Like, why on earth would someone serve a sociopath who wanted to kill everyone?

...No matter. He had to become stronger. People killed each other because they were scared. Scared that they'd return and overthrow them.

In order to prevent that he had to become strong. Strong enough to defeat his human enemies without killing them.

* * *

><p>So that's for now, an abridged version of the Reverse novel because I'm royally pissed at the anime for fucking up the homicidal-looking-Allen scene by completely leaving it out. Because wondering about ethical questions like "do I have the right to kill?" and such are overused clichés, right? Why add another layer to the main character? Really, who the fuck cares about Allen? Well, I actually care, fuck me right? And I wanted to see those women show their interest in Allen! He's already at the age where he appeals them! ALLEN DESERVES TO BE LOVED!<p>

Argh! So frustrating.

Whatever. It can't be helped. At least if some day, in the distant future they decide to continue the anime - I know there won't be reboot, they didn't make one for Kuroshitsuji either (cries in hungarian) - then I hope they will do it _according_ to the manga 100%. With dark Allen and all.

Please review.


	15. Chapter 15

Soon, finals will be over for everyone. Those who are done have a nice summer vacation. Those who are not, don't give up, it will be over soon. Whether you're done or not, please enjoy this chapter.

As always thank you very much for the reviews, follows and favourites. I never would have thought I'd recruit such a reader-base :D

Deathstarling556: Thank you by the way :P :D

Not-Gonna-Update: Yep, Allen is Crowned Clown's baby, they've been together from the very start and most likely stay together forever.

Black Hearts24: This is what I always say :D

Darke13: He doesn't hear him. Yet. :3

And finally, I take up the thread of the manga woohoo!

Remember:

_Allen's thoughts_

**_Crowned Clown_**

Chapter 15

Allen panted heavily as he climbed the mountain where the Headquarters could be located. In order to do so, he strapped his luggage to his back, so both of his hands were free. "Why?" he wheezed as he pushed himself further. "Why the heck did they build this place all the way up here?" He let out a sigh of relief when he reached the top. With his last strength he hoisted himself up and sighed again. "I finally made it. This is the main Headquarter of the Exorcist. Right?" There was no way he was lost, right? He followed Timcampy so it should be fine, right? This place was really creepy, it reminded him of a prison. "Is this really the right place, Timcampy?"

_**Yep, I can feel other pieces from there.**_

His small golden companion nodded eagerly. "Then let's get going." Allen strapped off his luggage and rolled off his sleeves to cover his arms again, then aimed for the enormous tower. As he got deeper into the woods that surrounded the building he noticed more of the bat-like creatures flying around. They were probably golems too. When one approached him in hearing distance he didn't hesitate to use it as an intercom. "Excuse me. I was sent here by Priest Cross Marian, I'm Allen Walker. I would like to discuss some issues with the priests."

He heard hushed voices on the other side, but then a male voice addressed him. "Take examination from the Gatekeeper from behind you." Oh, so that huge face wasn't just for decor? Oh, now that he paid attention it really seemed alive. "Nice to meet you." He greeted politely.

Instead of a reply he got a huge face tower over him. To his surprise some kind of light erupted from his eyeballs. He blinked twice then abruptly the giant face started screeching on top of its lungs, shaking the whole mountain to the core. "THIS GUY IS OUTTA HERE!"

He was completely dumbfounded.

"THIS GUY IS A BUG! THE PENTACLE ON HIS FOREHEAD IS CURSED! OUT, OUT!" it carried on wailing. "THE PENTACLE IS THE MARK OF THE AKUMA. THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY A FRIEND OF THE MILLENIUM EARL!"

Wha?! Him?! A friend of the Earl?! What kind of sick joke was this?!

Over the continuing sobs of the Gatekeeper he noticed a black form land on top of the gates. It was a katana wielding Asian guy, who had black slacks, black steel reinforced boots and an unfastened coat, that revealed his bandaged chest. He must have been in a hurry. On the other hand, Allen concern bloomed in Allen. This person was obviously injured, what was he doing here? Even if he wasn't danger, they shouldn't send out an injured soldier!

Said teenager was glaring him intensely as he drew his sword. "You have courage, coming here alone."

His Innocence felt the other invocate and immediately rang the bells in Allen's head. He's going to attack, Allen realised. He held his hands out in a placating manner. "Wait! I think you have mistaken me for some-!" in the heat of the moment he activated his Innocence and jumped back just in time, to block the slash that was aimed at his head. He hissed in pain and glanced at his arm. He was shocked to realise that the sword broke through the metal wrapping. This guy injured his Anti-Akuma weapon! The Weapon that can withstand an Akuma bullet... With a single swipe...

_**I'll be fine, just don't lose focus, Mugen's wielder still wants to kill you!**_

There was no mistaking it, that sword was an Anti-Akuma weapon. He noticed that the samurai boy was touching the edge of the blade. Did it dull?

_**That's what you get for attacking my Allen, girly boy!**_

"Hey, you." His attacker asked. "What's with that arm?"

These guys weren't really that prepared were they? Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea? But this way he could keep track of the Earl's movements. "This is an Anti-Akuma Weapon." He replied somewhat irritated. He never liked it when people damaged his stuff.

"What?" the other asked, then his expression darkened. "GATEKEEPER!" he roared threateningly.

"But if I can't determine his insides how can we know for sure?"

"I'm a human! I might be cursed, but I'm still a nice human!"

"Don't touch me!"

Pretty boy ran out of patience. "Hmph, whatever. If I check your insides we can know for sure. I'll slice you with this Mugen."

Against what common sense would say, Allen didn't invocate as he held his hand out. He couldn't attack this guy, he was injured for Christ's sake!

_**Allen. Baby. Darling. Sugarplum. When a homicidal samurai or any other person with murderous intentions attacks you, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR HEALTH. **_

But of course, the boy didn't hear. Even if It managed to worm Its way into Allen's subconscious, it would take time until Allen opened up to his weapon. "Wait, really I'm not your enemy!" the young Host insisted. "You should have gotten a letter of recommendation from Master Cross." A shiver ran down on the boy's spine as the katana stopped millimetres away from his face.

A certain piece of Innocence more than eager to return the gesture.

"A letter of recommendation?" the older asked sceptically. "From the General?"

"Yes a letter." The white-haired boy replied. "Addressed to a person named Komui."

Again the sound of shuffling could be heard through the line, meanwhile the black-haired teenager kept his sword in his face.

Allen was surprised to hear the sound of creaking, they were opening the gate. Another voice spoke up from the intercom. "We allow you to pass, Allen Walker."

However, the blade didn't move from his face. "Wait, Kanda!"

"Komui, what's the meaning of this?" Allen's attacker, _Kanda_ asked.

"I'm sorry" The person named Komui sang, clearly not sorry at all. "To put it simply, this child is the General's pupil. Timcampy is with him, that is the proof. He is on our side."

Despite that Kanda didn't retreat, he kept the threatening position.

_**You want a fight she-he? We can do that. Just you wait until Allen gets serious.**_

But the desires were denied when a clipboard hit Kanda on the head.

"Gosh." Allen was saved by another Asian person, a female this time. She was around the same height as Allen and wore a tight fitting version of the boy's coat and miniskirt. The rest of her legs were covered by black thigh high socks."I told you to stop!" she chastised Kanda. It seems in the heat of their glare contest they failed to notice her presence, so she resorted to harsher methods.

_**You didn't have to enter, we would have kicked the pretty boy's arse. But nice to meet you I guess, you look normal. You're the first Accommodator we meet who can say that.**_

"Enter." She ordered.

Kanda finally let his "prisoner" go and all three of them entered.

"I'm Lenalee, the assistant of the Supervisor." The girl introduced herself. "I'll take you to him."

"Nice to meet you. Ah, Kanda." The boy called after the guy before he left. He was greeted with a heated glare. "That's your name, right? Nice to meet you." Allen said as he held his right hand up for a handshake.

"Who the hell would want to shake hands with a cursed person?" with that he turned to leave.

Allen's polite smile twitched on his face. Discrimination was strong in this one.

_**I'll remember this next time we meet she-he. We'll tear you to shreds.**_

"I'm sorry." Lenalee apologized. "He just got back from his mission and he's a bit tired." The girl gave him a quick tour around the building, then led him to an office, where he met a tall curly-haired beret wearing individual. He wore a coat similar to the girl's, but it was white. "Hello, how are you doing today?" Allen recognised this voice, this was Komui, who spoke through the intercom. "I'm Komui Lee, Supervisor of the Science Department." He gestured to a stairway that led down. Allen followed him, Lenalee the last. (A/N.: Allen is not forgetting his manners here. Yes, regularly the ladies first policy goes, but on stairs the male is the one who's on the lower steps whether going up or down. It's in case the girl trips the male can catch her. So yea, Allen's just being precautious as always.) "I welcome you, Allen. There was a little bit trouble earlier, eh~?" For some reason Allen felt as that this guy had something to do with it. He was led to an operation room.

"Can you show me your arm?" Komui asked.

"Huh?"

"A while ago, you were attacked by Kanda and your weapon was damaged." He smiled reassuringly at Allen. "No need to hold back."

As instructed Allen sat down. Hesitantly the boy removed the wrapping on his left hand and rolled up his sleeve to expose the red arm that had a scar on its surface and trembled a little.

"Looks like the nerd cords are damaged. Lenalee, bring the anaesthesia." The scientist instructed, then turned back to him. "Can you activate it?"

"Ah, sure." The boy replied, summoning his Anti-Akuma weapon. The man let out a surprised gasp, then knocked on the hard metal surface.

"You are a Parasitic-tpye~" the man sang cheerfully.

"Parasitic-type?"

"Yeah. It means you're a compatible person who can turn his body into a weapon." The man explained. "Out of the many different types of Anti-Akuma weapons, it's the rarest type." He turned away, to pull out a helmet, a huge injection gun and an exaggeratedly large drill. "Since it synchronizes with the body, it's more likely to get affected."

"What's with all that gear?" Allen asked suspiciously. He didn't mean to use those on him, right? The situation wasn't so bad, was it?

_**Is it even possible to repair me with human ways?**_

"Hm? It is to repair your arm." Damn, nailed it. The drill came to life, letting out an unpleasant squealing sound. "It's a little shocking actually. If you don't want to experience trauma you better not look. Go~!"

Allen screamed out in pain, since the bastard didn't wait for the painkiller to kick in and started operating immediately. He could feel his muscles and joints pop under the pressure and it HURT damn it! He was sure the curly guy was getting some sick enjoyment out of this. He probably operated here, so the screams of his victims/patients would shook the tower to the core.

_**Ticklish. But we'll still get our claws on him.**_

After the torture - that was supposed to be treatment - ended, the wobbly teenager was led away to an even deeper level via lift (elevator for U.S. readers). His left arm, that would hang uselessly, was put in a sling.

"Your arm won't move, because of the anaesthesia, but it's all fixed." Komui sang merrily. Yep, definitely a sadist. It's better to keep distance from this guy.

_I'm never going to damage this arm again._

As if hearing his mental complaints Komui laughed. "Now, now. There are some side-effects, but Parasitic types are rare. Your type is the best at activating the power of Innocence."

_**Oh, so that's how humans refer to us. **_

They were close. The divine being could feel Its siblings under them.

"Innocence?" the young Accommodator repeated, not sure if he heard well.

Suddenly light flared up, illuminating five people sitting above them. "You possess the Innocence of God. The power of all intellectual omnipotence." A voice rang out. "Yet again, I have gotten my hands on a God."

_**I only belong to my Allen, thank you very much.**_

"Those people are our boss, the Great Generals." Allen recognised the mischievous glint in Komui's eye. "Show these people your value."

Allen was dumbfounded. "Wait, what?" He flinched, when transparent hands got a hold of him and lifted him several metres above the platform, his left arm in a vice-like grip. He was astounded to see a building-sized serpent or dragon looking, eyeless woman. "What?!"

"Ino-Ino-Innocence..." she doted in a reverberating voice. Small hands detached from her and buried themselves within the deformed limb. Allen could feel them wiggling under his skin, it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

_Ugh. My Cross, activate!_

Allen gasped in surprise, seeing that his weapon didn't react to his command.

_**The nerves are numbed. Without a neurotic signal or invading Dark Matter, I can't do shit!**_

"Impossible." The Supervisor warned in the same cheerful voice. "The anaesthesia won't wear off until tomorrow. Your arm won't move."

_**So the point wasn't to avoid my Allen from feeling pain, but to numb his senses. Welcome on my hit list, you bastard.**_

"Komui!" Allen groaned with a promise of pain.

Komui laughed it off. "Your Cross is really beautiful, Allen~"

_**We'll see who laughs when my Allen punches the living daylights out of you. I don't need to be activated to squash maggots like you.**_

"How is it, Hevlaska? How is this Apostle of God? Does he satisfy your needs?"

_This feels terrible. It's almost as if it's searching inside of my body!_ He glared at his unmoving left arm. _Move! _

_**No, don't, we're not fully synchronized! Calm down, she's no harm.**_

_Come on, activate! Move! _Allen couldn't take it anymore, he shouted out. "Damn it, move!" Unexpectedly, the limb arm came to life, but it was disfigured, the substance didn't fully wrap itself over Allen's flesh.

_**I completely forgot that hormones carry orders like neurons.**_

Having such tender flesh exposed, Allen howled out in pain.

"Amazing, he overcame anaesthesia!" the ethereal woman wondered.

_**Sh, calm down, she's won't hurt you.**_

"Your nerves are paralyzed. Don't try to push yourself into activating it. Calm down, I'm not your enemy." She reassured as she kissed the agonized Anti-Akuma weapon and touched her cool forehead to Allen's feverish one."Activating your weapon when you're not fully synchronized is dangerous." Light erupted at the spot their skin touched. "2, 16, 30, 41, 58, 78, 83%." She finished counting pulled away. As the woman pulled away, Allen noticed that his hand went back to normal. "You're alright now? It looks like 83% is your maximum synchronization rate with your weapon."

Now that she proved that she had no ill-intentions Allen calmed down. "Synchronization percentage?"

"It's the life-line for Anti-Akuma weapon activation. The lower the synchronisation level is, the harder it is to activate, and the user may become endangered. I didn't want to scare you. I just wanted to get to know your Innocence."

"Get to know my Innocence?" Wait, like a personality? Wasn't it just an item that sought out the biologically most fitting user and joined him? It didn't act on impulse?

Anti-Akuma weapons... no, Innocence had intelligence?

_**Bingo.**_

"Allen Walker. Sometime in the black future, your Innocence will create an extraordinary 'Destroyer of Time '." _**So... in short we'll kick ass, right?**_ "This is what I have felt. That is my power."

Before Allen could ask Komui cut in, clapping enthusiastically. "How amazing~." He squealed. "That's probably true~. Hevlaska's fortunetelling is correct most of the time. We count on you Allen!"

"Komui." - Was the only warning Allen gave, before he sent a punch in his way with his right hand. Unfortunately, the man blocked the hit with a clipboard that bent under the force of Allen's attack. He wouldn't even feel sorry if he broke the guy's jaw with his left, but sadly it was still paralyzed. "Can I hit you once, please?"

"But you already punched~ Sorry, sorry. You were surprised, eh? You were scared, I know, I know. Hev, has a scary face. Nice punch by the way. Exorcists who join must be examined by Hevlaska. Those are the rules."

"Please mention those kinds of things beforehand!" Allen snapped at the guy, who didn't even look sorry at all. He still wanted to punch him badly, but he didn't want to come off as a bully. "What is this 'Innocence' anyways?" he asked instead.

The man leaned against the railing and Allen was tempted to push the cocky bastard off, he was trying his patience. Even if he was raised to be a gentleman he had his limits. "I'll explain, because Innocence is something you Exorcists need to know all about. This story is only known for the Black Priests and the Vatican. Also, the Millennium Earl. It started nearly a century ago. One Cube was found and it began there. Our ancestors left us a message. What was in that message was a saying from long ago. It was an instruction on how to use this substance."

Allen nodded quickly absorbing the information. He didn't hesitate to ask, he couldn't afford to not now any available knowledge about Anti-Akuma weapons. "What substance?"

"The cube itself was the substance but... it was called God's Crystal, which possesses a special power. We call it Innocence. It is the cross on your left hand. Anti-Akuma weapons process the Innocence and turn it into weaponry.

The Maker of this cube is known to have used this Innocence. Facing off against evil, they fought the Millennium Earl and won. But in the end, the world was destroyed. It happened around 7000 years ago, and in the Old Testament it is referred to as Noah's Great Flood.

However, the Cube tells us, that those were the Three Days of Darkness. According to the Cube's prediction, the world is bound to meet its end at the hands of the Earl. The Three Days of Darkness will come again. So far the Cube's prophecy is correct. The Earl has returned to this world. Due to the prophecy coming true, the Vatican decided to follow the cube's message. This is the revival of the Black Order and its Priests. 'Gather Apostles. An Apostle is a compatible person. Without an Innocence-compatible person, the power cannot be used.' The Innocence-compatible people are you, Exorcists.

But the Earl hasn't forgotten the past either. He has created armies to destroy God. Those are the Akuma. If Innocence is the 'white', then the Dark Matter is the 'black'. The more it kills, the more it evolves. The Earl wants to destroy the Innocence and stop the revival of it.

Innocence has spread throughout the world, because of the Noah's Great Flood. There are 109 units in all. We are to wake up the people who contain Innocence, and gather up an army to counter the Earl's. The Earl is on the move to find the Innocence and destroy them. It is a race to obtain Innocence. If we lose the race, the end will be just as the prophecy foretold."

"Fight!" a Great General's voice boomed. "This is your duty as one who has been chosen by the Innocence. It is a duty!"

"Well, then." Komui continued as if he wasn't interrupted. "That's about it." He reached his hand out, offering a handshake. "Let's fight together to save the world." He winked at him. "You won't make a single penny, though."

"...Sure." Allen replied as he joined hands with the eccentric man. He might have been a sadist, but if he fought for this world, so he can't be that bad.

The man smiled at him as he gave a firm handshake. "Welcome to the Black Priesthood. Right now, with you in our group, we have found 19 Exorcists. Most are around the world, working on different missions, but soon you'll be able to meet them all. By the way, Hevlaska is an Exorcist too."

"What?!" Allen shouted out in surprise. This person was a human?!

"I am a different type than you guys, but I am a compatible person for the Cube." She whispered. "Ever since the teachings started, I have been a keeper of Innocence. I have met with many Exorcists. Allen, may God be with you."

XXX

Finally done with the administrational paperwork Allen plopped down on the floor, leaning to his bed. "Whew, that took forever." He sighed as he loosened his bowtie. Looking around he noticed, that his silent companion wasn't around. "Where did Timcampy go?" Now that he thinks about it ever since he was taken down he hasn't seen him. He let his head roll back on the mattress, noticing with satisfaction that it wasn't either too soft or too hard, it was perfect. In his upside-down position he noticed a peculiar painting on the wall.

It depicted a grinning, chained clown being dragged down on an endless path, while being forced to carry a burden bigger than himself. "Finally, I have come here, Mana." He was surprised by the place, they were nicer and a lot more laid-back than he expected. He thought he would face strict orders and unsympathetic officials, but these people were kind. He fully expected to be treated as dirt since it was a commonplace to harden the newcomers, but he was treated with utmost respect. For them, he wasn't just a nameless, faceless pawn to be used, he was Allen Walker. He was pleasantly surprised.

"Finally, I'm at the starting line." He reached out his scaled hand to touch the painting. "Don't stop, keep walking." He recited the words Mana, his father left him. "I don't care about fate. I have chosen this path myself."

He glanced at the cross on the back of his palm. Even if he had no saying in carrying an Innocence, it was his decision to fight. This Anti-Akuma weapon would be by his side on his way. With this power he could protect the things that needed to be protected. His past negative feelings for it dissipated with time, now that he was old enough to understand. He wasn't chosen out because of some cruel joke, he was given an opportunity to save the world he lived in. The world Mana left behind. He'll do his best to preserve the way it was, to save to preserve Mana's legacy.

_Let's go._

"I promise... whatever it takes, I won't stop walking. I will keep walking until I die." He won't stop, never again.

XXX

I skipped the Introduction Arc and went for the Black Order immediately. Those chapters were only made to create the atmosphere and show that Allen is immune to Akuma poison, I won't dawdle with them. I don't think I break anyone's heart.

As I wrote this chapter I've been wondering why did they refer to god in plural. Maybe they see the Innocence pieces themselves as a gods? I wish Hoshino continued already, her Instagram is suspiciously silent these days.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. Thank you for your support and the feedbacks, they motivate me. I never thought I'd have 50 reviews, 80+ favourites and 90+ follows. I hope you'll like it. Please, remember to review. 'Til next time.


	16. Chapter 16

It's been forever since I published a new chapter for this story. Thanks DeathStarling556 for reviewing, and thank you everyone, for I reached 80+ favourites and my follows reached three digits! Virtual hugs and kisses for you and everyone who sacrifices precious minutes of their time to read this fanfiction. Also, sorry for the delay, but I'm prioritising my long overdue Laven Week story. I updated this, because I wanted to give you guys something before school starts. You guys are the best!

Chapter 16

The next day Allen woke up and started his usual workout that ended with 300 thumb-push-ups while balancing on a tilted chair to make his right side as strong as the left. By the time he was finished the sun has risen. He headed for the showers where he washed away the perspiration gathered on his skin and then went for the cafeteria.

Since it was shown to him he found it without a hitch. He was relieved to see that even though the queue was long it moved fast. In a matter of minutes it was his turn.

When he peeked in he was surprised to see a muscled tanned man, who kept his long hair in two long low pigtails. He wore a sleeveless shirt and a pink apron, also a pair of sunglasses.

Allen instinctively leaned back when the man leaned in his face with awe. He could practically see sparks glitter behind those black tinted lenses. "A new recruit?" the cook cheered. "Wow and what a pretty kid!"

Him? Pretty? Didn't this guy see that his face practically sliced in half? Or it was a common thing here? Well, at least he seemed nice and easy to get along with. "Nice to meet you." He greeted the man politely - Jerry, his nametag said.

"What do you want to eat?" the cook, Jerry asked enthusiastically. "I can make anything."

Anything? "Ok, then I'll get lasagne and potatoes and dry curry and ma-po tofu and beef stew and a meat pie and a calpaccho and a nashigoren and chicken and potato salad and corn and a kuppa, tomyank and rice, and for dessert a mango pudding and 20 mitarashi dangos."

"Can you eat all of that?" the pink-haired man muttered in shock. Before they could engage in a small talk Allen a small commotion broke out behind Allen. "What did you say?!" An obnoxious voice cried out behind him. "You wanna say that again?" He turned to see a tall, bulky beige-coated man loom above a familiar samurai. There were other guys in beige coat like that, trying to restrain the one behind Kanda from doing anything rash.

The stoic Japanese laid his chopsticks on top of his bowl. "Shut up. My meal tastes bad when you talk about dead people."

"Is that how you respect your fallen comrades?! We, Finders support you with our lives and you, and you... " fury clouded the man's, Buzz's judgement and swung his fist at the Exorcist. "AND YOU SAY YOUR MEAL TASTES BAD?!"

The Japanese evaded the attacked without much effort. Buzz only had a nanosecond to regret this move before he was grabbed by the younger male's hand. The black-haired individual held the man firmly in place, not caring in the slightest about his physical well-being. "Support us?" he asked mockingly. "All you can do is 'support' us. You guys are the ones who aren't chosen to carry the Innocence."

Buzz was choking by now. "If you don't want to die, run away. Your insignificant life can replaced any time."

Allen couldn't contain his concern anymore, if Kanda didn't stop now Buzz was going to die. His scaly left hand trapped Kanda's wrist in an iron grip. "Stop it." He calmly asked gazing in the enraged onyx orbs.

**So we're having our showdown with pretty boy? I'm all in.**

Kanda's glare threatened to impale him, but Allen held his ground. Yea, as if he'd cave in from something like that. "I'm sorry to interrupt when I have nothing to do with this, but I don't think this is a good way of resolving this." He wanted this conflict to dissolve without violence, but it was hard to deal with Kanda's fierce nature.

What Kanda said rightfully angered that Finder, he did talk disrespectful towards the dead and offended his alive affiliations. Allen agreed with the Finders that this wasn't acceptable.

However, Allen didn't want to jump into conclusions. He refrained from judging the teen without the proper evidences first. The guy might have a particularly bad day that causes him to be so edgy or lost someone important himself and wanted to forget about it. There was very little he knew about the guy, just tiny puzzles from the big picture.

He knew that Kanda had a short temper and was a very suspicious and perceptive individual. He also seemed to possess a great pain tolerance, but zero for everything else. He had a high healing rate, since he was grabbing the Finder with his right hand, and if Allen recalled correctly his right side had some sort of injury. He had some sort of big secret, Allen could feel it. He was also quite blunt and straight-forward. It reminded him of his old self, the person he used to be before he became Allen.

The person he could have remained if Mana haven't died.

"Back off, Beansprout." See? Blunt. But still. Beansprout? "I'm Allen."

A mocking smirk stretched on the taller male's face. "Heh. If you don't die within the next month, I'll remember your name. There are many that die here, like these guys." Allen's fist tightened around the one that just wouldn't let go of that poor guy's throat. Almond-eyes widened at the force that made him let go of the unconscious victim. The poor guy slumped on the floor like a bag of potatoes.

"I said, that's not a good thing to say." Allen repeated. Seriously, he was trying to act nice and civil but this guy kept provoking everyone.

Onyx eyes glared daggers at him. "You're gonna die soon. I hate your type." Not to kind of person who makes friends easily, eh?

"Well, thank you." Allen replied dryly countering the murderous gaze. Neither of them back down and everyone else backed away from the two, who seemed to have summoned hellfire around themselves.

In the end, they were interrupted by Reever. "Kanda, Allen, finish your meal in 10 seconds, you have a mission."

Kanda gave a last warning glare to the silver-eyed boy, before collecting his utensils and leaving the piece.

Allen sighed as he turned back to have his meal in peace finally. At last, he was going to be sent on a mission. This way he didn't have to see that infuriating samurai for a while.

XXX

Nailed it. Kanda and him were going on a mission. Together. _Marvellous_.

After the short mission briefing, Komui led them down to the Underground Passage. Allen was given an Exorcist coat, just like Kanda's one, except it had the hood he requested. The coat was warm and tightly-woven quality material, it followed the outlines of his body perfectly. His gloves too were customized to fit his hands. He gasped in surprise when a familiar golden orb flew out of his sleeves. "Timcampy, where the heck have you been all this time?" Sure, Tim had the tendency to fly off and explore, but he usually stuck to the Brit.

Allen heard water sloshing. As he glanced at the source of the sound he noticed a beige-coated man pedalling to their way. Seeing Kanda board the small vehicle he followed his elder. As soon as he settled down the man behind them continued rowing.

"Timcampy has the ability to project the past of someone he's been with." Komui shouted after him. "I got to see your adventures with him, that's why I didn't sleep."

Well, Allen couldn't say he was happy about Komui watching Tim's recordings. Really, even if they were allies, they just met like what, a few days ago? Despite the fact that he trusted Tim's judgement not to show something he wanted to keep private, like opening up once in a blue moon, he preferred personal space. He didn't want to be judged or pitied. He might have been born with Innocence, but it was his decision to become an Exorcist and save the Akuma.

The Supervisor only smiled at him, giving a thumbs up. "Later!"

His warm smile stuck to Allen's face. "I'll be back!"

XXX

They just descended the train, when they received an incoming call. Allen and his two companions Kanda, and a Finder, Toma raced as fast as their legs could carry them, while Timcampy conveniently nestled himself in his hood. They stopped when they reached the end of a cliff that overlooked the city of Mater. A cold breeze pushed its way through the thick wool coat, making Allen shudder at the dark premonition. The Finders were all dead or at least very close to it.

"Oi" his partner called out to him, undoubtly 100% aware of the situation they were in. "I'll say this before we start. I don't care if you're on the verge of being killed, if I find that you're a nuisance I'll leave you behind. In a war there are always sacrifices, so don't think of us as partners."

_**As if we'd need your help.**_

Allen could tell that the guy wasn't kidding, he was seriously going to leave Allen behind. In a way he kind of reminded him of Cross. The way he spoke and acted was a tell-tale sign that he lost people before and he hardened himself to be able to carry on. For an outsider he would seem cold and cruel, but Allen could understand.

They were at war. People died every day. People lost their loved ones every day. Exorcists like his Master and Kanda fought for their lives and the survival of humanity every day. They had to walk over the corpses of their companions when the situation required so. Since Exorcist were rare and were the only ones who could fight the Earl and his endless swarm of Akuma, their life is often prioritised over the civilians'. They had to do their very best to survive, even sacrificing others. They simply saw and lost too much to the war. War either kills you with a single blow or slowly, little by little, every single day, until only a shell of a human remains. In order to survive, in order to win and save mankind, ironically humans had to give up their humanity. And those two were just like that. They weren't bad... just bitter and sick and tired of losing.

...Just like- No. This wasn't the time to get all nostalgic. He shook his head in slight disapproval. Even if he _could_ understand- "I don't like your way of thinking."

They jolted at the sound of gunshots in the distance. Allen's eye was still inactivated, since they were out of range, but he saw the Akuma shooting at two figures, but fortunately, those two were protected by some cube they were placed within. His heart pummelled seeing bloodied, beige-coated humans lying around in their own pool of blood. There was also what appeared to be a man clad in clown outfit, torturing a Finder. Without further ado, he shot out like a bullet, targeting the one, who was currently stomping on a half-dead man's head. To think he would encounter another broker, those greedy bastards were everywhere. He couldn't show mercy again. He readied his claw and smashed it at him, ready to pin him down. Through the contract a cold shiver ran down his spine. That's when his eye finally activated. Allen let out a shocked gasp, this was an Akuma?!

His claw was caught by the Akuma, who sneered at him. "Who are you? WHAT ARE YOU?!"

Allen was too surprised by the fact that the Akuma talked, so he didn't notice the kick aimed at his ribs until it reached him and set him flying.

The Akuma glanced at its disintegrating hand, leaving enough time for Allen to get out of the rubbles. "I get it now. This power... You're the ones called Exorcists, right?"

Allen snarled at him. "You're the one who killed the Finders!" The creature's psychotic smile widened to an impossible extent. Allen watched with calculating eyes as the machine _excitedly_ flew over to him.

"Can you hear it?" it asked. "The sound of my heart... it's getting excited! Exorcist! Exorcist! Exorcist!" it chanted, then squealed in delight.

Allen has never been this confused in his life. Was this Akuma fighting with its human skin on? No, that face didn't really look human, even if the body structure did resemble to a human's a great deal. It even wore clothes: a corset-like white vest, black long sleeves, white gloves with sharp digits, black and white striped skirt, baggy pants, oversized clown shoes and a fool hat. A Pierrot. Fate was screwing with him again.

Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the usual face, that belonged to the "shell" of the Akuma wasn't as visible, it seemed that a layer of skin grew over it. As if saying that the one who called back their loved one are being swallowed up by their own sin. On the other side of the Akuma's pectoral was number 2 indicated with Roman numbers.

But not only its appearance was unusual, it had and openly displayed emotions. It _talked_. He glanced at the soul, that he usually ignored, frowning. Instead of the usual decaying corpse tied down by a chain, the soul looked like a mummified one that was forced into foetal position. Its screams intensified. The soul sealed within... was becoming corrupt.

_**It's evolved. It's a Level 2 now.**_

"Mugen." A familiar voice spoke up. Allen completely forgot about his partner, who jumped off a roof and with a single slice he destroyed the standard ball-shaped Akuma and resheathed his sword. After he landed, he walked over to the barely alive Finder. "What's the deactivation code to the talisman?" he asked, in a slightly tamer voice than usual.

"E-Exorcist, you came!" the dying man whispered coarsely.

Kanda's voice was surprisingly soft. "Hurry up if you want to avenge the death of your companions."

"Ha-Have hope..." he uttered, then with a sigh, he passed on.

The pony-tailed Exorcist walker over to the barrier, deactivated it and offered his hand to the two who had been locked inside.

"No, the doll!" The Akuma shrieked, its gaze jumping from one Exorcist to the other. Its mouth foamed, then it let out a low, anomalistic growl. "I'll kill you right here." He screeched in Allen's face, dark aura pouring out of it. "I'll kill you kill you kill you!"

Meanwhile Kanda grabbed the two who were locked in the talisman an leapt on top a roof.

"I'll get you later anyway!" he promised the samurai.

Allen thought that the other would race away without a word, but the Japanese paused. "I'm not going to help you defeat him." He replied. "It was your fault that you acted on your emotions in the first place."

Oh, Allen thought that it was good teamwork to have one of them deal with the Akuma while the other went ahead and hid the doll. He thought Kanda wouldn't even think of him asking for help. He worked with Cross like this too. "Alright, go ahead. You have the Innocence, there's no need for me to worry." There were no survivors after all. The very thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. He steeled himself for the violent fight that would take place soon, his eyes not straying from the gleeful Akuma, who waited for him patiently. Strange, Akuma usually blindly attacked, but this one appeared to want to _savour_ and _enjoy_ their fight. "I'll destroy the Akuma and then get going." He promised. The Japanese spared a last glance at him and left the scene.

Finally alone, the two opposing forces lunged at each other. The first attack they aimed at each other made both of them fly backwards from the force of the blow. Anchoring himself to the ground, Allen managed to keep his footing, unlike the Akuma. The corrupted Akuma jumped back on its feet when Allen stuck his claw in the thick wall behind him. With a strong yank, he tore an enormous piece out of the wall and threw it at his opponent. The Akuma was startled for a second, before it smashed the stone to pieces, only to see the young Exorcist gone. It failed to notice Allen above him. Not giving his enemy a chance to recover, Allen swung his weapon down on the Akuma. It was over.

_**Not yet! He got away.**_

As Allen landed and spared a last glance at the evolved Akuma he gasped. The soul was gone. It didn't get freed, it was simply gone. It wasn't the Akuma, it was an empty vessel, a fake.

"Over here~, over here~!" the malicious voice sang.

As he turned back his activating eye widened to see his own reflection. Suddenly he felt wet on his right shoulder and he realised that he wasn't looking at his reflection, it was a replica of him, but reversed. Also, its smile was nothing like his usual. This Akuma mimicked him, just like the clown it was.

He grit his teeth as the copy of his own claw tore his flesh. "Shit!" he cursed as he batted away his opponent, who laughed gleefully.

"I copied it. Your power" It sang. "You underestimated me didn't, you? I'm a Level 2." It boasted. "Unlike the ball-like Akuma, my abilities have been discovered. Well, actually I just found out about them myself. And this is the evolved form of my ability... now I'll kill you." The Level 2 swung the stolen claw back, but to Allen's great surprise, the Akuma changed the shape of his claw into a harpoon. A jolt of long-forgotten fear ran down his spine, making him freeze.

_He ran, ran away from the torches, the shovels and the sharp, pointy __**harpoon**__-like pitchforks-_

His body registered the stab, before he was sent flying through numerous walls, knocked unconscious.

XXX

I don't always upload. But when I do another 5 author does. I hope they'll make it before Monday. Reviews pls.


	17. Chapter 17

Small pieces of rocks fell from the weakened walls onto the pile of rubble. Suddenly, the stones shifted as a young white-haired boy emerged from the ruins, groaning in pain. "What the hell was that...?"

Without him ordering so, his Anti-Akuma weapon moved to block the attack.

Before he could indulge in deep thinking about his Innocence, he recognised the sound of sizzling and the scent of something burning. He shrieked when he realised it was his left arm. It was damaged from the hit, but strangely enough he felt no pain. But he will. He will definitely feel agony under Komui's tort- I mean treatment.

He heard another familiar sound, which made him shift with unease. "What's this sound?" His only clue was the ground disappearing from under him. The floor crumbled under his and the rocks' weight. "NOOOO!" he screamed as gravity claimed him as its own. His heart almost leapt out of his chest, when his Innocence pinkie got caught in a candelabrum.

Somehow he ended up in an enormous underground corridor, supported by strong pillars decorated with small mosaic, that matched with the tiled floor.

When it let out a pitiful cry, Allen knew he'd fall another round. He grunted in pain, but in a way he was thankful that his fall was slowed, if it wasn't he might have died.

This was no good. Now that the Akuma believed he succeeded in killing Allen, he'd go after Kanda and the doll. It wasn't that he didn't trust Kanda, but this Akuma had special abilities, he might show up with Allen's appearance.

An evolved Akuma. Shit, just what he needed. It was really tenacious. But he's nor backing down, he's going to destroy that Akuma. If he didn't more people would die, resulting the creation of even more of them and the Earl would get stronger than he already is. He was also worried about the soul. If he destroyed the machine, then it would be free, but like all energy sources, souls had a limit too. If they were fuelled by the negative emotions of the soul, then the more they evolved, the faster their souls would get used up. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if an Akuma "ran out of fuel". He had to destroy that Level 2 here and now.

As he looked around, he gasped realising that he fell into some underground tunnel-system. Great, just great. He was so going to get lost.

XXX

Without doubt, he was lost. He wanted to bang his head in the wall. Damn, this place is was like a damn labyrinth, there's a good chance that he'd continue crawling for hours.

He perked up, holding his breath back. Faintly, he could hear a sound. It was a voice and it belonged to a male. And there was another one.

Revitalised by the discovery that he was close to the exit, he took up pace. He was surprised to see his reversed self, but it didn't notice him. This was the perfect chance to finish him. He activated his Innocence, ready to finish his opponent with a sneak attack.

That's when the warning bells went off in his head.

Wait. If this was an Akuma then his eye should have activated. But then what _was_ it?

"Return of the Apocalypse." Shit, he can't let Kanda attack until it's confirmed it's an Akuma. "First Illusion, Underworld Insects!" Seeing his replica tear up, Allen extended his arm to block the creatures. The one he protected fainted from the stress. "Master Walker..." Wait, that voice. Allen crawled out of the hole, worriedly eyeing the collapsed individual.

"Beansprout!" his partner's voice thundered furiously. "What do you think you're doing? Why are protecting the Akuma?"

"Kanda, I have an eye, that can tell people apart from Akuma." He replied. "This person is not an Akuma!"

"Master Walker..." the doppelganger repeated, drawing Allen's attention. The Brit gasped seeing the "face" cracked. "A gap in his face?" With a confident yank, he tore up what turned out to be a disguise, to reveal the unconscious Finder. "Toma?!"

"What?"

But if Allen held the real Toma, then- "Kanda, that Toma behind you is the Akuma!"

Kanda whipped back, but he was a second too late. He ended up being blown away from the force of the hit, dropping Mugen in surprise.

Allen instantly rushed after them, gasping in horror as he witnessed the Akuma slicing Kanda from his right shoulder down to his left hip with the claw he stole from Allen. The Brit felt the blood flood his brain when the Level 2 laughed at the black-haired Exorcist's state. "You bastard!" he cried as he tore the Akuma in half, knocking him in through the wall. He didn't bother checking whether he succeeded in killing it, he doubted it though. Without sparing it a glance, he rushed to Kanda's side and grabbed him by the shoulders to keep him from falling. "Kanda!" Damn, even if the guy was an asshole, he still didn't want him to die.

He laid the Japanese down and wrapped his destroyed shirt around the deep wound. This should buy them some time. He quickly threw Kanda's arm over his shoulder, so the he wouldn't accidentally touch his wound, then got back to the unconscious Finder. He hauled Toma above his shoulder and grabbed Mugen. With pained groans he started dragging the two, aware that he was leaving blood marks behind.

"Master Walker, please leave me here." Toma requested. "You're badly injured too."

Leave this guy behind, choose the easy way out? This wasn't the reason why he became an Exorcist. "I will do no such thing." He replied as he patted Toma's back.

Damn, he had no idea where he was, on top of that he had to take care of his own injuries too.

Just like a beacon in eternal darkness, a soft voice penetrated through the air. A song, Allen realised.

_The city of Martel was called "the land forsaken by God". Living in despair, the people started to create dolls in order to forget about their situation. Joyous dolls that danced and sang. Even after the fall of the city, there was a single doll, who continued to move._

Allen could hear it, the terribly beautiful melody, an artificial flower's lullaby.

The song ended, but Allen was already close enough to make out two voices, an old man's and a little girl's. As he approached the shushed voices grew clearer. Finally after so long he got a close look at the pair. One of them was a young girl with long, blond, wavy hair and had some strange metal cap attached to from the top to the backside of her skull, also her left eye was covered. The other was an old man with a face that looked like it had scales, then had it burned. It was similar to his left arm.

"Yes, Guzol." The girl said as she moved to embrace the other person. "Lala is Guzol's doll. What shall I sing next?"

A tear left Guzol's eye, followed by many others. "I'm an ugly, ugly human."

Oh... So the young girl was the doll.

Finally the pair noticed Allen, who stopped in his tracks. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He apologized, trying to show that he wasn't danger, then his eyes shifted to the girl. "You are the doll, aren't you?"

He had a bad feeling when her eyes darkened at that. Her hand shot out, her fingers easily penetrating a marble pillar and effortlessly raised it above her head. Ok, now he got it. She threw the pillar at him with deadly accuracy. If he hadn't dodged, they'd all be squashed to death by its weight.

"Wait a minute! Calm down and let's ta-Wah!" he shouted as he dodged, yet another one. He quickly laid down the two males he carried and removed his left glove, his Innocence glowing in reply to the immediate threat. Another pillar was launched, but this time he caught it with his claws.

The girl was startled and he used that to throw the pillar back. She quickly raised her arms to protect herself and bit her lower lip, waiting for the undoubtly collision, that never came. Her eyes snapped wide open when the pillars behind her crumbled loudly. The spun rod came back and she dropped to the ground, awaiting for her end. "There's nothing left for you to throw." Allen asked, smiling at her reassuringly. "Please tell me what's going on. I don't want to fight a cute girl."

She was stunned by his request, she didn't expect to hear such words. She bowed her head, as she raised her hands over her artificial heart. "Guzol is going to die soon!" her voice was just as desperate as her azure blue eye. "Until then, please don't separate me from him! I'll give you my heart!" Her bold promises shocked Allen, he didn't expect this.

He was on a mission, he had to protect the Innocence. But...

An old man... and a doll who moved for the past 500 years... these two, who loved each other so much. It was as if the two of them were against the world...

Well, he did feel quite exhausted a little breather wouldn't hurt. Besides there were nothing to kill except them.

He nodded in approval, making the doll sigh in relief. Immediately, she sought out her companion and searched for a suitable seat. He laid Kanda on the stone stage in the centre of the hall. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the wound wasn't that deep, just long. There wasn't much else he could do for him, so Allen took off his coat and folded it to cushion Kanda's head. His own injury stopped bleeding already, so he didn't bother bandaging himself. Soon, Toma woke up too. He was surprised to see him with the doll, but didn't comment, probably out of respect, since Allen was practically his superior.

Once the wounded were taken care of, Allen settled down, ready to hear Lala. "A long time ago" she started, her eyes gazing into nothingness "a human child was calling in Mater. The villagers persecuted that child."

_His parents persecuted that child. The world persecuted that child._

The lake of repressed memories were fret. His usually demanding stomach churned uncomfortably at the similarity of their situations.

"He was abandoned in this city, where ghosts were rumoured to live."

_He was abandoned in this world all alone..._

_No... he had always been alone from the start._

Upon discovering the crying child, the creature jumped out of the ruins excitedly, chanting the words 'a human'. The boy flinched when the unkept doll appeared in front of him, her hair was a tangled mess and she was broken many places.

_He was broken, but the also broken clown attempted to put his pieces together._

"Boy." The nameless doll asked. "How about a song?"

It had been 500 years since the citizens of Martel left. It wasn't the first time a human got lost in the city. This was the 6th child. When she asked the 5 children before "how about a song?" they all attacked her all of sudden.

_He just wanted to be held, but he was slapped instead._

They shouted "monster" as they knocked her down.

_They shouted "monster" as they chased him and almost killed him._

Even though she only asked them "how about a song".

_Even though he only wanted to be loved._

So this child in front of her... doesn't accept her offer... Then she will kill him. Like the others before.

She was a doll made by humans. To move for the humans was the reason she existed. _Let me sing!_

_He was a human who existed, who exited- ...for what reason did he exist?_

"A song?" the small boy croaked as fresh tears slid down on his scarred cheeks. "Will you sing for me? No one has ever done something like that for me. I'm called Guzol. Sing, Ms. Ghost."

And for the first time in 500 years, she could sing again.

_And for the first time in his life he was considered human._

"It's been 80 years since then. Guzol has been with me ever since. Guzol... will stop moving soon. His heartbeat have been growing quieter and quieter. Once Guzol dies I don't care what happens to me. In all my 500 years the only one who accepted me as a doll was Guzol."

_In his short and miserable life, the only one who accepted him was Mana._

"Let me live with him until the end!" she implored. "Please!"

...What should he do? He had to collect the Innocence before the Akuma came. For the sake of the humanity, he had to secure the Innocence no matter what. If the Innocence was lost, then they'd lose the means to fight. The less risky version would be to take the dolls heart as soon as possible. Also, Kanda was gravely injured, the longer he was denied professional care, the worse his condition would become. The more he stayed, the more likely it was to be found by that Akuma.

He had to choose.

Let the old man die on his own and risk Kanda's, one of the world's few Exorcist's life, also losing a piece of Innocence.

Don't take risks, take the dolls heart, leave the old man to die and get out.

It was clear which was the more reasonable.

The forsaken old man...

_The crazy clown._

The broken doll...

_The neglected child..._

The world that abandoned them and condemned them to live their lives in solitude now demanded their separation. These two had nothing in the world until they found each other, and now that world expected them to give up their everything. To have one dead and let the other live the rest of his life in misery.

...What should he do...?

"No!" Allen jolted when Kanda suddenly sat up, his hazy onyx orbs baring into him. "Wait until the old man dies? We can't grant that wish. We came to protect the Innocence! Take that doll's heart now!" The order was harsh, just like the pants that left Kanda's mouth. The thought of separating the two made Allen's insides tremble with cold. Seeing Allen unmoving he snapped at him. "What did we come here for?!"

Kanda knew the reasonable choice, however-"I... I can't do it." He was weak... "Sorry, I just can't do it."

The older grit his teeth in rage and threw the white-head's coat in his face. "That coat isn't a pillow for the wounded, it's the uniform of an Exorcist!"

Allen gazed at his coat conflicted. He's been training for 4 years to become an official Exorcist. He gave up his everything to achieve that. He never even had a future to begin with, so it wasn't that much of a sacrifice.

But the light coat felt much heavier than he imagined. Deciding whether one should live or die... Was he really entitled to judge that? Did he have the right to tell who should die for the sake of humanity?

"There are sacrifices that must be made, rookie." Choose the smaller evil. Allen understood that this was _needed_, but it only felt like some cheap excuse. It felt like betraying the ones who put their trust into them. How could he allow that?

"Please don't." the doll begged, but Kanda just wordlessly raised the tip of his sword above her chest. Guzol encaged Lala in a protective embrace, but Allen couldn't say for sure that such thing would stop Kanda.

Because Kanda wasn't in the wrong. In order to protect something, you must sacrifice something else. "Then I'll be the one. " He stated, startling all those present. He stood in the way of Kanda's blade, his eyes boring into his partner's ones. "Will it be enough if I become the sacrifice for these two?" It angered him, this helplessness. The fact that he was faced to make such choices. He didn't become an Exorcist to watch people die then shrug it off as it was inevitable. He had to keep trying, it's not like he had anything to lose anyway. "They just want to be able to see their wish to the very end." Even if he couldn't, even if he was stolen from such future, he wished that these two could be happy. "Until then, I cannot remove the Innocence from this doll. If I destroy the Akuma, then there's no problem, is there?" They had to destroy it either way, they couldn't leave it as it was. So then why not let these two stay together until then? It was unnecessary to take her heart if they have to stay here anyway. "To always make sacrifices in order to win the war... it's futile."

His eye instinctively closed when a clenched fist collided with his cheek, making his lose balance and fall in the soft sand. Having moved too soon, Kanda too collapsed. "Master Kanda!" Toma called out to him, but was ignored in favour of Allen.

"How incredibly naive." He spat. "Selling yourself out to pitiful strangers. Isn't there anything important to you?!"

_Important? _

"There was something important..." he admitted softly "that I lost a long time ago. It's pitiful. I don't have a noble reason. I just don't want to see something like this happen. That's all. Because I'm a small man, my heart is moved by what's in front of my eyes, not what the world needs. I can't just abandon what's in front of me." He couldn't let such a heartbreaking thing happen, never again! "I want to protect everything I can!"

The sound of ripping clothes and flesh ended their dispute. Allen and Kanda watched in horror as the Brit's copied and transformed talon impaled the two. Lala could only call out Guzol's name before they were yanked behind. In a desperate attempt to save them, Allen reached after them, but it was too late. Sand swirled around them and soon, the Akuma appeared from it. "I got the Innocence!" it screamed in delight, presenting the two bodies it impaled. Guzol was stabbed in stomach, bleeding hard, but what grabbed his attention was Lala's lifeless eyes. The Akuma carelessly dropped the two to the ground. In a pitiful attempt Guzol reached his hand out to his inanimate companion. "La-Lala" he called out brokenly, feeling the life leave him.

Something inside Allen snapped. His fingers twitched as boiling hot anger spread through his veins. And then just as the heat came it went away, leaving scorching cold inside.

It happened again. Two people were ripped apart again. All because of this damned war. All because of the Earl and his Akuma. The man who exploited people's weaknesses and promised them something they can never achieve. A sociopath who lulled people into false fantasies then let it all crush down on them as they were killed by the one they called back. He not just killed but _ruined_ his victims.

_**He used you and ruined you. Never forgive him.**_

The suppressed anger he felt towards that _monster_ bursted out of him.

That's it. He'll kill that damn Level 2. He'll tear it to tiny pieces before letting it go. He'll definitely save that suffering soul caged within.

_I'll destroy every single one of them!_

_**That's right, show no mercy. Destroy it. Destroy them all.**_

His Innocence sensed his anger and hungrily gobbled down the energy Allen's rage was providing. It manifested itself to represent Allen's anger and destructive desires. It twisted and turned as it evolved, the green flame that normally stopped at the Accommodator's shoulder curled around his head, as if wanting to provide protection there too. The tendons like fingers intertwined with Allen's hair.

_**I'm almost done.**_

"Return that Innocence." Allen ordered coldly. "Give it back."

_**Go.**_

Without further ado, Allen jumped high and pointed his evolved weapon at the Level 2. If Allen came into direct touch with that Akuma again, it could copy him, that's why his Innocence provided him a long-distance weapon. Pillar stakes were fired out of his arm, like a heavy downpour. The Akuma raised the stolen claw above himself in an attempt to shield his torn body, however he was quickly buried under Allen's attack. In the short span of time Allen spent in the air, he shot enough pillars to create a high pile. Lala and Guzol were unharmed.

Allen snapped his head back at the mocking presence he felt behind himself. "You can't hit me when I shift into sand~" the Akuma sang.

The Level 2 attacked from under Allen, who leapt away just in the Akuma's trap. The clown immobilised him by enclosing him in his sand belly. "Gotcha! It's over for you~!"

Allen couldn't see a thing in the Akuma's pitch-black inside. He couldn't really hear well from the sand muffling the sounds.

"How many times do I have to stab you before you die~?" On default, Allen was a patient person, but this Akuma's singsong voice and attitude was making him violent.

Nothing but sheer instinct made him position his Innocence before the Akuma's ruthless attacks. The mere presence of the evolved weapon disintegrated the harpoon.

Alien images and sensations flashed in his mind, which served as a medium between Allen's body and the source.

This presence... Allen have felt it for a while...

_Innocence...?_

A sudden rush of warmth pulsed through his veins, a sense of familiarity, along with more pictures. He recognised the emotions like joy and excitement, but also the concern and seriousness. That's right, he was in the middle of a fight, he could figure this out later.

He let a single spear of light emerge from his Anti-Akuma weapon, making it akin to a sword. Before the Akuma could recover, Allen swung his arm down, destroying the protective shell around the Akuma.

The Level 2 gasped as its sand skin fell apart. "So this is your true body." Allen chuckled darkly as he raised his arm, ready for another salvo. "I'm not giving you another chance to change your appearance." It was over. "This is it for you."

"I still have your arm!" it screeched as it raised the familiar claw to protect its body from the onslaught. The overwhelming power blew the machine into the wall, holding it in place. Even though Allen was pushing his body beyond his limits, it still wasn't enough. Frustration came to poke his memories on the side.

_I... I am an ugly human... _

_I don't want Lala to be broken by others. _

_Lala, when I die, let my hand be the one that breaks you._

"I... loved you Lala."

_Allen, I love you._

Allen's wrath soared to a new level, hearing Guzol's dying voice. "Unforgivenable!" he snarled, pouring more of his emotions and energy into his weapon. He could already feel exhaustion at the corner of his conscience, but he ignored it, he couldn't collapse in the last minute.

However, no matter how determined he was to finish off his opponent, his mortal body had its limit. Pain flashed through him as his muscles spasmed and his Innocence deactivated.

_**If I don't you WILL pass out.**_

The blood he coughed up was a warning indication that his insides suffered some damaged too. He curled himself into a ball as he struggled to breathe.

Rebound. His body couldn't keep up with the morphed weapon.

The Akuma freakin' squealed in delight seeing him in such a vulnerable state. Without further ado it moved to slice him in half.

Allen was sure this was the end, when his vision turned black. But upon closer inspection, he recognised that it was a very familiar black coat. "Kanda?!"

The Japanese clicked his tongue in annoyance. "You useless idiot!" he roared at his partner. "What do you think you're doing, running out of power at last minute! You were the bastard that blabbed on about protecting these two! I hate the way naive people like you do things. And even more so, I hate people who don't keep their promises." Even though his words were intended to be spiteful, Allen couldn't help but feel somewhat amused that the guy who was so hell-bent on leaving him behind and not interfering at the beginning was saving him. It was so ridiculous it wasn't even funny anymore.

Allen snickered despite the situation. "Whichever it is, you still hate me." He took a few gulps of air, then wiped the blood away from his chin. "It's not like I ran out of power or anything like that." It's just that his body couldn't take such pressure for long. "I'm just taking a little break." He still could fight.

The other grunted in a mix of exertion and irritation. "...Everything you do is irritating." With a flick of his wrist, Kanda slashed off the Akuma's claw.

_**Give me one more shot! **_

Allen obeyed the urge.

_Innocence, activate!_

"Scatter!" the two Exorcists shouted as they both unleashed their remaining power. The machine let out a final frustrated cry, before the its chains broke, setting the soul contained within free.

The stolen Innocence landed between the two fainted Exorcist with a dull thud. Allen cracked his eye opened, feeling the green glow caress his eyelids.

There was a promise that needed to be fulfilled.

"Please..." he whispered with his hoarse voice. The picture of Lala and Guzol lovingly embracing each other flashed in his mind. Allen could still recall the phantom feeling of Mana's arms around his body. It was... it used to be so warm. "Please... live..." his arm closed around the glass heart in a weak grip. "Once more..." ...They deserved it. "For Lala's sake..."

Allen pushed his battered body to his feet and limped over to the two forms lying in the sand. Guzol's hazy eyes greeted him. Allen bowed his head and placed the heart within the doll again.

_Please... don't let them end like this._

_Not like Mana and I did._

After he placed the Innocence inside the doll he was led away by Toma. He wanted them to exchange their goodbyes in peace.

When the heart was returned to Lala, she began to move.

In the midst of grief and despair, Allen felt a tiny ray of hope. Maybe, just maybe this goodbye wouldn't be so bitter after all.

However, his delicate fantasies were crushed by the cruel hand of fate.

"Mas-ter Hu-man? How a-bout a so-ong?"

His broken heart painfully twisted in the confines of his ribcage.

That doll was no longer Lala.

"Mas-ter Hu-man?" the doll called out innocently, further paining the witnesses of this scene. "Mas-ter Human... I am a doll... I sing...Master Hu-man?"

Why?

Even though they defeated the Level 2 for the sake of letting these two stay together until the very end... Allen felt as if thousands of I'm sorry-s wouldn't be enough to beg for Guzol's forgiveness. When he turned his head to the other, he was sure that Guzol's eyes would be filled with sorrow, but Guzol's eyes only held love and gratitude.

Even if it's just a lie... Even though it wasn't _his_ Lala, Guzol, went along. "Would you sing for me?"

_Even though he wasn't Allen, he went along._

Tears escaped Guzol's unclear eyes as he gazed at Lala, eyes full of adoration. "Lala... I love you."

_Allen, I love you._

"Are you asleep?" the girl innocently asked as she patted the man.

_Please destroy me._

"Then I'll sing a lullaby."

XXX

Even with his limited knowledge of foreign languages, Allen understood the song.

**Lacrimosa dies illa **

Tearful was that day...

_A young boy, out in the cold, sitting next to a lonely grave._

**Qua resurget ex favilla **

From which the ashes will rise...

_"Do you want me to revive Mana Walker?"_

**Judicandus homo reus. **

The guilty man is condemned...

_"I curse you, Allen!"_

**Huic ergo parce, Deus, **

So have mercy on him Lord...

_"Allen, I love you."_

**Pie Jesu, Domine!**

Have mercy on him Lord Jesus.

_"Please destroy me."_

Again. This cruel world... This cruel God have yet again tore apart two people, who only wanted to love each other.

Why? Why did it end up like this? What kind of sin did they commit to deserve this?

Was it because they stood in the way of God's plans, because they didn't want to hand over that Innocence just yet? Because they didn't care that the world that condemned them had to perish on their account?

But if God was so righteous, then why make them suffer like this? Why curse Guzol with such deformity? Why curse Lala by forcing her to live in eternal solitude? Why give them the illusion of a happy end, when they are only given more pain?

Why is it unacceptable to long for those you lost?

Was love truly such an unforgivenable sin?

_The only sinner here was him._

"What are you sleeping for? Stay on guard."

Allen let out a snort hearing a familiar irritating voice, that was also a little reassuring. "What is someone who's supposed to take 5 months to recover doing here?"

Kanda plopped down on the stairs a few metres away from him. "I'm healed."

The sight of the long gaping wound was still fresh in Allen's mind. "No way."

"Shut up. I got a message from Komui. I'm going ahead with my next mission. You deliver the Innocence back to Headquarters."

Headquarters. Dark Order. He was working for an organisation that fought in the name of God.

"... Understood."

He felt Kanda's lingering gaze at him, before the Japanese turned away. "If it's so hard to bear, then stop the doll. It isn't Lala anymore, right?"

_That wasn't Mana anymore._

Allen shook his head that was still buried in his forearms. "But it's their promise. The only one who can break Lala is Guzol."

Even if all was lost, even if he couldn't save them, he wanted to grant their final wish.

"You're naive." Came the harsh words in an unmatchingly softer tone. "We're destroyers not saviours."

A bitter smile spread on his face. "I know that." In the last three days he kept thinking about it. No matter what... there were certain things that could never be changed.

But even so, he still didn't want to give up trying. "But I-" The wind carried away his thoughts. There was silence. The song stopped. Three nights after Guzol died, Lala stopped.

Despite the fatigue of not sleeping for three days, Allen shot up on his feet and raced back to where he left the pair. Lala had Guzol's head in her lap as she turned to the sky, as if she wanted to song a requiem for Guzol's soul as he went to Heaven.

Now that she broke, Allen kneeled next to her to take the Innocence.

_Forgive me for being unable to save you._

"Thank you." A familiar feminine voice breathed, shocking Allen. "For letting me sing until I broke. "To Allen's utter surprise Lala was beaming at him, like a beautiful power that met its decay and started shredding its petals. "The promise has been fulfilled."

With that the girl fell in his way, as if offering her heart up to take. Allen's vision blurred as hot tears escaped his eyes.

Even if he didn't always succeed, at least he tried.

"Oi, what's wrong?" Kanda asked, without his usual bite.

Allen wiped his stray tears away as he reached for the glowing heart. "Kanda, although what you said is true, I want to become a destroyer who can save."

Even if he had to fight God, he wouldn't stop.

XXX

Unbeknownst to the humans, the two sibling shards pulsed against each other, relishing their reunion after 7000 years. Allen's Innocence whispered grateful thank-yous to the other for this last gesture.

After all that pain and misery, Allen deserved a little reassurance.

Mission aside, today was satisfactory. The young Accommodator still didn't hear It, but he recognised Its presence. He even opened up enough to let some images in. He finally realised he could rely on this power, because It belonged to Allen as Allen belonged to It. Allen was slowly starting to trust his Innocence.

And maybe one day, when Allen will accept It as his own, then It will be graced by a name that forever tied It to Allen's heart.

XXX

So in conclusion this chapter was meant to show the parallels between Allen&Mana and Lala&Guzol. Geez, I really hope Allen won't end up like Lala. To be honest I meant to stop this fic at around the time Kanda and Johnny finds Allen, but with -man continuing I guess I'll extend the series.

This is it for now, 5k+. I apologize for not updating for months, but I was really busy. Even now, I'm writing this at 1 am, so I'm really sorry for grammatical mistakes.

As always, reviews are great, so are follows and favourites.

See you next time.


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